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Posts by andika08
Name: Andika Irianto
Joined: Sep 13, 2016
Last Post: Dec 1, 2016
Threads: 81
Posts: 80  
Likes: 16
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 161 / page 3 of 5
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andika08   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Wiriting Task 2: Problems associated with the internet and what solutions ? [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Using the Internet is the means used to share information ...
For instance, sales mode online that sellsnot accordance with goods .

Some users complained of feel pain in thecertain ofbody parts, just as which are pain...
... The first, The need for law enforcement with the ...
... while using the Internet for health more than anything.

You have explain the Computers are a lot of benefit in many ways clearly and totally.
You can added introduction in the first paragraph. there is repetition like first, second and the last you can use another words.
andika08   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / TEDx Summary How the Panama Papers journalists broke the biggest leak in history by Gerard Ryle [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Economic controls the world. That first sentence (...) not only a sentence but also it is happened. In this April, the world was surprised by a company of media around (...) myriad firm.which It is create tax pathology ...

It was being thebiggest document investigation in (...) with Wikileaks is more a houndred hundred times.It is dreadful.

You have explain the first sentence and last sentence in the first paragraph clearly and totally.
You can added introduction in the first paragraph.
andika08   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pie charts gives information of survey result in 2005 and 2009 about employee and their bosses [3]

Writing Task 1: relationships at work (2005 and 2009)

The pie charts give information of survey result in 2005 and 2009 by asking employee about their relationshis with their manager and partner workers. Overall, the percentage of respon from relationship between workers and their supervisors also their workers experienced change with the different number.

Relationships with manager in 2005 and 2009 have contrast variation about percentage of respon is very pleasure for working with the manager. Three of employee answer sample rise in a number percentage. The precentage in the amount of respon called very good is 61% and 65% in different years. Beside that the precentage is decrease in the amount of respon called good is 26% and 22%.

On the other hand, Relationships with co-workers in 2005 and 2009 have slightly different about percentage of respon the question. Two of employee answer sample increase in a number percentage. The precentage in the amount of respon called very good is 63% and 70% in the first and last surveys. Meanwhile the percentage is drop in the amount of respon called good is 28% and 25%.




andika08   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary: Richard St. Johnson; 8 traits of success [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

When we people ask about what the meaning of success is , sit can definesuccess is about what you can do. Everything you do now is worth more than not just much money, also not about your aptitude ability, or not even your smartness.

... thousands of success stories from the other another sources, ...
There are eight traits personality for being successful people person have in common.
... is "passion", so you people can love what you do fromstarted from now.
... and make it simple that you just pay attention focus in one thing, not everything.
... of our way to success so that if you can keep forpushing yourself then you will ...
... do not forget to serve other people with your value because ...

You can change the words with another similar word.
andika08   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary: Rory Stewart - Why Democracy Matters [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... often considered to be in the notorious imagerole model.
... have applied this system.inTheir countries are still in the dismal conditions horrible conditions.
... emerge under the democracy?thisis not about the prominent (...) incredible backgroundalso in education (...) elected.butFinally, the problem is why ...
The point about democracy is not instrumental not easy to do.
... due to the benefits that itbringsand a guarantee of peace for the neighbourhood but democracy matters because it reflects thean idea of liberty and dignity (...) the government.

If democracy becomes vigorous strong again, it will be necessarythat no longer (...) to attempt to for trusting the politician but it leads the politician to learn to trust make attention for public.

You can explain more about brings , in the third paragraph.
andika08   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary: Digital advertising: Doesn't ad up [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

This year'sRecently, advertising week event ...
... Google have simply become toovery dominant. In 2015, the pairboth considered for more ...
... to verify some data, but many metricsit is remain proprietary by both of them.
Facebook articulates it will let third parties measure how ...

You can explain more for the digital ads.
andika08   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, young people need guidance from adults. Should they take a job before go to university? [2]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages be for people who do this.


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, young people need guidance from adult. The reason is prevent them from negative effect. They can learn to focus for their future. They have to continue their education which are study at University. It is better than take a job.

The leasure time that student still waiting to enter university. They can go to work and get money from their job. For example, young people work at coffee shop. It make them get many experience to meet people. In addition, they feel good for the job and forget about their education. As far as, the job make them not exited to continue their education. Beside that, the result from their work that can increase the income in family.

On the other hand, student can get a diffucult problem for not doing anything between their free time. For example, they cannot focus for the future. It is better than they prepare to pass university whice are take a course that related from their major also can increasing their ability. It make their time effectively to stay focus on. They can increase their knowledge by many ways which are get many information for studying in university. Therefore, they not fell shocked that first time to enter college. In addition, if they work before enter college it can spent much more time useless in daily activity.

In conclusion, young people should continue their education because it is important for them and people around them. They age is productive to learn and memorize. Education also will raise their status and make them easily to get job.
andika08   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Anthony Goldbloom told his worries about his niece, Yahli, 9 months old. [5]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Anthony Goldbloom told his worries about his niece,...
... awesome professions, which aredoctor and lawyer. But Thus, unfortunately, (...) her college, she will and see a (...) a change inthe most of professions ...
... to accommodate people jobs, such as which are sorting the ...
... sophisticated of machines go far more go further and theresult is a high volume and ...
But Thus, there are some occupations (...) except human, for instance there are several example,which are tackle a novel situation...
So Therefore, Anthony Goldbloom, suggest (...) and what she want to be without be afraid the machineand will take all the ...

You can added conjuction between the line and introduction in the first paragraph.
andika08   
Sep 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The air circulation into and out of the house, resulting in a loss of heat from inside the house [2]

The diagram below shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.

Summarise the information by reporting the main features and make comparisons where appropriate


The diagram illustrate about circulation of air in the house. It is make effect of using tools inside the house. The effect can produce heat weather.

The house consist of bathroom fan vent, plumbing stack vent, kitchen fan vent, electrical outlet, dryer vent and outdoor faucet. There are different type of cycle air. Air leaking out the house through bathroom fan vent, kitchen fan vent and attichatch. The others is air leaking ino the house with access from electrical outlet, dryer vent and outdoor faucet. Turning the location which the heat wheather is result for using the tools that provide energy. For example, washing machine and kutchen stove. While there are several ventilation holes and small gap between rooms. In other part there is light from above kitchen that other factor for produce heat weather. The upper house have many spot than bottom house. In contrast, many tools in house that produce energy make the athmosphere inside the house different with outside house that can reduce by holes around it.
andika08   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary of TEDx How women wage conflict without violence [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... gender are all ears is like some long-life ballads, itnever have an ending. On the way reducing of conflict withoutviolent, a woman who a (...) women can wage conflict without violence. Bacha was start tomake filmingindaily life of Palestine women in Budurs that her can campaign non-violence movement without thought.

A concreate of that the data was (...) in Palestine, in there there is a great deal ...
These women did 10-month unarmednot holding a weapon andstruggle for hold back ...
Bacha does not believe with women are that more peaceful than ...
Finally,that's the reason why Bacha (...) shared into the today's wWorld eyes.

You can added introduction in first sentence.
There are repeated words, you can change with similar words.
andika08   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Camille A.Brown represents people who love to dance [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Camille A. Brown, has a job asa choreographer, educator ...
... required to move the body. Next,which is mostly accompanies with musical instrumental such as which are guitar, ...
But However, the real meaning (...) legs and arms,. It can be for the dancers, especially (...), dance is a language, alsoa way to show their freedom, ...

... about moving the body.It is also about the creative identity. Some examples For instance, of social dances are (...)bee's knees and so on . Peoples make a group and connection ...

You can added introduction in first sentence.
There are repeated words, you can change with similar words.
andika08   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Dealing with people is the most important aspect in a job, comparing to other communications skills [2]

The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their job

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent


The table gives information about the result of two surveys in 1997 and 2006. Overall, communication skills which essential are in the job is dealing with people it comes from external part and listening carefully to colleagues it comes from internal part.

In 1997 the percentage of dc about 60 percent. After six years the percentage increased by 5%. On the other hand, in 1997, selling a product or service about 24%. It is the lowest percentage in the external part. Next, in 2006 the percentage decrease by 3%.

However, in 1997 the percentage of listening carefully to colleagues about 38% and experienced to rise by 9%. This is the highest percentage in internal part. Meanwhile, in 1997 making speeches or presentations about 7%. It is the lowest percentage in the internal part. Finally, in 2006 the percentage rised by 3%. The trend of the two parts in communication have an increased percentage in the next year.




andika08   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article : Biggest radio telescope on Earth ready to receive alien signals [3]

The largest radio telescope in the world is located in China. It is look like Five-hundred-metre Aperture Spherical Telescope that start to observe on outer space.

This tool is located in the remote mountainous areas of Guizhou Province in Southwest China, which can help to protect peoples from interference of radio waves, which are signals sent by a mobile phone and Wi-Fi.

Construction began in 2011, spurred the relocation of a small village. The telescope can go through stages of testing and improvement before full operation began, according to the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

The telescope, named for the size of this tool is about 200 meters wider than the rival, the Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico, built in the early 1960.

That means that it will be able to see fainter objects from Arecibo telescope also the function can detect, said Michael Nolan at University of Arizona in Tucson

To avoid problems in this tool, FAST mirror panels and receivers designed to move directly, allowed scientists to create a bowl-shaped parabolic pointing at any part of the sky under observation.
andika08   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary; Sandra Aamodt: Why dieting doesn't usually work [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Many have tried various kinds of diets but ...
If you people want to get yourperfect body weightideal body, they can started from now,.you people should give up dieting arrange their meal, stop worrying about your weight and eat mindfully. well-organized.

... system working to keep your their weight stable as ...
Therefore, It will respond to the weight loss toalso push your their body back to what normally. It is considered normal which means when you people are fat or thin, your their brain still react ...

... a successful dieting doesn't not lower your set point.
Other way,give yourself permission enable to eat as much as you people want, and then work on figuring out find out information ...
Next,sit down to regular meals without distractions.
feels when you people start to eat and when ...

who you mention about the various kinds of diets, you can explain it.
andika08   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Alaa Murabit, a young Muslim woman, highlights her experiences and participates in peace processes [5]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... the UN Secure.sheShe works to amplify the voices of women andalsoto highlight experiences.andWhile, participation in peace processes and conflict resolution, and she recognizes that the only ...

It gives her the strength and conviction to ...
In 2012 and 2013, her organization led the single largest and most ...
She discussed taboo issues, likewhich aredomestic violence.

There is a repeated word, you can change the similar word. (and,she)
andika08   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The heartbreaking education system condition in a state of India, Hariyana [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

People usually have mindset idea that it is almost impossible ...
... with 2 millions student and her journey with her ...
... a great deal of ideas, on the other hand that, they must put more ...
On the other hand, they decided to determine (...) and then several idea (...) achieve the purpose were picked.
Because However, it is because of the limited budget, they should ...
Finally, they found an alternative solution ...
... to make an interesting lesson, so the learning activity ...

You have to explain more detail in the line six and added introduction in the first paragraph.
andika08   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Two billion people, at least in America, India and Southern East Asia, learn English worldwide [4]

TED Summary : The world's english mania

The topic for this is mania. Many aspect people get form Media. People can see the news update which are they love about something, it can make people feel crying and screaming. There are several ways to express the something people like, which are supporters from football offer their favourite clubs.

In addition, the other thing which are mania about religion. Make people close enough to God. For example, mania can be good, also can be endanger also can be deathly.

The world has many mania about something which are learning english, listening chinese student practice their english by screaming to something.
How many people learning english worldwide?
2 billion of them, at least in America, India and Southern East Asia. Most of all in China. If you live in china that you must studied from 3 grade. In the future china will be the largest english speaking country.

Why english?
On othe hand, there are many aspect which are opportunity for better life, a job, to be able the favourit school. The people in china studied 12 a day for three years. 25% of their grade is based on english language. Intensity of learning english is an almost In the city.

However, english mania affected which are good or bad, english is world second languages part of the wider conversation, a global conversation which are climate change,hunger disease and universal language. English is language of problem solving because it can communicate and unify with the others. English represent hope for better future.
andika08   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary of TED The secret, social lives of bacteria (Bonnie Bassler) [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

they They are single cell with ...
they They can conducted complex biological mechanism including which are replication...
They play important roles They became a vital role to human being such as which are, digest food, ...
moreover In addition, they can defend ...
even so Although, they also have many bad ...
according According to Bonnie Bassler, An American ...
the Next, the way to infect and penetrate human ...
The big question is how they can regulate their social live ?. the preliminary hypothesis is ...
this This circumstance had been examined ...

You can added an introduction in the first paragraph.
You can explain more spesific in the three last sentences.
andika08   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / In modern era, there are many ways to keep body healthy. It depend on the people [3]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


In modern era, there are many ways to keep body healthy. It depend on the people who want to stay fit. For example, in the office peoples can do some exercise at the free time. Although the others prefer to stay for doing nothing.

The office workers have little time because of their job in every day. It can effect for their healthy that they just sitting every time. In addition, they also find the fast food rather than nutrition foods, because the fast food more delicious than healthy foods. The taste is salty. Subsequently, they prefer using escalator than stairs. It make their body not produce sweat because they do less activities. Next, people use their cars instead of walking to arrive in the work office.

In other hand, employee can use their separate time to do many exercise. It can effect for their healthy nd focus. However, They can bring packed meal which are the nutrition foods, such as fresh fruits and vegetables that contain less oil and flavourin. Next, they can go to sport centre and make schedule to exercise because it is important. Although, it is look harder but if the people do the activities regularly, they can keep their body healthy. In addition, they can choose to walk instead using vehicle because it make their body be active.

Recently, i think many peoples have plan about their activity which are doing exercise but in fact they just need good start. If people can do it regularly, they can want to do it again.

In conclusion, for being healthy it is difficult because there are many way to reach that. People just need healthy lifestyle become habit. Unfortunately, the people think it is difficult to get fit, in fact it can be very easy.
andika08   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary --- Bill Gates: Teachers need real help, need a coach. [5]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Let's start by asking who is ...
So thus, I look to the countries where (...) see what they do to help their teachers improve improve their teacher ability.
Let's look at the places with ...
They made sure the junior teachers got ...
They have weekly study groups where
They even requires each teacher to ...

So Therefore, we people need a system that ...
... who are teaching and assessing alsohow the teachers teach. And Next, we people found very interesting.
So Thus, we people know the questions ...
... of these students is a diagnostic toolthat is very useful for (...) show sidesthat they can fix to improve teaching which are strategies, teaching methodologies, ...

You can use another words in the repeated words.
You can explain what the interesting part in second paragraph at line four.
andika08   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article: Staying up late, the healthy way [2]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

The night activity such as which are study for the ...
The people who keen to stay up late are more likely attacked with some health problems can be attacked healthy problem.
... a day and change it the activity in the night to awake. There are so many ways to stay up late with the healthy ways.

Also, Therefore, consuming snack can (...) but only for a it's a different the snack that ...
Although,The other ways to healthy stay up ...

You have to explain the type of way to stay up late more spesific.
you can added the introduction in the first paragraph.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary : Teach every child about food [7]

Causes of death, people need revolution for make them healthy like usual. Food revolution need for better future, because of the food many teenagers suffer an obesity. It made them cannot go anywhere. In addition, there is a massive problem that many places provide fast food. For example, the food like pizza. The food is not fresh, because of the time many student eating non-healthy foods at every time which are early morning, afternoon and night. Many children do not know about kinds of vegetables and fruit. They can be taught from home or school. Small children should drink two bottles of milk before going to school. There are some materials that are worse as much sugar in there. There are other foods that contain much sugar. Sugar can effect longer if children always drink it, just form milk the impact for the future become dangerous. People need fresh foods with dishes made from home. While, with the help of government by limiting refined products fast food, it would be good for the future.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / GRE argument writing issue - censoring internet at workplace [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... Climpson Industries should be impelement electronic tools ...
Although, the argument may seem convincing ...

Also thus, it is possible that they just ...

... concrete evidence.that It shows the time ...
... that the longer the employee works, the ...
But Therefore, there are many know research ...
Also Thus, there are (...) affecting productivity, like which are time-consuming (...) monitoring would make be made.

... the adopting monitoring will be broughtbring the profic as suggested.
... buy the tool and hgher higher new employee to ...
... that the expenses overweightthatthe income.which It is expected with monitoring.
... deduce that Climps will beprofit by monitoring ...

You can added introduction and conclucion in the first and last paragraph.
you can change the repeated words with the similar words.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / The grade of school of Bulgarian students who were anxious to leave their country and stay abroad [2]

The chart shows the grade of school of Bulgarian student who be anxious to leave and stay in abroad in 2001, 2006 and 2008.
The greatest grade for student who live abroad is the category of secondary education. The percentage of people in this domination is 65% in 2002. A percentage of student in 2006 have little differences at 4 %. However, only 59% of the category in 2008.

The most grade for student about primary and lower education is thirty two percent in 2008. A percentage in the 2006 have 19% also in 2008 there is slightly differences at 1%.

Significant percentage seen in the last category about higher education have lowest percentage at 9%. Student in 2006 have the highest percentage at 20%. On the other hand, in 2002 have number percentage at 17%.

In conclusion, all the group experience the same categories to some extent, the domination about secondary education have the higgest percentage from the others.




andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / To become a good citizen or benefit students as individuals [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

. It is more significant (...) individuals, . h However, in my view, ...

Firstly, governments allocated a proportion of financial (...) to become good people attitude in the societies, (...) one day they will becontributed back to society.
... citizens that will bebeco ame villains and rob ...
... basic ethical concepts.so Thus, that they will be not become became bad people in the future.
..., students would bebenefit them most if they ...
And it would belead to economic for governments.

... to find out what characteristicsthat they have and what sorts ...

... university subject.Itis most suitable to me.

You can added introduction in the first paragraph.
You can change the similar words with the another one.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is no doubt that talented individual lives sophisticated lives, and some of them are overpaid. [5]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... talented individual lives sophisticated lives with the modern way. While, some people argue that they have been overpaid.
... and in this essay, I will supported my view with the examples.

... fan following of the peoples, they pay huge amount to ...
... and TRP of that showed is highly rated.
... a common man cannot affordable and resulting in economic ...

To illustrate this, profession like which are Teaching, ...
The reason for this,is, people who are teacher, ...
... of their country and its this people should earn get more income tocompare to with the others.

Maybe there is a word repeated, you can use similar word to change it.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / EILTS Writing Taks 1 : Summeries' Environment Impacts of Loging [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

The disanvantage disadvantage of loging is which are habitats loss,...
Not only that but also On other hand, nutrients and ...

... the trees in the rainforest can be canopy covered which avoid rain ...
So thats However, that way, the healthy (...) growth as well as before. And fromFor example, aquatic life form, the plants (...) oxygen in the water as well as before as usual.

Eventually, we people have to make the forest...

You can added introduction and conclucion in the first and las paragraph.
andika08   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Resume : Janet Iwasa: How animations can help scientists test a hypothesis [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... a small objects as objects of research and must (...) it difficult to seen, even with the ...
Rapid technology change tospurred encourage researchers to modernize their research for improve their research.
... they use is animation which .
s]aAnimation is a really nice way to ...

... and the data is very much the need to use the computers...
... obtain satisfactory results, we people have to collaborate ...
it It can change the way we people communicate, how we people examine the ...

There are repeated words, you can change with the similar words.
You can added conjuction in between the sentences.
andika08   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job really enjoy? WRITING TASKS 2 - IELTS [2]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factore are more important.

Do you think that people can nly be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?


The necessities of life over the years has increased, especially the cost. Costs can be searching by worked. From the results of people working can earn a lot of money to completed their necessity. The money can be used also for luxuries which are watching our favorite games and staying at a resort.

Therefor, due to people hobby that makes money that they get two advantages. First, the hobby and money make profit. For example, becoming a football player, actor, singer. They do it because it can usefulfor their activity. Actually, many people who prefer this way. Thus, people can do whatever that they wants. Inhabitans can spent their time with living into the standards above the average. Although, people will not be satisfied with it and continue to find a happiness.

On other hand, pleasure not always about money, but there are people who get pleasure from other factors. For example, they can find another people that nee some help around them. Thus, people do small things but often which are exercising, listening to music, hanging out with many friends. That effect will be effected with the others people and give feedback too. It can useful for them to communicate each others. Next, simplicity would be made their life different.

In conclusion, depending on each person personally about their pleasure but mostly people prefer to find their happiness from wealth. Some people are still able to life with simple thing. Thus they enjoyed their life. For most people, other factors are far more important.
andika08   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is our responsibility to the earth to solve the climate crisis [4]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

As a human, we people should be more concerned about this matterpaymore attention to this matter , we people need to be united and begin to put efforts to resolve the damage nature. As the most steps we people have to do is to changed our their behavior to be more environmentally friendly in every single activity. The following steps are Then, people in the world should becontributed to the certain steps to confront the climate crisis, such as which are, organize responses,...

... action to save the earth, it shown of the data in last ...
Such disruptions are not only happened in developed country, the ...
It can be obviously seen aspects that the use of emissions ...
Finally,He was assured that (...) are believe and constantly.Then, put their best efforts to change ...

Maybe there are several words are used twice, so you can change with the similar words.
You can divided sentences because it is too long.
andika08   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Hawaii islands are one of interesting places to visit because of their original culture [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... because they have originally culture and beautifully landscape to see.
... is an entertainment that usually we people watched in the television.
... and modern Hula that we people can see today.
Because of that Thus, Hawaiian organized a cultural ...
Finally,The festival called the Merrie Monarch ...

You can added conclusion in the other of sentences.
Maybe there are several words are used twice, so you can change with the similar words.
andika08   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Every person has take the control and responsibility for the type of life that he wants to lead. [4]

TED Summary : How to make work-life balance work

Nigel Marsh has ben having seven years experienced with studying and writing about worklife balance. First, progeress is most important to use effectively time with familiy. Second, government and corporation became the most important elements. They have solution for this issue for us. Every person has take the control and responsibility for the type of life that they want to lead. If you don't design your life, someone will take the control from others people. Although people need the idea to balance. Its particularly important, that people never put the quality of their life in other hand of the commercience proportion. Third, carefully with the limit time as a friend that people choose. Thus, detail step by step that description ideal balance. Approach the way in the balance purpose, that small things matter being more interesting effect for dramatically to the people in their life. With the smallest investasion in the right place people can get many aspects which are transform quality relationship and life.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Hans Rosling took on the task to teach global development for an undergraduate student. [5]

TED Summary : Debunking third-world myths with the best stats you've ever seen

Hans Rosling, he took on the task to teach global development for undergraduate student. He having spending about 20 years at african institute. Has country the highest children mortality? he put them together for the compare the data, so each of country has twice chance mortality for the others. It is bigger of the different uncertainty of data. When he was compared the result, it has differented that result came from many countries. For the example, he put facilities surroundings, number per children per woman, 1-8 since 1962 in all families from all country. Industrial country have a small country and long life. Although, developing country have large country and short life. The slide show illustrate about the increase over the years. However, we don't look just in the data, we find something unusual that chance in asia which one of the reason from the social or economical chance. Another data came or income from people in the world. A new dimensional from social value. For example, huge development variation in Africa, South Asia but different with Afganistan etc. Finally, we have databases to linking the data, produce animation, liberate and search function.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, an individual can access information easy, because there is the Internet. [2]

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In modern era, technology is computer network which connected to all of the world. Internet is role for the communicate media. It can apply to each person for the daily activites. For example, they use the internet for collect information.

In the past, people get information from the specific area like library. Then, there were books available. Thus, person can increase their konwledge. However, it is spent more time to go there. For example, people must find the books that related to their job. Therefore, it make them read more until the end of the books and remember about the subject also make a summary. On other hand, the books can find hardly cause they must to bought or borrow. Then, there are a few people who sold the books.

Nowadays, individual can access information with easily, because there are an internet. The easiest way for people to finished their daily routines. For example, employment who need the information about their job also college student which do their task. They do not have to find book, because people just use internet and get that they need. People can collect many information. It useful for them to find work. In contrast, it changed people lives that they prefer to stayed at home because they can browse latest news for every days.

Overall, I think there is an internet make different existence for people. When people get many information easily it will be make their life. Finally,this is significant to be better life.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / EILTS Writing Taks 1 Origin of Writing in some Place [7]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Ancient tribe believed that original hand writing was started from a thausand thousand years ago. Such as Thus, Egyptians who believe that their god.There were some figuers which areThoth was the ...

Then,That's way Mayan, people who...
... writing was found approximately 1500 B.C. The featuresis called oracle bone script ...

You can using similar word.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Bastian Schaefer: What do we know about future? Difficult question, simple answer: nothing. [4]

He continued that we can not predit the future and ...
Then,Ideas always grow appear in our humanmind as a human . What However, imagined people in ...

... designed an ocean plane.Next, the future ...
... dream didn't come true but we people can make it better (...) which we they have, the Airbus 1380. So Thus, we people have created our vision aba out more sustainable future of aviation.

Finally,Let's compare the ...
So Therefore, the aircraft designed for the future (...) and sustainable that we people never imagineimagined before.

you can subtitute with the other sentence.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The public transportation is very important for people in metropolis. Major Subways of Europe [3]

Rapid population growth Growing population rapidly has (...) which can cause very serious problems problems like what?.
... busiest subway in Europe whichare in London, ...
It used "cut and cover" methods meaning the streets were dug ....
Paris started todesigning subway system in 1900.
w Whereas London's subway was famous ...
The subway's stations are decorated with which are mosaics, ...
The Moscow Metro, based on according the design of the London ...

Maybe you use too many repetations,
you can added conjuction before sentences.
you can explain more about the methods.
you can added conclusion.
andika08   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Iconic dishes set the scene for RI culinary tourism (Summarize) [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Therefore, it leads to numerous of traditional diets.
According to the Minister, the 30 most 30scrumptious meal in Indonesia ...
Thismean, meals also will be prepared to ...
For example, there areWilliam Wongso, Bondan (...) expert in Indonesia that joined the group.
..., so Ministry will bemake made cooperation to help this magnificent ...

Maybe you can use similar word because too many repetations.
yyou can added introduction and conclusion.
andika08   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / According to Snowden, the right to privacy of data is not a political issue. [4]

TED Summary : How We Take Back the Internet

Shown from a distance using a robot, Edward Snowden spoke about surveillance and internet freedom. The right to privacy of data, according to him is not a political issue, but people need to rethink fundamentally what the role of the internet in our lives and the laws that protect them.

Thus, many aspects from the internet which are kind of internet people want, the kind of relationship between people and society. After that Consultant NSA provides an example of the NSA's activities include eavesdropping and security. NSA intercepts to including which are telephone, Internet communications, radio communications, and other communications that can be tapped.

One thing can people do is being together to solved the problem through the government.
Boundless informant is hidden by NSA program from Congress which already implemented.

Therefore, even companies that cooperated with the NSA, which at least compelled to do legally, the NSA is not satisfied with it, and finally, people need the companies to working hard. It has ensured that they will be represented to the interests of users, and also supports rights user.
andika08   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / TECHNOLOGY HAS CHANGE THE WAY OF WORK [3]

Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... had invented, it hastotally changes the way ...
... especially the internet; however,internet, fax, and mobile phone ...

The uses of technology which are internet, fax, (...) makes human being broaden their knowledge knowledgeable without limit.
This change As times ges by remodel the ...
... had felt those advantages as well as they can work or manage (...) from their home as long as they have internet access ...
So Thus, they can allocated their irreplaceable time for relatives.

you can change (so) with thus or therefore.
there are a repetation words (as...as).
maybe you can divided by two sentences.

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