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Posts by Anna94
Name: Nur Hasanah J
Joined: Oct 25, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 47
Posts: 56  
Likes: 3
From: Indonesia
School: State University of Makassar

Displayed posts: 103 / page 2 of 3
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Anna94   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The types of things purchased in five regions of the world in 2002 is provided by the table [4]

The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The percentage of types of things that were used and were spent by five regions in the world in 2002 is provided by the table. Overall, Turkey was the most country that spent three categories of items. Food, drink, and tobacco were the largest items, which were spent by five countries.

At the beginning, Turkey plateaued at 32.14 percent in spending food items. Then, Ireland was the second larger country that consumed 28.91 percent at those things. It was followed by three other countries (Italy, Spain, and Sweden) consumed the things below 20%.

Italy hit a highest number in using clothing or footwear at nine percent. Then, the percentage of Sweden was the lowest at 5.40. Next, Ireland, Spain and Turkey got the same number of wearing fashions at around six percent.

The figure of Turkey in spending time for pleasure and education reached 4.35 percent. There were two countries got the same number at approximately 3.20 percent that were Italy and Sweden. This was followed by Ireland that stood at 2.2%. However, Spain spent the least time at 1.98% only. 181w



  • table
Anna94   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / People have trouble to explain the meaning of happiness [2]

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

We always hear many people decide an objective to their life is to be success, which success actually brings an important key of life that is happiness. However, people are difficult to explain the meaning of happiness is. In contrary, they know the aspects to attain the happiness. Further, this essay will discuss the topics.

People ambitious are to be bliss, but when they are asked about happiness, they are dazed to explain it. This because many aspects can make people happy, even it is out of their expectation such as an unexpected simple thing. For instance, a beggar asks a woman's money, but a woman just gives him a piece of bread she has. Then, the beggar is gratitude and smile instead of it is out of his expectation. Therefore, cheerfulness is being hard to give a meaning, because it can be from a little thing that surprises us, but makes us to be grateful and have a good feeling.

Besides, there is an objective to achieve happy things and it is influenced by some factors. In my view, one of them is attaining success. As an example, an IELTS catcher has learnt IELTS in formal course for three months. However, he has not achieved his score target. So, he forced himself to learn more over six months in his home before taking a real test. He finally got 6.5 of score then he was very happy and being grateful, even his aim was seven. It proves that having a good production of effort makes someone is happy.

In conclusion, cheerfulness is the important thing that people aim in the life. It can be source from a simple thing which people are hard to elucidate. Moreover, accomplishing a successful thing can give people a happy life. 297w
Anna94   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happiness is a magic which is very hard to describe [2]

Hello,

For instance, a business man (it can be connected ) who has many companies never feel (fell ) happy, but he feel (feels) worry to get ...
In contrast, a poor man (possessive》 poor man's life) life happily even he does not have (a) big house ...

... and do not have (a) conflict

Gluck:D
Anna94   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happiness is an abstract thing that cannot be measured. [6]

HELLO,

Happiness can affect onsociety [possessiveness >> society's health ] health and related to life expectancy [you may use "expectation"] of inhabitants.
People feel alive when they [are ] happy, joy, or delightful.

Some people believe, happiness is [...] people argue that happiness is wealth...

I do not find " Why is it difficult to define?" since you tend to explain "why happiness difficult to find"

... University, Robbert Waldinger that discovered study ...

... and resulted surprising fact. >> it is better to use present perfect tense
The research has been held for 75 years and has resulted surprising fact.

... of people happiness, [the first/ firstly] first is have an intimate relationship

Since close relationshipeffect [affect ] to people health ...

... which affect to all of aspects in our life.

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is good for young people to work before going to university to enrich their skill and experience [2]

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Normally, many young people continue their study after graduate from high school. However, in some regions in the world before graduate students go to university, they are urged to work and travel for a year. This idea has some advantages and disadvantages and this essay will discuss the notion.

Young people who have job after graduate from high school will learn how to manage their time better than before. Because we all know, that work world has certain regulation that has to be followed by employees. They will get some advantages like experiences itself and time management ability than ordinary university students. For instance, young people who have worked as sales will know more how to count marketing results and its profit. Their knowledge about marketing is also more than others' knowledge. They will be fast to understand because they have experienced it. Moreover, if they work in other city, it will train them to be independent people who can manage their life without depending on their parents.

However, some disadvantages will be experienced by graduate student when they postpone their study at university like when they getting convenience work will make them to think again to continue their study after a year work experience. Taking an example in my friend, she has worked after she finished her study at high school. Her job brings a high salary above standard of UMR, but her mother wants her has a university degree. Nevertheless, my friend do not want to continue her study since she thinks that she has been lucky working at good and convenience job, while after university it will end to find job again. She also thinks that her university friends have young age than hers, which it is not comfortable for her. So, it will be one reason to do not to continue their study at university.

To sum up, it is good for young people to work before going to university to enrich their skill and experience. However, convenience job sometimes maintain graduate high school students to continue working then study at university. 346w
Anna94   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Which way a cargo were delivered in UK in the 28 years timeframe? [5]

Hello,

... how much goods [were ] distributed by various ...
... tonnes of goods [were ] distributed by road ...
... transportation with the pipeline is [was ] the lowest among others.

stabled [was stable ] at around 60 while ...
In 2002, distribution of wateris [was ] higher than ...

Gluck
Anna94   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of the quantity of goods transported (unit in million tonnes) in Britain [2]

Hello,

... (unit in million tonnes) in British [Britain , British is the residents of Britain ] between 1974 and 2002 based on four difference [different ] method is ...
... while pipeline shows [showed ] the lowest proportion ...

After getting [the ] same number in 1978,

... road illustrated [an ] upward trend and ...

Gluck
Anna94   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Our stuff is transported in various ways. Which method was the most common between 1974 and 2002? [3]

The line graph provides information about four types of transport that delivered things in the UK from 1974 to 2002. Overall, it can be seen that delivered objects by road was the most used while using pipeline was the lowest during the period.

To start with, in 1974 the number of materials transported by road stood at 70 million tonnes. It was followed by using of rail, water, and pipeline in serial. Four years later, using road was a slight increase in almost 80 million tonnes. Then, water and rail reached the same quantity of goods to deliver by 40. However, pipeline was stable at the same number. Between 1982 and 1986, the number of objects was contained by pipeline increased to around 20. Delivering by road and water experienced declining and inclining in serial. However, transporting rail was stable.

Between 1990 and 2002, conveying things used four kinds of transport increased generally. Road was a dramatic incline from 80 to almost 100 million tonnes. Water and rail went up from 60 and just under 40 to 70, and over 40 respectively. Nevertheless, water ever fell to 50 in 1998 and rail to 30 in 1994. Then pipeline experienced stable of goods quantity after reached a peak at over 20 in around 1994. 211w




Anna94   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are four steps to yield a cement, while to produce concrete, one stage only is required [4]

The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams provide information about producing cement from some materials and concrete-making process from cement. Overall, there are four steps to yield cement while to produce concrete need one stage only.

First of all, prepare the equipment and materials to make cement such as, limestone, clay, heat, bags, and grinder. There are tools like crusher, mixer, rotation heater, and grinder. The process is begun with refine the limestone and clay by using crusher. It will produce limestone and clay powder. Then the powder will be mixed by mixer. Afterwards, it let into rotating heater to produce heat materials. Then the matter is crushed by grinder to yield cement. Bags are used to contain the cement.

Cement can be the main material to make concrete. Concrete-making process use other materials with certain measurements like 10 percent of water, 25 percent of sand, 15% of cement, and the high percentage of small stones named gravel as much as 50. Then they are mixed by using concrete mixer. Then, it will result some concrete. 171w
Anna94   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Higher crime rate over time makes several countries imposing fixed punishment to reduce that [4]

HELLO

Now days [nowadays or may say over time ], criminality is the ...
... best way to reduce [the] crime rate.
... and circumstance of crime is [are ] the essential ...

... by the time make[S ] several countries ...

... from her father who want[ED ] to rape [HER ].
... about her before judgement [judgment ], and the judges ...

GLUCK
Anna94   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Before deciding a punishment, judge have to evaluate conditions which influenced the committed crime [2]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
.


Statue of each country has regulated each punishment for every criminal case and people believe that it should be applied. Nevertheless, some people say before deciding a punishment, a judge have to evaluate the condition of suspects and the reason of doing it.

Deciding a punishment to the suspects is hard due to certain condition influences it. However, I think that a judge have to follow constitutional law about the fixed punishment. For instance, a man killed his wife because of jealous, and the evidence was a bloody knife. Based on the criminal law, it included a planned murder, which a suspect has to be punished with a lifelong imprisoned punishment. So, there should not be negotiated to lighten the punishment like only ten years of imprisoned. Because the constitutional law has been considered before it decided and the evidence had disclosed. Therefore, it should be applied to intimidate people in criminal cases.

Punishment is decided based on the evidences. However after revealed the evidences, Investigator always investigate the background why the depravity case happens. It leads to the circumstances of the suspect and motivation for committing the crime. Nevertheless, both of the reasons do not often influenced a judge decide a punishment to the suspects. Since, sometimes the certain case is difficult to force open the criminal background clearly. For instance, last year, there was child murder in Bali named Angeline. The suspects were Margareth, her foster mother and Agus Thay, her house cleaner. The evidences were clear, but the condition of an individual crime and the motivation of murder did not appear exactly to support of the real murder. Their opinion also contradicted each other. So, it made polices were hard to determine who the real murderer. Therefore, it is hard, if both of conditions become the reason to decide a punishment since every side can make up the story become real.

To sum up, fixed punishment has to be applied wisely to make people wary of doing crime that injure other people. Besides, evaluating the circumstances and the criminal background are important to know. However, it cannot be the main reason to affect the giving of punishment. 343w
Anna94   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The total cost which particular school in UK spent for its necessities during 30 years. [3]

This three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001

The three pie charts inform about the total cost which particular school in UK spent for its necessary during 30 years. Overall, teacher's wages were the highest school's money spent for, and insurance was the lowest funding by the school.

In 1999, school must give as much 40% of total fund to pay teacher's salaries. The second larger was other worker's salaries of 18%. However, resources and furniture had the same cost as to be paid by 15 percent. Then, insurance was disbursed just below 2%.

Ten years later, fund allocation for teacher's salaries increased to 50%. However, the percentage of other employee's commissions fell to 20. Then, necessity of books rose by 5%. Furniture and insurance only paid for fewer than 5 percent from total of money.

In the following year, school must pay the fees of teachers and other employees were lower than before by declining around 5 percent. Resources like books dramatically decreased to 9%. Nevertheless, furniture and insurance needed 23 and 6 percent of funding respectively. 169w



  • pie charts
Anna94   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Petrol price is not the best way to solve traffic jam and air contamination issue [2]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?


The big problem that is faced by the most cities now is traffic crowded and the existence of vehicles induced pollution problems. Both of the problems give bad effect to society and our world. Therefore, some people say that increasing the price of petrol is the best solution to reduce the problems. I totally disagree about the notion, since I think that increasing the cost of tax to ownership vehicle is a better solution.

The expensive of petrol cost do not answer the problem of traffic jam and emission in the city by that will encourage inhabitant desiring for buying private transport. Because improving fuel cost will improve the cost of public transport, which people prefer thinking to buy private vehicles to reduce the amount of money they have to spend. For instance, in my city, every improvement the amount of fuel, the amount of cost public transportation will improve. That case does not reduce the number of transportation that affect the crowded on the road. A month later, most motorcycle with new license numbers enliven the road. So, I think there is another way to solve this problem.

In my view, increasing of tax is more effective than increasing the fuel cost. Because it will make people thinking twice before they buy a vehicle. People, who do not have transportation tools, do not involve paying tax. So, it is expected to urge people use public transportation than private transportation. The impact is the number of vehicles in the roadway lower than before, and it affects the amount of greenhouse gases that is produced by transportation.

All in all, improving the amount of tax which people have to pay is more effective than increasing the cost of fuel. Since, the expensive of petrol incite people to buy private car/motorcycle that will be more increase the compactness clogging and the higher vehicles; the higher emission will be yielded to cause pollution. 320w
Anna94   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Big traffic of cars makes congestion and pollution, so high petrol price is the best way to solve it [2]

Hello,

...the number of cars butthe ???

... from people because they cannot (could not) buy a petrol but ...
That is the reason why increasing petrol is not only the way to reduce the emission and congestion in many cities.

On the other hand, traffic jam and pollution... (contrast with your introduction, why you did not add this at the introduction )
Japan's inhabitant(S) are always using ...

..., increasing the fuels prices is not only way to ...

gluck:D
Anna94   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Forbidding people driving or riding vehicles one by one is the best way to solve pollution problem [3]

Hello,

... percentage of transportation people in the several ...
... about this statements,I think there are another way to solve this problem.《 it is better if you emphasize and write your idea here to continue your disagreement

Traffic and pollution problems are increase (increasing ) every year.
... be doing by governmentis (WAS) increasing the price of petrol. And people said (that) this was the best way to solve traffic and pollution. But I think there was(IS) important way to (...), which wereare decreasing of driving (...) motorcycle by one peopleperson .

Making the price of petrol highestimproving the price of petrol is not best way,(it is better to put fullstop here) it is just have.

If just make price of petrol more ...《 ( what is your solution? If you do not agree, you must give your solution )

All in all, making the price petrol is higher than before do not best way to decrease of traffic and pollution problem. But forbid people driving or riding vehicles one by one is the best way.


Gluck;)
Anna94   
Nov 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The traffic jam and highly emissions of exhaust fumes are the crucial problems in big cities [3]

Hello,
... price of petrol can be theone's (one of or just say one ) solutions of (...) and emissions problems today especially in big cities.
What other measures do you think might be effective?emphasize this question

Moreover, the people needs for studying or ...
..., automatically make it had (HAS) been the ...
Not few people feelto be exhaust with their activities.
... productivities in works and studies had been influenced too.

... becomes wider than recent or cantomake some ...
... as the greening actions for reduces (reducing ) emissions in the big cities.
Gluck
Anna94   
Nov 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Were customers satisfied using services from nation's major airlines in 1999, 2000, and 2007? [3]

The chart and table below show customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000 and 2007.

The bar chart provides information about how satisfy customers used the service from nation's major airlines in 1999, 2000, and 2007. The table shows several factors that affected customers' satisfaction of the flying experience. Overall, passengers' satisfaction had an upward trend during the period. Courtesy of the flight attendant was the most aspect that affected customers' convenience. There was an upward trend too in each aspect each year.

To start with, there was 65% of satisfaction level of passenger using the airlines and the dissatisfaction reached 32% in 1999. In the following year, passengers 'convenience increased to 60% while the inconvenience decreased to 29%. The percentage of the customers' happiness peaked at 72. It was followed by declining of unhappiness to 24 percent in 2007.

There were five aspects that affected passengers' satisfaction of the flying experience based on Gullup polls. Satisfaction of customers was mostly influenced by courtesy of flight attendant between 1999 and 2007 from 88 to 92 percent. The third larger factor was ticket prices that increased by 20% during the period. Courtesy of check-in agents and flight schedules had the insignificant number of changing which the increasing number around 1-2 percent each year. The comfort seat did not influence mood of passenger in 1999 and 2000. However, in 2007, it had 47% of satisfaction level. 219w



  • table and chart
Anna94   
Nov 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children Have to Eat Healthy Food at School [8]

To learn effectively, children need to eat healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

In school, there are many kinds of food provided, which student can choose to eat. However, to maximize of learning, health food is the recommended meal for children to consume. Then, I think both parents and school have responsibility to control and supervise children's food.

In my view, it is better for parents, especially mother to make food supply for their children bringing at school. It is good for children's health and as a guarantee to avoid children getting stomachache at school. Since we know, some snacks at canteen may be harmful and be sensitive to children who have allergic symptoms. It will disturb children's focus. For instance, a son who has itchy allergic symptoms to egg and are not aware to eat food containing egg, such as bread egg sandwich will not focus when learning process is running due to he feel itchy and take time to just focus on removing his itching. Therefore, it is important to bring a food supply that mother knows suitable for her children.

In the other hand, I think school can play a role to provide a healthy food for students. It can be communicated to parents, if many parents of that school are workers who do not have time to make a food supply for their children or cannot supervise their children's food every time. School can hold lunchtime which student can eat together. For simple idea, school can filter the food that harmful to children's health. When school manages the notion to provide lunch and food filter, it will reduce and remove a factor that disturb student learn less effective. So, their teacher also does not worry again about their meal.

To sum up, parents, especially mother, and school have to be responsible to provide a healthy meal at school. Mother can provide food supply that appropriate to children and lunchtime can be held at school. Hence, there is no worry again to children's health that can concentrate study at school. 330w
Anna94   
Nov 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / What is the job quality of the American nation's major air lines [2]

HELLO,
there was [a ] gradual rise in satisfaction level[s ] of customer and (...) there was [a ] slight increase of satisfaction.

And then rose [to ] 69 percent in 2000.
... always grew up were [was ] courtesy of flight ...
... from 87 to 89 percent and [at ] the end 88 percent. And about schedules factor [punctuation mark here ] there was [a ] slight grow (...) to 2000 and [at ] the end the percentage ...

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children must consume nutrition food at school to study effectively. [3]

HELLO,

Studying activities force children to think [more] hard/ [harder ].
Taking [a ] research result from (...) and ability of brain. The data shows [it also can be connected to be one sentence ] that the ability of ...

... when children eat a health [healthy ] food at school, ...

... at elementary school always do controlling [you can say: controls ] to the quality of ...

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Flying comfort in the US airlines (TASK 1 - satisfaction of air journey) [2]

Hello beauty,

... levels of satisfaction customer toward the quality (...) of satisfaction in particular subjects of flying journey ...

I think, there is connection between table and bar chart, so the customers who give the answers are also same. Therefore, I think you have to make it similar (subjects) and (customers) (plural or singular form)

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Relationships of Employees with Their Manager and Co-Workers [6]

HALLO,

... after five years gap in [between ] 2005 and 2009.

... of pie charts [punctuation mark here ] [the ] first type which describes [described ] of relationships (...) that there are [were ] less 10 % of employees who give [gave ] answers "fair" and the employees who [did ] not have managers ...

... shown that there are [were ] less 3 % of employees who [did ] not have co-workers ...
... that "very good" answers is [was ] the highest percentage ...

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Most workers had very good relationship with their supervisors and partners in 2005 and 2009 [2]

The chart below show the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationships with their supervisors and their co-workers.

The percentage of relationship among workers in the workplace toward their supervisors and work partners in 2005 and 2009 is presented by pie charts. Overall, most workers had very good relationship to their supervisors and partners in 2005 and 2009. Nonetheless, the partnership with co-workers was better than with supervisors.

To begin with, in 2005 the relationship between employees and supervisors stood at 61% of very good category. Four years later, it went up to 65%. Meanwhile, the good level fell from 26 to 22 percent. Then, the percentage of fair, poor, and employees who do not have supervisors was less than 10 percent. In 2005, there were people who categorized as 'no answer' with only 2%. However, in 2009 all participants give answers.

The very good level of officers in 2009 was higher than 2005 between 70 and 63 percent. However, workers had a slight increased from 2005 to 2009 by 3%. The fair interaction between workers and their partners fell from 7 to 3. There was no poor relationship in 2009 and workers who did not have supervisors just below to 3 percent. 186w




Anna94   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / People Dressed What They Like, But Not Show Their Characters [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indicator of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should no be judged by the clothes they wear.

Fashion industries now spread and more develop than before. They exist in almost all media that people can notice clearly. People are offered by any form and stylish garments. Nevertheless, most of them only buy the fashion product that they like and I believe what kind of dresses people use, do not reflect what character they have.

The kinds of clothes sometimes do not make people become lavish to spend their money buying it. Because the fashion items that contemporary popular are not their style. Many people collect some garments based on their desiring and favorite. For instance, in recent year, palazzo pants more likely to use by some hijabers, especially popular hijabers, but I do not attract to buy the clothes like that and keep continue buying dress. Because, it is not my style, and it is true that we can say that people's fashion style depend on their delight to something, such as color, shape, and convenience.

Fashion styles of people do not reflect their personality. We may judge a woman is so feminine and soft by a dress she uses. But, we do not know her character until we are making friends with her. Sometimes, people use garment just for duty and situation and to be obligated by someone like her boss. The enjoyable dresses people use, do not reflect their behavior and social status. Because, we often see the rich uses a simple fashion and the poor wears a high-class-look-like clothes. Sometimes clothes deceive our eyes and waste our brain

To sump up, we may judge people's fashion styles as something they interest to, but it does not mean that their clothes reflect their characters. Since wearing particular clothes frequently, hinder our eyes from the real personality of people. 293w
Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Proportion of factors why production of farmland decreased in 1990s [6]

HELLO,

... main causes and in universe and region [in some regions in the universe] is provided by graph table.

First of all, the deforestation causes ...
[not balance. your second paragraph too short meanwhile your third paragraph long, notice the length of whole essay]

This is [was ] higher than in south pacific which is [was ] no over cultivation. ... area has land degradation about 23%....
which causes of degradation about 13%
[you should combine or vary your sentence, because it repeat many times inside ]

GLUCK:D
Keep PRactiSing
Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Should Businesses Only Concentrate to Make Much Money? [8]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

Many workers decide to resign from their job and start to begin business. They make a business to get much money. Focus on making money is the way to produce it largely. I tend to disagree due to there are some things that businessperson should notice too.

Many businesses are in the good trading and merits trading that residents need it. That it is why business is one of the best ways to produce much money. How to make much money by business? Since we know that business is about compete to sell something and the product that are liked and needed by many people. Therefore, owner must improve the quality of the product. They have to make familiar own-label product to make consumers easy to remember. They should make the product unique than others. So, it will improve the profit of them.

Besides, owner also must notice the other side. Because focus on only making money will make the entrepreneurs negligence about the construction of business. Improving the quality of employees is an example. It must be paid more attention by entrepreneur. Since making much money from the quality of product, sales cannot exist without contribution of good and loyal workers. Hence, businessman must treat their labors well. The labors must get appropriate welfare.

In conclusion, profit is the focus of entrepreneurs that will be gotten by selling high quality product and unique brand. However, they must take care their labors 'improvement too for supporting of product manufacturing, promoting, and selling (distributing).
Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Let Heat lost and Energy Waste by Air Flows [2]

The diagram below shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.

The picture describes about the process of air that get out and get into the house to remove heat and energy residue. Overall, the number of part or things in the house that let the air out is less than the air leak into the house. Both entering air and leaving air can pass the same part of the house.

The air is produced by many things and part of the house. It passes all the part of the first and second floor of the house. The parts are dryer vent, crawl space, kitchen fan vent, and bathroom fan vent, plumbing stack vent and attic hatch. The air is generated by dryer vent in the right side of the house. The energy waste (water waste) that is produced by outdoor faucet can be removed through crawl space in the left side of the house. It can rise to the second floor by evaporating process.

In the second floor of the house, air can be blown by kitchen fan vent. There are some energy sources such as electrical sources, lamp, and water faucet (in the first floor). The light energy can be produced by the lamp. It rises to the balcony. It can be released to the atmosphere by passing the attic hatch. The light in the balcony can be left the house by passing plumbing stack vent. An amount of air gets into the door and rises to balcony. It unites with air that is released from bathroom fan vent and releases to the environment by passing plumbing stack vent and attic hatch.




Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The main perspective of Businesses is to Make Money - but is it the only priority? [6]

HELLO, here are my suggestions for you

... one's tool of people [TO] earns money, However, as the way for earn [EARNING ] money, s...

... business collapsed because of [they did not give ] not given customer wants.

... businessman who traps of money profitable mindset by his business,...
... his residence places, he believes [believed>> because you retell the past story ] that laundry business very appropriate with his neighborhood who [are ] always busy or major ...

At the last, the customers should be move[D ] to other places ...

... or strategy for sustain[able ] the customers intends ...
On the other hand, there are will be there any competitor[s ] in the same core ...
... due to those reasons, to sum up > redundant , my opinion is ...

Keep practising and GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are several goals of business that people want to achieve it. [3]

HELLO,

There are several goals of business that people want to achieve it [it >> refers to several goals, so i think that it is better if you remove the pronoun ].

... more concern about it that [than ] others.

... to keep maintaining the [their ] own-label products ...

... has to work harder untill [until ] midnight. As [a] results

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days, electronic media are commonly used by people in the world [6]

HELLO FRA, i give you some suggestions, here they are...

..., electronic media [is >> because this sentence refers to passive form ] commonly used by ...

Handphone [hand phone ] is a common technology ...
... because that is the only way [it is better if you put fulstop here ] so that [it is better if you put punctuation mark here ] people can ...

..., people become uncared [careless ] with their surroundings.

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Electronic devices have brought negative effects on human, especially in personal communication [5]

The use of electronic media has negative effects on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Using of electronic devices now more difficult to arrange. It is caused by a large number of people use it. Some people say that it has brought negative effects on people's life, especially in personal relationship between people. I tend to agree about this statement and this essay will discuss the notion.

Many people use electronic media as a tool or media to connect them to other people. The most electronic devices that are used by people are handphone with many features inside. By using handphone, users can send message, chat, and video call through particular application without moving locations. Nevertheless, sometimes some negative effects are resulted from using it. It can affect how people communicate with their relatives. Because in certain situation or attitude of using it, they do not realize what they have told via text. Whether it insults their partner or not. For example, users posted hate speech status in Facebook that they do not realize that it humiliates someone or makes someone has wrong feeling. Another example, somebody who chats with her friend reply the messages without thinking first whether it makes her friend mad. As a results, the two cases make the relationship of people break up.

Moreover, users who do not use mobile phone well and exactly, will experience the worst situation in relationship. That situation will bring persons in bad condition. For instance, users will being adverse with their friends. It makes them losing some friends. It also will affect their psychological condition that they do not expect. We also often see that someone who posts sensitive status will get bullying from netizens due to the reason they offend others clearly. Sometimes that case will lead the person to get stress and depression. Therefore, using electronic media need self controlling. Because it also spreads fast and puclic.

All in all, digital devices now become a necessary of many people. It brings many benefits in people's life. However, people must use it wisely and effectively. Since it can produce negative effect in private relationship among people. So, as users, they have to realize what they do while using mobile phone.
Anna94   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / People's opinion toward several communication skills that were important to use in working [5]

The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.

The table gives information about the percentage of people's opinion in 1997 and 2006 toward several communication skills including internal and external that were important to use in working. Overall, dealing with people showed the most important communication externally and selling a product was the less effective. The most important internal communication was listening carefully to colleagues and the reverse was making speeches or presentations.

To begin, four external communications were essential for working in 1997 and 2006. Dealing with people was chosen by 60 and 65 percent people respectively as the most. Knowledge of particular product service was a slight increase from 35 to 41 percent. It was the second larger essential. People decided that advising or caring for customers and clients also was essential to apply in work with increasing of number between 36 and 39. However, selling a product or service fell by 3%. Generally, it had an upward trend.

In 1997, listening carefully to colleagues obtained 38 percent and went up in 2006 to 40%. Making speeches or presentation was the lowest important between 7 and 11 percent. Three skills got the same numbers of quarrel around five from 1997 to 2006. There were instructing or training people, persuading or influencing others, and analyzing problems together with others. 204w




Anna94   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Burnaby Public Library is portrayed in the line graph [3]

HELLO, here my suggestions for you

..., which peaked [at ] 4000 books. Then,in the next two years , the level (...) women in 2013 and rose dramatically to ... [you mention the year two times. It is repetition ]

Actually, your essay is good. Just keep practising

GLUCK:D
Anna94   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / A number of Bulgarians with different education, who plan to continue their live in other countries [3]

HELLO, here my suggestions for you

Although, there is[was a] small decrease in the percentage [in] every category of years.

In 2002, people who have [had ] the biggest percentage to go in another country is [were] secondary education which is [was ] 65 percent. This isbecome [became ] the higher one than ...

For the higher education, there is [was a] fluctuation and become [became] the smallest percentage in 2008 which is [was ] just 9 percent.
... in 2006 the percentage reaches [reached[ or reached a peak at /font]] 20 percent.

Primary and lower education is [ was
] the category which have [had ] gradual rise between ...
Afterwards, there is [was ] dramatically increase ...

Notice that you must use "past tense" in your essay because the data refer to past situation in 2002, 2006, and 2008.

GLUCK:D

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