Writing Feedback / The reason and motivation of commited crime should be considered to decide on the punishment [3]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

In all parts of the world, the criminal matter is the problem making the controversy topic for people around the world. Some people think that the fixed punishments for all crimes are the must. However, I believe that the reason and motivation of crime that is done by people should be considered to decide on the punishment.

Fixed punishment for certain crime is very helpful for the small level of criminal. It can be a brilliant idea for the nations which have the high-criminality rates. In Indonesia, for instance, all cases have to be decided in the court, from the light level to the high level, so that sometimes, the court is too hard to be decided. This idea can reduce the problem of the court and the court's overload can be reduced.

However, including the reason and the fact of the cases is more important. Each people have the presumption of innocence. How about the person having murdered the criminal sneaking to the house and threatening the family's life? If we are thinking that fixed punishment is better, then we will punish the person murdered. But how about the principle of fairness? is it fair for them? No. The facts in the field and the circumstances should be included in order to give the equality of law for all of the people.

All in all, I believe that before we decided the person is guilty or not, we should involve the facts and the motivation why the people did. Although fixed punishment is a good idea, it will be better to provide the equality of law to all of the people around the world.

(275 Words)

Writing Feedback / Cement and concrete processes - both use rotating force to make the cement and mixing the concrete [3]

The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams inform how the cement is produced with the tools explained, and the production process to make the concrete for building materials. It can be seen that both of processes use rotating force to make the cement and mixing the concrete.

The equipment of cement production consists of the crusher, mixer, rotating, heat producer, grinder and bags. The process starts when limestone and clay as the raw material are crushed by the crusher to be powder. The powder is gone to the mixer and rotated in the rotating heater along with heat that created by the heat source. After that, the material that had been processed in the heater is grinded in the grinder. Finally, the cement is created and ready to be packed with bags.

For the production of concrete, less than a fifth of cement, a quarter of sand, and a half of small stones are used to make the concrete. One in ten water is used as well. Then after all of the material is placed in the concrete mixer, the material is rotated by the mixer to create the mixed concrete.

(186 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The rising of transportation usage, the traffic and CO2 emission [2]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

In this industrial era when people move so fast, transportation becomes one of the most important factors to serve the human need to go to other places. But, as the rising of transportation usage, the traffic and CO2 emission are the drawback and it can be extremely dangerous for us. Then, there is an opinion that rising up the price of fuel will significantly solve the traffic jam and pollution. However, I briefly disagree the price will change our habit as the main cause of these problems.

Petroleum is the basic requirement for the machine to power up. People are used to buying the petrol. This leads the people to choose the private rather than the public one. However, According to research, there is no correlation between price and solving growing traffic. So that increasing the price will not make a significant effect on their ways of using their own transportation.

Now we are talking about the solution of this problem. The one that could be effective is serving public transportation to public. Using public transportation will effectively decrease the number of congestions level in some cities. Also, survey proves that if the transportation is fast, secure, and easy, almost 85 percent of respondents are ready to use the public transportation. If this research is true, then it can make a tremendous effect to solve the problem known that hard to be solved all time.

All in all, providing the mass transportation and improving it are the way that can be adopted to overcome the traffic congestion and pollutions problems. Rising the price of petrol will not effectively solve the problem because, according to research, there is no correlation between price and using transportation. Using public transportation will significantly reduce the problem.

(292 Words)

Writing Feedback / It can be seen the variability of the annual expenses by a school in the United Kingdom [4]

These three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

According to the charts, it can be seen the variability of the annual expenses by a school in the United Kingdom in 1981, 1991, and 2001. Overall, it is apparent from the graph that the total school spending in salaries was the biggest expense from the year given, while the second largest cost was infrastructure such as resources, and furniture and equipment.

Started in 1981, salaries that had been given by school started at 66 percent. In the next decade, the salaries rose significantly to a half of the total school spending for teachers' salaries. But unfortunately, the percentage of other workers' salaries decreased by 4 percent to 22 percent. There was a slight decrease for salaries to 60 percent of school's expenses in the next decade.

Infrastructure such as resources and equipment took the second highest expenditures. Started in 1981, almost one-third school spending had been allocated to this sector. Then, in the next 10-year, there was a slight decrease for infrastructure allocations by 5 percent while the furniture and equipment reach a low point at 5 percent. However, in reverse, the spending for resources bottomed out at 9 percent meanwhile there was a significant increase for furniture and equipment to 23 percent. Insurance had the percentage below 9 percent all the data given.

(215 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Some people say that a healthy food can accelerate the studying process [3]

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.
How true is this statement?
Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Learning is the key process to obtain the knowledge from knowledgeable people to the student. Learning effectively is extremely needed because it is the way that the smart person did. Some people say that a healthy food can accelerate the studying process. I briefly agree that the food is an essential factor and should be served by school side.

There is an opinion that the brain which is the core of learning process consumes at least one-fifth of our body energy. Scientifically, it is true - according to the data served at ted.com. it can be dangerous for our health, especially for our brain if we serve the people with the unhealthy one. The research conducted by Mr. Fujinoma Satoru from Kyoto University reveals that there is a correlation between the student having an unhealthy food with the grade in the school. Almost 75 percent of the children without the better food had the grade below the standard. This is the evidence that having a good meal is a must in order to learn effectively.

Then, whose responsible to serve a serve a healthy food for the children? Is it their parents? The answer is the school. The school is only the one having the responsibility for the pupils in the school. Parents are not able to monitor their children everytime they are living in the school and they cannot control it. As the one who is responsible, the school should provide the healthy food to make sure the development of children is going better.

All in all, I briefly believe that the healthy food is the "basic ingredients" for people who wants to learn effectively. The school having the most time interaction with the children should provide the healthy food to ensure the children have the best development in the school life and their future.

(305 Words)

Writing Feedback / In 1999, sixty-five percent of the customers were satisfied with the airlines in the United States [4]

The chart and table below show customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspects of air travel in 1999, 2000, and 2007

The bar chart and table inform the percentage of the passengers' satisfaction and the aspects which are related with the flight experience in the US in 1999, 2000, and 2007. Overall, the customers were getting more and more satisfied with the airlines and the satisfied level of the flight aspects were above a half in 2007

In 1999, sixty-five percent of the customers were satisfied with the airlines. There is a slight increase by four percent in the next following year. Then in 2007, it reached a peak at 72 percent. Back in the beginning of the period, the unsatisfied passengers' level stall at 32 percent. In 2000, there is a slight decrease by 3 percent. It can be seen that the satisfactory level had an upward trend while dissatisfied level had a downward trend.

The flight attendant and price tickets had a similar upward trend and it reached peak at the same year in 2007. The former had 92 percent while the latter had 65 percent. There was no significant difference of satisfied level for check in agents and stayed at 88 percent as the median value. Schedules satisfaction level had 75 percent in 1999 and had the same number in 2000 and 2007. The data for comfort of seats factor started in 2007 with 47 percent.

(218 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The freedom of dressing gives a different opinion among society. [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, fashion gives an impact to social culture. Many kinds of fashion are available around us. You can find the religious dress to the rock style one. But unconsciously, the freedom of dressing gives a different opinion among society. Some people think that the clothes they wear will indicate they are like while others believe that they cannot be judged by the clothes they wore. However, in my point of view, it depends on the culture in the place of life.

"Don't judge a book by its cover" is the popular quote for this topic. In this modern era, people, especially in western, are free to express themselves. It is popularly believed that having free expression will give an impact to personal creativity skill. Facebook, one of the most attractive social media, gives the freedom for the employee to wear the dress they want. As the result, almost a half of Facebook's workers are the members of company's creative department and giving the vision of future of the company.

However, for the people living in the eastern, they tend to think that people's personality is the outfit they wear on. This is proven by research conducted by Mr. Nagisa Shiota from Kyoto University in earlier of 2016. Taking the people wearing punk style in Indonesia for example, society thinks that they have a bad attitude. In reverse, wearing "peci" - one of the Islamic - dress will be considered as the good person. Here is the evidence that people tend to judge a person by its clothes.

All in all, for the points that I mentioned above, people with the different culture will give the different point of view of clothing. It depends on what the culture they have. It is whatever you want to choose as long as you enjoy and will not have the conflict of the local culture.

(308 Words)

Writing Feedback / Charts based on interviewing employee about their relationship with supervisor and colleagues [2]

The charts below show the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationships with their supervisors and their co-workers.

The pie charts inform the survey conducted in 2005 and 2009, interviewing employee about their relationship with supervisor and colleagues. Overall, they were very satisfied with the relationship with the supervisor and the co-workers.

Between 2005 and 2009, the employees were very satisfied with the relationship with supervisor, indicated by the highest level at very good level. There was a slight increase from 61 percent to 65 percent while the percentage of people having fairly good decreased significantly from 34 percent to 28 percent. However, the workers who did not have a supervisor and want to answer increased slightly from 3 percent to 5 percent.

For the relationship with co-workers, they were very satisfied with the relationship with their colleagues, indicated by the very good state increased from 63 percent to 70 percent. There was a significant decrease in the percentage of employee thinking that they had a fairly good relationship between 35 percent and 28 percent.

(157 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The scheme informs the circulation of air and how the house loses its heat temperature [3]

Writing Task 1, Unit 5D, Page 35
Air leaks and heat loss in houses
The diagram shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.

The scheme informs the circulation of air and how the house loses their heat temperature because of the flow of air. Overall, the air located at near heat source goes out faster while the air located at colder room goes into the house.

It can be seen that the source of heat forces the air to move out from the house, such as fireplace, and lamp. Living room is the warmest area in the house because of the fireplace located at the room. So that the intensity of air leaking into and out of the area is the highest than the other rooms. The fan also contributes to move the air circulation in the room and move out the air such as bathroom fan vent, attic hatch, and kitchen fan vent. Some invisible holes also give the impact as the source of the air leaking to the house such as the hole of door, window, electrical outlet, crawl space, kitchen for vent, and dryer vent.

(165 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The popular opinion that the company has to focus only on how to make money [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

It is interesting to talk about business today. An issue such as the main purpose of company is the debatable talk because of its complexity. Some people think that business is made to only focus on making profit. However, I briefly disagree with the statement because there are other things that the employers can do.

The ones who only search the way to make their company on the green level always think that their main success is to make money. However, company as the one searching a profit in the other countries has the responsibility to the nation in which they lived. Business is to not only gather the money in the certain country but also overcome the problem in the particular country. Microsoft, having all branch offices around the world, has committed to solve the problem in the nation where the branch on. In Indonesia, several PCs have been given by Microsoft to solve the infrastructure problem so that the education will be available for all students in Indonesia.

Furthermore, they should not only focus on how to make money as greater as possible. There are a lot of good routines that they can do such as gathering with the official to talk about the future condition so that they can solve the problems that are predicted to happen in the future. Also, giving a chance to upgrade the skills of the employee can be useful for the workers. The worker should not too much be demanded about the performance to only focus on making money.

All in all, from the points that I mentioned before, I strongly disagree with the popular opinion that the company has to only focus on how to make money. I believe that there are other purposes that the company can do to not only gather money but also solve the other problems around.

(308 Words)

Writing Feedback / The survey result about essential soft-skill in communication for daily routines [4]

The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.

The figure shows the survey result about soft-skill in communication which is important for daily routines, asked in 1997 and 2006. Overall, the percentage of people considering that all aspects of communication to employee and public are essentials increased except selling product or service to the society.

For knowledge of particular and dealing with people, there was a significant increase from 35 to 41 and between 60 and 65. The percentage of people asked by advising clients increased by 3 percent from 36. In the reverse, selling a product decreased by 3 percent to 21 percent. These were the aspects of communication with external of the company.

To listen to colleagues was the highest increase of all points by 9 percent to 97 percent. Meanwhile, training people influencing and analysing problems with others had relatively same increased percentage by 5 percent to 30 percent, 21 percent, and 26 percent while making speeches and planning activities had 2 percent of median increment.

(155 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The technology aims to change the way we act and communicate each other [3]

The use of electronic media has negative effects on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology is important for our daily life. It aims to change the way we act and communicate each other. The problems such as not having time or distance can be solved easily. However, some people think that using technology affect our relation to others. I believe that using those will give a drawback, especially in the personal relationship.

Using of electronic peripherals is so fun. You can entertain yourself by only one single click and the gadget will serve you anything you want. But, when you are sinking in the pleasure of technology, it will affect your behaviour, especially in the way of communicating to others. If we compare to the situation in the last two decade, they had to meet if they wanted to have a talk. It is totally different in the present when you are only using chat applications and connected every time and everywhere.

Furthermore, it can affect our personal relationship among other. It is common for millennial generation to give the private information to the public. The research conducted by Mr. Akabane Karma at Tokyo University resulted that almost a half of the people using the internet had shared at least two posts which should be private. Some of them created posts about other behaviour, which can affect the relationship between them.

In conclusion, I believe that using electronic peripherals are able to change the way to treat the others. Shared the private information can lead to affect the relationship between friends. As the modern people, the contents we will post should be filtered to avoid the drawbacks to the others.

(265 Words)

Writing Feedback / In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. We forget about our health [2]

Some people say that in the modern world, it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. Working hard is also one of the tools to get it, which sometimes forget our way of keep healthy. There is an opinion that it is very difficult to maintain our healthy lifestyle when the others believe that it is easy to live healthily.

Busy work is the main cause why people forget to be a healthy person. In fact, 50 percent of workers in Indonesia did not take an exercise almost one year behind. They only focus on their job and they abandoned their healthy lifestyle in order to keep their performance. Next cause is that there is no knowledge of being healthy. They do not know how to make the good meal and too lazy to start a new lifestyle.

However, having a healthy lifestyle can be easy for the ones who want to it. Living in the modern can also accelerate our transform. Today, the internet is the modern platform that can teach ourselves. It can provide the information about how to be a healthy person in just a few steps. They can also allocate their time to do some exercise which is an effective way to maintain their health.

All in all, I believe that living in the modern era as the millennial generation provides some benefits and also drawbacks at the same time, especially in the healthy lifestyle. Although we are living in this are when there are many competitions to grab our success and sometimes our healthy lifestyle is forgotten, we can maximally exploit the technology as the tools for maintaining our health. All we need is our willingness because to be a healthy person starts by you.

(286 Words)

Writing Feedback / The information about the grade of education of Bulgarian who looked for a chance to live abroad [3]

The bar chart shows about the grade of education of Bulgarian inhabitant wanted to stay abroad in 2002, 2006, and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that secondary education is the most level of the education of Bulgarians while the other levels are below a half.

Started in 2002, the percentage of higher education level stall at 17 percent and there was a slight increase by 2 percent in 2006. Unfortunately, the percentage dropped significantly to 9 percent in the next couple of years. For primary and lower education, the percentage of educational level started at 18 percent in the beginning of the period. There was a slight increase by 1 percent in the next 4-year. Fortunately, the level increased significantly to 32 percent. However, the percentage of secondary educational level remained the same at approximately 62 percent as the median. From the figures, we can see that for higher, and primary and lower education, there is no group that reached a half.

(163 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Who is the responsible for teaching pupils? Their parents or their teachers? [2]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Having good manners in daily life is the thing that we should have. Living as social creature, we should pay an attention with how to be a good person in large group. This should be taught and started at the early age. There are some opinions that the one having responsible to teach the pupils is their parents. The other group claims that the school is the right place learning this.

It is popularly believed that school is the model of society. The students can learn how to be a good civilian from their teacher. But, in fact, school is not an ideal place to implement their knowledge to be a member of society. There are several reasons why it cannot be the best place. The first one is immature friends. If we compare the object in the school and the one in the society .you will find so many differences such as the way of logical thinking which the majority of students do not have. The second is the teacher which does not teach maximally. There are many pupils in the school and some of them cannot be maximally monitored by the teacher.

How about the parents? Sometimes the parents are underestimated by some people. There was a research at Tokyo University and the result surprised researchers around the world. The most effective one to become the good members of society are started but learning from parents. The parents as the closest one are the effective media to transfer the knowledge. When strangers come in front of you and teach you, will you accept their words?

All in all, I believed that learning from school, especially about how to be a good person of inhabitant group cannot be effectively done by the school. Learning from the parents who are the closest one are the best way to know this. There is a quote related by this topic: "You should learn with the right person and you will find your golden ways."