Writing Feedback / IELTs Task one: You live in a room in college which you share with another student. [4]

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.

To the accommodation officer at the college.

- describe the situation
-explain your problems and why it's difficult to work
-say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Letter about situation with a roommate

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am glad that I had this opportunity to live in college and it saved me a lot of time from commuting.

However, there are several problems occurred since I moved in two months ago.

Becuase David, Peter and I have different class schedules to attend, we don't see each other very often.

Besides, David and Peter have a school project to follow after they finish their classes, I usually fall asleep before they return back to the room.

Even though they tried their best to not wake me up, unfortunately, I have always been woken and started tossing and turning as soon as they come back.

Due to these reasons, I would like to move to a room with somebody who has similar class schedules and who doesn't have any school project to follow.

Thanks for your time and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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152 words.

Writing Feedback / Some people say international sports events help in world peace. Agree or disagree? [2]

Some people say international sports events help in world peace. Agree or disagree?

danger at multinational sport events

According to some, global athletics events will have a positive outcome in world peace. In my opinion, I disagree that international sports events have any effect on world peace as it's a great opportunity to terrorist and we cannot underestimate the losses impact which could be influenced by the displeasure people in the country.

A good reason to international sports events cannot help in world peace is that any large international event is being targeted by terrorism in the past fifteen years. In other words, the global sports event is a good chance to gather people together and celebrating their favourite athlete and country. However, it is also a great potential risk to citizens as terrorists are aiming crowded places to attack proving their existence and superiority.

Another point on the global sports events are not influencing a better world is that losses can be difficult to some people who loved their beloved country. According to research, about 85 percent of people who being violence after a sports event are the supporters of the loss team. Moreover, they cannot accept the result and then would engage violent to local shops and harm the citizens to satisfy their anger. Consequently, it would escalate the violation up to a national security challenge.

Finally, international sports events can be horrifying even in celebration. Particularly, alcoholics are easy to get offended or emotional by the conversation or the vibe. Therefore, a normal chat can turn into a tragic incident. As a result, police will get involve and arrest them.

In conclusion, International sports events can lead to radical people violate the laws and more importantly, there is a great risk of being attack by terrorist.

Word: 281

Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them [6]

Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

treating animals with respect

Some people think that using animals to serve our needs is understandable. However, other people believe that exploiting them is dreadful. In my opinion, using animals to enhance our society is acceptable but not for our greed.

On the one hand, it is commonly believed that this is the nature of life that the strongest dominate the weak. In other words, the human is dominating the world, thanks to our knowledge and technology. So, we are on top of the food chain and more importantly, we cannot improve our current medical treatment without an animal gone through a successful trial first. In fact, for most of our discovery of science, we used animals to experiment before it goes onto clinical treatment for the human.

On the other hand, some people consider that all species are equal, regardless they are different forms or have different abilities. Because of we, human are animals too. Also, exploiting other species can lead to distinction. In particular, elephants in Africa has massively decreased over years due to human inappropriate

practice and it is only one of many cases happening across the world, therefore, it will have an enormous negative impact on the environment.

Finally, in my view, it is impossible for human not using animals to benefit ourselves, but we can come up with some solutions to prevent over-exploitation. For example, people over hunted tigers and pandas just for decoration which is unacceptable and the government can interfere regarding these matters.

In conclusion, many people having different views, I believe that it is accepted to use animals to help improve our life but it should be handling in a good manner, and the government should regulate the greed from exploitation.

Word: 284

Thank you!

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. [4]

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Causes and solutions for overpopulation issue

Major cities, across the globe, are facing overpopulation issue. This is mainly because of migration, however, several actions could be taken to tackle this problem.

There are three main causes related to overcrowding problem in urban cities. Firstly, people from rural areas suffered fewer job opportunities or low-paid work which forced them to migrate for a better life. Secondly, educational institutions are not as good as in major cities where offering a wider range of curriculum with varieties of experienced teachers, which attracted a lot of parents to migrate for their children future. Finally, secured and convenient lifestyle, such as access to better health care centers or supermarkets or police stations, has given the reason for many people to move to the major cities from the countryside.

One way to solve this phenomenon is the governments should encourage businesses to invest and develop in regional areas by implementing an incentive program for reaching certain progress. As a result, it would bring more jobs and stores to its regions so people do not need to leave their home.

Another solution is reinforcing the locals infrastructure. In other words, the governments should focus on building more schools, medical facilities, and transportation. By doing this, it would be convenient for its residents to travel as well as attract more people come and work, promising a better education for the parents' children.

In conclusion, the governments could implement different policies to change its current overpopulation issue by establishing more facilities and other infrastructures which, hopefully, would reduce the overcrowded stress in major cities around the world.

Word: 259

Thank you!

CJ

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] We lived in a world of technology these days. Opinion essay. [4]

We lived in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree.

cyber control and security issues

Some suggest that cyber control and security issues outweighed the advantages as the world that we live in is surrounded by technology. In my opinion, I completely agree that control and security of the internet problems. Such as handling sensitive military information are significant than any advantages might bring.

To begin with, although the less-regulated internet has made us share the information faster, it raised concern over the way of milliary handling sensitive information via the internet too. In other words, the less-control internet has made data transmission fasten with no firewall. But it also exposes a risk that sensitive information exchange by the milliary through the internet would be a target for hackers. As a result, it would threaten the national security of the country.

Furthermore, it is convenient that having GPS system to help us in life, but the location of the users might lead to a serious consequence. In particular, GPS system helps us navigate to our destination. However, the exact user's location is being exposed, in which, privacy matter to its people has raised. Therefore, without regulation for protection, their privacy is being intruded.

Finally, our entertainments are in danger situation. Take Netflix for example, an online streaming video service that based their values on digital assets, so if hackers stole and stream them on another website, it could affect the company's revenue and it may kill the company in a long-run. So, we cannot only enjoy the advantages while ignoring the problems that we have.

In conclusion, I supposed that regulating the networking, privacy measures, and reinforce the cybersecurity to its hackers are serious and therefore, greater than any advantages.

Words: 280

Thanks!

CJ

Writing Feedback / Exercise or a balanced diet to health? Discussion essay. [7]

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

healthy diet and exercises - both crucial for health

It is commonly believed that the way toward being healthy is by doing the workout. Which leads to others consider that a regular balanced eating habit is far more crucial. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and present my opinion to this discussion below.

On the one hand, some think that the most effective way to health is by doing exercise. In other words, exercise helps one's body consume the food and convert them into energy as well as expel the toxins by sweating it out. As a result, it keeps one body's system working properly while kicking toxins out of one's body.

On the other hand, others believe that it is far more important to have a right proportion of eating habit. Particularly, having a balanced diet would avoid the negative effect of intaking exceeded one particular substance from the food and therefore, it would keep one's body stay healthy by getting all the good nutrients from a wide variety of food.

Finally, I consider that doing exercise regularly and keeping a healthy diet is equally important. Specifically, by only exercising without giving up on junk food or overly consumed sugar or salt in food would eventually lead to diabetes. Nevertheless, merely regulating the eating habit without a structural and consistent workout schedule would easily suffer any form of heart diseases as its heart muscles are not strong enough to withstand the sudden pressure that might occur in everyday life.

In conclusion, while exercise could help a body function properly. A healthy diet could avoid consuming one specific substance in food excessively. And I suggest that they are both crucial in health because without either one of its habits, which would potentially induce some serious diseases to a person.

Words: 295

Thanks!

CJ

Writing Feedback / Trusting and controlling issue over the internet. Direct questions essay. [3]

The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opprtunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information reliable on the internet? What could be done to control information online?

the quality of online information

As our information technology keeps advancing, a way of learning has moved to the digital world as it provides enormous resources and information to people across the globe. Which raised up some questions in remaining unanswered. Does all the information that on the internet can be trusted and how is it to regulate them? In this essay, I will answer each of the questions and provide two possible solutions below.

To begin with, some unreliable resources are floating around on the internet to misguide people. In particular, some websites provide misleading educational resources to people who desire in learning, such as fake information of climate change, which in hope to affect people perspective in believing this false and untruthful information for its motive of self-interest.

However, there is a number of ways to prevent them from harming people over the internet. Specifically, the government should establish a department to monitor these suspicious websites and take it down when necessary. Which resulting the potential in reducing the number of misleading information that on the internet.

Another way to tackle this misguided information that is spread across the internet is all the nations of government incorporate one another to impose a law of penalisation to its owners of any website that providing false resources to its people. By doing this, it would not only be a deterrent but also increase the correct and accurate information for learning. Consequently, more educated people would emerge as the time goes by in every nation.

To conclude, the development of the internet is up rasing and many people use it as a learning tool access. However, some created websites just to misguide people by offering inaccurate resources. Therefore, by having a department to scrutinise its suspicious activities and imposing penalty fee to the owners of its websites from every nation should be a way to maintain and protect the good quality information for people to learn on the internet.

Words: 324

Thanks!

CJ

Writing Feedback / When is Rome, do as the Romans do. Acceptation for the foreign culture. Direct question essay. [3]

It is often said "When is Rome, do as the Romans do". Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they are visit? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language.

culture and a visited country

It is a common belief that follows the customs of the people when visiting another country. In my opinion, the acceptance and to be willing to adapt one's culture in exploring another country is accountable. Furthermore, it is inevitable to learn a culture without knowing its locals language. In this essay, I will discuss my ideas below.

To begin with, people should accustom themselves into the culture within a country while they are visiting. Particularly, the act of granted visa from other countries of its government is a trusted and respected permission to its people whoever require for it. Thus, by visiting a country with any type of visa is implied one's should learn how to accept and be open-minded to its own culture of the nation.

Moreover, it is impossible for people to learn the culture without knowing its language. Becuase of the slang words, idioms and the grammatical structures that aid to convey its messages and information to one another in the country. The unknown to its language in the community would lose a powerful and effective access to the information and so as the culture itself.

Additionally, a culture is formed by its people. Without any actual communication to the locals, it would be extremely hard for one to succeed in gaining a deeper understanding of another cultural society. Hence, language is absolutely crucial in terms of getting to know its culture that in a country.

To conclude, some believe that going to another country, ones must respect and learn to adapt its culture and I agree. Because the visa is a granted trust to the people who wanted to visit. And also, by learning the foreign language, it would be an access to learning a culture.

Words: 293

Thanks!

CJ

Writing Feedback / Upraising e-books, good or bad? Adv vs disadv essay. [4]

popularity of electronic books phenomenon

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

As we are in the age of technology, some see it as a positive outcome when the upraising electronic books are substituting the traditional books. Which leads to other strongly disagree. In this essay, I will present the advantages of the topic and also the drawbacks below.

One positive outcome to the upraising electronic books replacing the traditional books is that it could save our environment. Because electronic books do not need an enormous amount of trees in order to produce sufficient distribution. Instead, it merely requires computer and electricity. Furthermore, it could save a lot of space too. Take library for example, by substituting those physical books to electronic books, it would save so much space for other uses such as more chairs and tables for people to read.

However, there are some downsides in regard to substitution of electronic books to traditional books. One negative impact is that the long hours of staring at the electronic screen would lead to certain eye diseases. Macular degeneration for instance, it would cause by looking at the phone or computer its screen intensively over a certain amount of time. Moreover, e-book users have to pay more comparing the physical books in purchasing from the service via the internet because of the convenience gimmick, thus, before the price becomes cheaper and universal, it is a step of backward to us.

To conclude, some people consider that it is a step forward regarding the popularity of electronic books in contrast to the traditional books. While it is beneficial in saving the environment and reduce its space capacity. The eye diseases might occur by constantly looking at its screen and the expensive price for its e-books should also be taken into consideration.

Words: 290

Thanks!

CJ

Writing Feedback / A letter of reference to my English teacher from the previous school (IELTS TASK ONE) [2]

Your are applying for a job and need a letter of reference.

Write a letter to a former teacher

In your letter:
- give details of the job
- explain why it is important to you
- suggest what information your teacher could put in the reference.

Dear Mr. Smith,

It has been a while since we spoke last time at the graduation and I appreciated the effort of tireless teaching from you which shaped me well in the subject of English back in the day. I am writing this letter to you because I am applying for an English teacher position and I needed a letter of your reference.

To be specific, the job that I am applying is a primary school that near my house and I will be teaching English to the age of six to twelve years old. Basic grammars and oral presentation are the main focuses and I will also be organising many fun activities for them to enhance their concentration in class.

More importantly, it is my first job and it has always been my dream to teach children so therefore, it would be great if you could write me a letter regarding my academic results and also my study preferences overall.

Thanks again for your help and I look forward to your reply.

Best regards,

CJ

Words: 176

Thanks!

Letters / A letter of application to the organisers. (IELTS TASK ONE) [3]

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event.

Write a letter of application to the organisers. In your letter:

- explain why you are interested in helping
- give details suitable past experience
- suggest ways you might help with the event

becoming a part of your organisation

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been following your non-profit organisation because we have a common goal of helping people. I believe that given is better than receiving since I was a child. Today, I saw the advertisement that coming from you in looking for any volunteers to join and run its charity event, I then immediately write this letter to express my genuine and passionate feelings in becoming a part of it.

I was in Red Cross fundraising its money for disabled people in my community throughout my study in college. Most recently though, I participated a few charity events for its donations to poor people who are in need with foods and shelters.

I suggest my strong networking skills could notify people about your event. I assure you need that. I could also be a helper during the event too.

I hope you could consider my request and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

CJ

Words: 161

Thanks!

Writing Feedback / You have decided to resign from your work in order to try a new field. [4]

You have decided to resign from your work in order to try a new field.
Write a letter of resignation to your boss. In your letter:

-Tell your boss of your decision and explain why you are leaving
- Explain what you have learnt from your current job and how you feel about leaving
- Ask for a letter of reference

letter of resignation

Dear Mr. Doe,

Thank you for being extraordinarily supportive since the first day I started working in this company. You and the company have equipped me with practical knowledge in all these years. You are also my lifelong mentor as you always guide me to be a better person. I am approaching you today because, after five years of working in the same company, I desire a new environment to explore the unknown.

Looking it back these five years, the work has taught me so much that I could ever imagine. Such as many crucial business strategies that make me become a better decision maker or in dealing with different characteristic clients. However, my deepest sadness cannot be described by words as I have to leave my lifelong mentor as well as all of my colleagues.

I understand our company policy to its letter of recommendation is merely restricted to include the confirmation of its job title and date of its employment. Thus, I hope you could write me a personal reference regarding my work performance. As it is absolutely helpful to increase my prospects of pursuing my next career goal.

It is a great hope that you would accept my resignation and write me a letter of reference. As always, I look forward to your reply.

All the best,

CJ

Words: 221

Thanks!

Writing Feedback / The caused of deforestation around the world. Solution essay. [3]

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment.
What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Forest fragmentation effects

Forests are being exploited for consumer goods in daily across the globe. Which resulting numerous negative impacts on our planet. In this essay, I will present three possible, adequate solutions for this particular issue below.

One feasible solution is to tighten the environmental laws to the logging industry. By constricting the environmental regulation to the lumber industry It would not only reduce the rapid rate of logging but also aid the inhabitants to survive. Therefore, it could unstress the threats from deforestation.

Another viable way to solve this issue is the consumers ought to purchase the substitution of wood made products whenever they have a choice. Specifically, the replacement materials of wood products are usually reusable after being recycled which means they are environmentally friendly. As a result, the patrons of deliberately purchase these products for everyday use around the world would definitely assist the recovery to its cause in a long run.

Finally, the deed of replanting trees from logging companies is also an effective method to solve its problem. In other words, deforestation is killing the habitats of many forms of species. Through reconstructing its re-plant trees process from the originators its issue of lumber companies, it would absolutely help to balance the devastating cause in the first place.

To recapitulate, the demands of timber products from us are inducing foreseeable pitfalls around the world. Though, I believe that by tightening our protection to its environmental laws against the logging industry and the support from its consumers are two ways to tackle this problem. Furthermore, the timber companies themselves should also take their actions in replanting trees at the exploited areas.

Words: 274

Managed to get it done in 40 mins, though I did some corrections afterward. It would be much appreciated if you could score my essay. Thank you.

Writing Feedback / Educated people are more valuable? Direct questions essay. [3]

Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

the value of education

It is a common belief that the most worthy of ones in our society is to study a lot instead of the ones who developed its skills by experiencing. I think that we should not underestimate the value of someone who learned its skills through practices. Further, communication technique with years of practicing could benefit our society as a whole.

I believe that people learned skills through practices have more resilience to face many difficult challenges in contrast to those people who merely study the theories in class. As we live in a world where is full of risks and potential threats in different sectors. Educated people had spent years in a protected environment with very little chances to explore the real world. Which blinds them from seeing the side of cruel and dreadful our rapidly changing society. However, people who trained its skills via experiences are the ones entered into workforce early and that resulting them in realizing what to expect and learn from its failures.

In addition, having communication skills with intense practices are definitely beneficial to our society. Because it enables people to learn from one another. Even it is for the educated people who have not ever been working in their lifetimes. As they could use this technique to avoid making many mistakes. Which eventually aids to improve our society economically and culturally.

To recapitulate, some believe that learning skills via experiences rather than in education are less value in our society as a person. However, toughness could be developed in ones because of it and, this attribute character arguably has a significant contribution to our society. Moreover, the master of communication skills in ones would enhance our society to move forward.

Words:286

This time, I used a timer for 30 mins. Please advise me if there are any improvements. It is a great hope that if you could score my essay. Thank you.