Writing Feedback / Better chances to learn an another country: from television or a personal visit? [2]

Question : some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. how true is this statement? is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you can not learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Sophisticated technology help inhabitant in many ways. For instance, people can learn about a country by watching television programmes like reality show or talk show and watching movies. They do not need to go to the country to know the culture or language. However, many people think that it is better to visit the country if people want to know about it. People will have better understanding when they feel it themselves.

By visiting a place, human can know exactly the daily life of native people. Sometimes, television programmes exaggerate the story to attract people attention and most of them finally have different story from the real life. People can also see the magical things which happens in there like culture festival or extravagant views with their own eyes.

Inhabitant can have an interactive conversation with native in that country. They can ask many things which they curious about. People can not do a conversation by watching television or movies. This kind of activities will help inhabitant to get information which they are looking for.

On the other hand, it is an easy way to understand about other countries by using modern technology. People do not need to spend much money to buy a ticket or to pay living cost and they still get all information they need.

In conclusion, by using internet people can find out about another country and only spend few money. However, it is better to visit the country than only see it from the screen because people can get more knowledge and experience.

Writing Feedback / Is a flat is more comfortable than a house? What is better to live? IELTS2 [4]

Question : Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Right now, many people prefer to live in a high-rise apartment because they think that a flat is more comfortable than a house and have a good sense of community. Others believe that living in apartment make them feel lonely and like to live in a house. Personally, i believe that living in a house is better for people to get sense of community.

Living in a high-rise apartment means that people live in the same roof and it can increase the sense of community for the people who live in there. Many places to hang-out like lounge or gym can make people easier to find friends. Also, the occupant can follow many activities like social activity. When many participate, the energy can really make a difference to the experience of sharing life together in a community.

On the other hand, many inhabitants like to live in houses where the environment make them want to communicate with their neighbour. Most of people feel more comfortable when they can talk and visit to other houses because they are friendlier than people who live in flat. Many activities which people can participate like festival or annual event. This kind of activities make people who live in houses are know each other.

To conclude, although live in a flat have many places to meet, most of the occupant are busy people and they rarely to meet others. It is better to live in houses because the social environment feel more friendly than in flat.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The Methods To Produce Energy Using Water [2]

The diagram process gives information about two different methods of producing electricity by using water as the main substance. Overall, it can be seen that both of pictures use spindle to produce electricity. However, it has different methods. First method using water to rotates the generator while air is used in the second image.

To begin with, the first picture is happened in a reservoir. The water which is gotten in to hydroelectric dam flow through a gate. After the water are flowed inside, the width and angle of penstock make the water speed up then turns the turbine and spindle. The electricity are produced from the rotates of generator then it is distributed to power lines. After that, the water is released into the river.

The second picture have two chambers, upper chamber and lower chamber. The waves enter the lower chamber then the air will rises to upper chamber and rotates generator to produce electricity.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The Problems Which People Will Get When Live Abroad [3]

The bar chart displays about the calculate proportion of the problems which people have to face when they live abroad. Overall, the group which has much more problems is the middle age group. This group has the highest percentage in all categories according to finance, healthcare, and finding schools for their children.

Looking at the details, people aged between 35 and 54 has the biggest percentage of all groups in sorting out healthcare, at 37 per cent. This group also has the highest number in sorting out finance, at 35 per cent. The form which has the most problem to find out school for their son or daughter is the middle age group.

In contrast, elderly people always has the least number of all problems besides for sorting out healthcare which has higher proportion than people aged 18-34 but less than people in the late age group. The former group has the least number to discover schools for their children about less than 5 percent.

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Writing Feedback / Summary Article Children : Leave them Alone [5]

Alison Gopnik is a developmental psychologist and writer and Paula Flass is social historian. Two of them agree that parent should not "over-parent" or manage children too details. Parent have to stop arranging children activities and expecting big things from their kids also let them trough their own life with their way. Gopnik wrote in her book The Gardener and the Carpenter and told people that "parent should be like gardeners, tending young shoots and providing fertile ground. Instead, many resemble carpenters, chiselling away at them to create an image of success that has little to do with their kids' wishes, talents or needs". By this way, kids can adapt in this unpredictable world. By making full schedule for the children it means parent rob the essential growth of their children. Flass also believe if the parent worry too much and always provide anything for their kids, they can not be an independent person and difficult to survive in the future.

Link : newscientist.com/article/mg23130874-500-the-kids-are-alright-if-you-leave-them-alone/

Writing Feedback / Who is Responsible Of Children Unhealthy Lifestyle? How to tackle this problem? [2]

Question :many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

On the present day, only a few children who are playing outside. Most of them prefer to stay at home and play video games or watch television. They also like to eat highly-engineered junk food. If this continue to happen, they will suffer from many diseases in the future. To solve this problem, I believe that both parents and schools have have an attempt to conquer this situation.

Parent have the biggest obligation to their kids which means everything that children do, the parent should support it especially if it is a positive activity. Started from 3 years old, it is better to guardians to take their kids to get involved in sport. By this way, the children will use to it and can make it as a good habit. Also, parent should avoid to bring their kids to consume hyperpalatable food.

When a child is started to grown up, they will spend most of their time in school. Therefore, school have to control the student's lifestyle. To help reduce the risk of unhealthy way of life, school can make a rule for student to exercise everyday at least 30 minutes to an hour. School also need to supervise the student lunch by providing healthy food in the canteen.

Another element who has responsibility to resolve the problem is government. They have to take this problem seriously. If the young generation has bad lifestyle, it will also influence the future of the country. By making regulation like prohibition to provide junk-food in school can help to decrease the risk. In fact, right now many trader who sell unhealthy food which contains of danger substance.

In conclusion, all of the people need to co-operate to condense the danger of unhealthy way of life which many children have. Not only parent but also school and government must take an action.

Writing Feedback / The common silkworm's life cycle and how silk cloth is harvested from them [4]

The diagram process illustrates the silkworm life cycle and the methods of producing silk cloth. Overall, there are 4 steps from mooth become cocoon or the main ingredient of silk cloth while it needs 5 steps to make silk cloth.

To begin with, the first step eggs are produced by mooth and it happens in the mulberry leaves, after ten days the silkworms are born from the egg. The silkworms will eat the mulberry leaves as their food. About 4-6 weeks later, the silkworm alter into silk thread. The last cocoon is shaped after 3-8 days from silk thread. The main ingredient to make silk cloth is cocoon. If the cocoon are not used to make silk cloth, it will change again to mooth after 16 days.

The second process is how to make silk cloth. The first thing people should do is selecting the cocoon. After that, put cocoon into the water and boil it. The next process is unwind the cocoon in 300-900 m high. After it twist, put into the water to make it softer, then weave it. Finally, the silk cloth is ready to be shaped.

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  Life Cycle of silkworms
  

Writing Feedback / Task 2 Who Have The Responsibilities To Teach Children To Be A Good Members Of Society? [2]

Question : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As a part of communities, people need to have a good social skills so that they can have a good relationship with others. Some inhabitants believe that people who are responsible to teach children are their parents while others think that school have to do something about it. I personally believe that parent is the one who have to take this as their obligation.

The first person who children now is their parent and they are the people who shape their child character. It is better for them to teach about how to behave and how to have a good personality in order to adapt with their environment. Childhood is a time when children become follower of their parent. Whatever their parents do, they will follow it.

Children spend most of their time in the school so they need to take in charge to teach their student about how to make friends and well-behave in their society. The duty of school not only to teach but also to educate their student.

Although children spend most of their time in school, I think parent still have the biggest responsibilities to create their children to have a good character. By getting involve with their activities and try to be their friend will help parent to have better relationship with their son or daughter.

To conclude, become a good member of communities is not an easy thing. Children need to learn many things from their mother and father also from their teacher in school. However, parent have bigger responsibility to this matter.

Writing Feedback / Summary Article Global Warming Started to Happen In A Long Time Ago [2]

Many people think that global warming is started from 20th century. According to new study from Australian National University which is published by Nature prove that human have been contributing to global warming since mid-nineteenth century. The climate changes are witnessed by people started from 180 years ago. The data which researchers looked for is natural resources such as coral and ice. They have a diagnose that the difference in temperature increase between different geographic locations across the globe to a variety of climate factors including ocean circulation. This is the reason why the temperatures in Arctic rises faster than in Antartica. Although, the contribution of human in greenhouse gas emission bigger in this century than in the past. The higher number of people who do littering and deforestation make the earth warmer than before. If this continue to happen human will begin to feel the worst impact of increasing temperature.

Link : time.com/4461719/global-warming-climate-change-humans/

Writing Feedback / Level of Education of People In Bulgaria who Tend To Leave Their Country [2]

The bar chart elucidates the percentage of people who have plan to leave Bulgaria based on their level of education from 2002 to 2008. Overall, secondary education had the highest percentage to live in other countries for each year while the least was primary and lower education in 2008.

Looking at the details, the highest proportion of all years was secondary education which had percentage more than 50 per cent and it experienced a slight decrease from 65 percent in 2002 to 59 per cent in 2008. Higher education showed a fluctuate trends and had the least number at 9 percent in 2008.

In 2008, primary and lower education rose dramatically and it almost two times higher than in 2002. In the first year, it had 17 per cent and in the last year for about 32 per cent. In 2002 and 2006, higher education and primary and lower education had a slight different number only 1 per cent.

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Writing Feedback / 'Find time for yourself' - The Way To Have Healthy Lifestyle essay - Task 2 [6]

Question : Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

These days, many people do not have a lot of times to work out in a gym or to do sport. It is very hard for them to have healthy lifestyle. However, some of them still can stay healthy although do not have enough times to do it. I believe that there are many ways to keep people's health and it depends on the people itself.

Right now, many people who have jobs which need much times to be finished so that they do not have time to exercise. They spend most of their times in the workplace and comes home late. In the morning, they need to go out for working and in the weekend they will use it to take some rests.

Although they use most of their time to work, they still can have a healthy way of life. By cycling to the workplace means that they are exercising. People also can do exercise in the workplace. For instance, they can do push up or sit up while work or they can use stairs despite the lift.

It does not matter if only little exercising like walking, running, or cycling at least they not sit in the same place for a long time. This way also help them to have better lifestyle. Unhealthy way of life can be a disaster in the future. They can suffer from many diseases after 10 to 20 years later. It is better for them to change their lifestyle.

In conclusion, do not have enough times can not be the reason for people to have bad way of life. They should do exercise each day or at least 2-3 times a week to stay healthy.

Writing Feedback / The number of French and English graduates who found job as a teacher in a big Canadian city [2]

The line graph gives information about the number of fresh-graduate French and English teachers based on the year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

Overall, in the beginning of the period, the number of French and English graduate who found job as a teacher was at the almost same percentage. However, to the end of timeline, both show an opposite trend,french language teachers had a slight increase while the opposite one decreased dramatically.

Looking at the details, in the first two year, english educators experienced a significant decline from 72 per cent to 40 per cent while the proportion of French teachers went down by about 15 per cent before went up to just below 70 per cent. From 2003 to 2005, both of lines had a same pattern. It showed a steady incline but in different levels while French teachers had higher percentage than english teachers.

In the last two years, english educators experienced a noticeable decline and dipped by 14 per cent to 2007. In contrast, the number of employment for those who teach french language rose gradually and reached a peak at 73 per cent which only 3 percent compare with the starting point.

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Writing Feedback / Women Who Were Abused As Children Are Likely to Die Earlier - Summary Article [2]

According to a new research which is published by JAMA Psychiatri said that when children are abuse, it will increase the probability to die earlier. The number of respondent in this research for about 6300 adult men and women and being followed for 20 years study. They asked about the experiences with childhood emotional and physical abuse. As a result, women who reported experiencing abuse as a child were more likely to die from any cause during the 20-year follow up compared to women who did not report being abused. The researcher make a speculation about why abuse highten the risk to death. The think that abuse will lead youngsters to do drugs which can affect their health. Another possibility is mental health issues like depression which can lead to suicide. It is not clear yet why the result different between men and women but they speculate that the differences is in the bilogical responses to stress.

Link : time.com/4455353/child-abuse-stress-death/

Writing Feedback / Summary TED Why By Feeling You Are Ugly Is Bad For You. [3]

Many teenagers think that the appearance will give a big influence in their live. Ten thousands people every month google "Am I Ugly". This leads to depression for teenagers. Most of these teenagers looking for an inspiration from magazine like proana, bikini bridge which use zero size model to be their brand ambassadors. It makes them think that beautiful appearance is by having thin body for women. Most of girls are now choosing not to do something because they don't think they look good enough. They have low self-esteem which lead them to damage their health. People also always judge others by they look not what they are doing. According to the research, the way to change this culture is by their family, friends and relationship. The second way is media and celebrity culture and the last way is working together between government and communities. By doing this, people can encourage teenagers to have positive self-esteem so that they have confidence to do many things in their lives.

Link : ted/talks/meaghan_ramsey_why_thinking_you_re_ugly_is_bad_for_you

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 Wind Turbine Design and The Optimum Location [3]

The diagrams displays how the work of a wind turbine and where the turbine can be placed. Overall, it can be seen that the turbine which has simple design is used to create electricity has four different parts while the optimum location will influence the electricity which is produced.

A wind turbine has four different parts blades, wind sensor, generator, and steel tower. The blades is made from fiberglass or wood. The function of wind sensor is to measure the speed and the direction of the blade. Generator is used to generate electricity which use wind as the substance. Electricity can be produced for about 1.5 megawatts from one generator. A computer which is installed near by wind turbine are connected to wind turbine and has a function to inform sensor adjust blades.

Wind turbine can be placed in a wide landscape which is far from housing. If the turbine is placed in a higher place, the maximum result can be produced because it has maximum wind strength.

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Writing Feedback / These days, many entertainment news report celebrities activities and their private lives. [2]

Question : The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, many entertainment news which report celebrities activities and their private lives. The number of the news is increasing because many viewers which are curious about famous people's lives. However, some people think that this kind of news are not important. It is better to report the lives of ordinary people. I believe that it is better for media to report about ordinary people who can inspire others.

Public figures like singers, actors or footballers always attract many attention of the inhabitant so that many media broadcast their story. Satisfaction of the viewers is the purpose of media to get news. The media will try to find out news which will satisfy fan curiousity. Although, the news are not giving any influence to the watchers life, they still enjoy it.

On the other hand, inspiring people giving much more benefit to others. Their story or behaviour can make others want to change their life to be better or want to follow their path. By airing this kind of news, it will motivate many inhabitants to have passion to change their life.

The main purpose of the media is to entertain the viewers or the readers. However, it is better to inform useful information like healthy lifestyle, story of successful person, and inspiring person than information about the way artists life or their romance story.

In short, i think media has an obligation to educate inhabitant not only entertaining them. If they only provide information of celebrities, this will influence the way of people think and it is bad for them.

Writing Feedback / Summary Article How to Eat More Vegetables And Less Meat in Three Weeks [6]

Reducing intake of animal meat can reduce cholesterol and blood pressure, also it will help to lower the risk to have degenerative disease like heart disease, diabetes mellitus, and cancer. Vegetable will also help to reduce the developing chronic disease. It contains of many nutrients and anti-oxidant which people can not get from meat. However, it is not easy to change meat to vegetable. Jacqueline Andriakos has some suggestions how to increase intake of vegetable and reduce animal protein in 3 weeks. In the first week, try to subtitutes meat to mushrooms, and make the meat only a half portion from the usual portion. In the second week, switch omelet with oatmeal on the breakfast then in lunch try to consume salads with fish, in the dinner reduce consuming fry-foods. In the last week, makes it as a routine. Using savory flavour in order to get better taste, eliminate meat from the dinner, and try to make vegetarian recipe each week.

Link : time.com/4461927/flexitarian-diet-less-meat-more-vegetables/

Writing Feedback / The benefit of becoming a business man or women are greater than being an employee [3]

Question : Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, many people prefer to work in a company or became civil servant than have their own business but now, many inhabitants choose to start up a business. Although there are many obstacles which they face in order to make their business steady. I believe that the benefits of becoming entrepreneur outweigh the drawbacks.

Become a successful entrepreneur is a risky decision. There is a probability that their business can not work well and they can lose much money. Many business man and women who are bankrupt and lose all their properties because many problems which they face. Another disadvantage is they can not get a steady income. Sometimes they get much money but other days they only get a few. On the other hand, working in a company or become civil servant can give them stable income each month.

Even though it has unpredictable result, many people decide to take the risk because they realize that it can open job vacancy to other people. Many inhabitants who do not have work because they do not accept by the companies. By starting own business can help other to get a job and become an owner means that they become a boss. A further advantage is they will have a flexible time for their family. Whenever they want to take a leave, they do not need a permission from their leaders and wait for acceptance letter from head office.

All in all, I think that the benefit of becoming a business man or women are greater than an employee. They can help others, and become a leader also have much time for family.