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|Sydney university - "Technology that is designed to delight its users" - AAS supporting statement 1
2 - Ida, totally remove your first paragraph and make the current second paragraph your first paragraph instead. Just merge the...
Scholarshipkanbin - May 1, 2017 / Holt - May 2, 2017
|Study Objectives Essay For Fulbright Scholarship Program 2018 From Pakistan
4 - Bilal, in my honest opinion, your essay doesn't really respond to the question. The development of your essay response...
Scholarshipbilal_engineer - Apr 30, 2017 / Holt - May 1, 2017
|STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR OFID SCHOLARSHIP AWARD - PAKISTAN RISK
4 - @bilal_engineer thank you dear bilal. I have modified it totally now, looking at the suggestions made by you people....
ScholarshipFarmancus - Apr 27, 2017 / Farmancus - Apr 30, 2017
|The road to abolish energy poverty from my country
4 - @azadsaleem71 Dear Azad, Salam buddy! I've proofread your essay and following is some of the parts which...
Scholarshipazadsaleem71 - Apr 29, 2017 / bilal_engineer - Apr 30, 2017
|"How I Intend to use benefits from scholarship and possible constraints" - AAS 2017 Essay Task 3
2 - Monica, all of your reference to the actual application of your course of study is vague and general in...
ScholarshipMonica26 - Apr 30, 2017 / Holt - Apr 30, 2017
|Task 1 for AAS application. Reasons for choosing to study the course and the institution.
2 - Bushra, try to balance the discussion of your statement. Offer no more than one paragraph to the background of...
ScholarshipbushraAhmed - Apr 28, 2017 / Holt - Apr 29, 2017
|Space - Essay FOR Australian Award Scholarship
NEW - How did you choose your proposed course and institution*? Spatial Engineering I did study about Spatial Engineering,...
ScholarshipRisty1994 - Apr 26, 2017 / — -
|Environment and economic in Australia - Supporting Statement for AAS: Task 1
NEW - Hi everyone, please help me to review my first task in supporting document for AAS. Any respond will be...
Scholarshipfarkud - Apr 26, 2017 / — -
|Communication and media - challenging world; study plan for scholarship
3 - Bambina, your essay does not completely respond to the prompt requirements. You wrote this essay without regard for the...
Scholarshipbambina - Apr 24, 2017 / Holt - Apr 26, 2017
|Becoming a geotechnical lecturer in civil engineering major is the career that I want to pursue
2 - Putri, don't explain about the pedagogy part in this essay. It sounds like you are lecturing the reviewer. It...
Scholarshipflykitten - Apr 24, 2017 / Holt - Apr 25, 2017
|AAS supporting statement (review needed) - Task 1 choosing my course and institution
3 - Audi, consider writing a new response for the required prompt. The response that you should be giving in terms...
Scholarshipodunkz - Apr 24, 2017 / Holt - Apr 25, 2017
|My contribution to help in developing my country to be a global center of financial services
3 - @Holt thank for response and valuable comment on my essay. and i tried to response again on your comment...
Scholarshipbilguunsaikhan - Apr 22, 2017 / bilguunsaikhan - Apr 24, 2017
|I choosed Australia National University. Need your help in checking my essay down below.
ScholarshipTickyMik - Apr 22, 2017 / TickyMik - Apr 24, 2017
|Scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource development needs. AAS support statement
4 - @holt , thanks for your comment. It is very helpful, especially about "Don't focus so much on yourself" ...
Scholarshipfajarlombok - Apr 23, 2017 / fajarlombok - Apr 23, 2017
|AAS Supporting statement No.3 about doing something meaningful for the society
4 - Your essay does not properly work for the prompt. You have to use a situation at your office or...
Scholarshipaz23 - Apr 23, 2017 / Holt - Apr 23, 2017
|Owning a law company with a group of skillful associates - my future career
3 - @Holt Thank you for your comments as always. In fact, I don't get why the contribution of my studies...
Scholarshipaz23 - Apr 23, 2017 / az23 - Apr 23, 2017
|How did you choose Master of Agricultural Sciences The University of Queensland?
4 - @trayaa91 I'm applying to AAS too. Below are few comments on the current version of your essay: -it is...
Scholarshiptrayaa91 - Apr 23, 2017 / az23 - Apr 23, 2017
|My research about about Australia Awards Scholarship, what led me to this institution
2 - Putri, you are being asked to present your academic background in this essay. Rather, you are to give a...
Scholarshipflykitten - Apr 22, 2017 / Holt - Apr 22, 2017
|JAMES COOK UNIVERSITY. Proposed course and institution. AAS supporting statement.
3 - Fajar, in my opinion, the first paragraph of your essay should be reserved to open the essay response about...
Scholarshipfajarlombok - Apr 22, 2017 / Holt - Apr 22, 2017
|Details of any other experience/information which you consider relevant to your application
3 - Bolarinwa, while I consider your current draft a slight improvement on your previous post, I must say that you...
Scholarshipbolarinwa - Apr 16, 2017 / okorobiadimma14 - Apr 22, 2017
|I chosed University of Melbourne and Monash University. AAS 2018 Supporting Statement
Scholarshipaz23 - Apr 16, 2017 / az23 - Apr 22, 2017
|Analyst of Marine Protected Area. Three practical examples in Australia Awards Scholarship
2 - Fajar, with a 2000 character count in the essay, your work has room for improvement. However, before I start...
Scholarshipfajarlombok - Apr 21, 2017 / Holt - Apr 21, 2017
|Scholarship Questions - what are your intentions after graduating from school?
3 - Stef, the opening sentence of your essay is a good foundation for the response. However, the rest of the...
Scholarshipvasillisa - Apr 21, 2017 / Holt - Apr 21, 2017
|Applying master degree of Naval Architecture. Supporting Statement for Australian Award Scholarship
3 - May. none of your responses are accurate enough to be considered an exemplary response to the prompt. What you...
ScholarshipBerg - Apr 20, 2017 / Holt - Apr 21, 2017
|After study I want to be involved in maintaining the quality of Indonesia's marine environment
5 - I think you should make example which is applicable to implement in Indonesia. I am Indonesian too. are u...
Scholarshipgries_en - Apr 19, 2017 / fajarlombok - Apr 21, 2017
|Supporting statement - how will the study contribute (AAS - Applied Linguistics)
3 - @Holt Thank you for the detailed feedback and suggestion . I will change the approach and rephrase it as...
Scholarshiptetuyul - Apr 19, 2017 / tetuyul - Apr 20, 2017
|OFID scholarship essay - Reforming the tax system in Tunisia
2 - Chiraz, this is totally the wrong approach to responding to the prompt. In order to create a more relevant...
Scholarshipchiraz2017 - Apr 19, 2017 / Holt - Apr 19, 2017
|I choose Subsea Engineering at the Curtin University, because...
2 - Nurul, there needs to be an equal discussion coverage of both the reasons why you chose to enroll in...
ScholarshipNurulNaval - Apr 18, 2017 / Holt - Apr 19, 2017
|Master of Environment - proposed course and institution for Australian Awards Scholarship
3 - @Holt Hello Holt, thanks for your feedback. Actually the next question in supporting statements needed in the scholarship application...
Scholarshipfillingthedots - Apr 16, 2017 / fillingthedots - Apr 18, 2017
|Discuss the disappointments, failure, or risks in your life so far and your responses to them
5 - @Holt Hmmm I see . The problem is that I don't have any other stories that talks about disappointments...
ScholarshipBluemoom - Apr 15, 2017 / Bluemoom - Apr 16, 2017
|Specific examples of dealing with difficult situation, providing a good change
4 - Ayu, let's get one thing straight, the issue you are supposed to present has to do with your most...
Scholarshipmissayufitri - Apr 15, 2017 / Holt - Apr 16, 2017
|This school will lead me to the teacher profession. Australia Awards Scholarship Essay 2
Scholarshipmissayufitri - Apr 10, 2017 / missayufitri - Apr 11, 2017
|My Engineering & Construction Experience for Scholarship Essay Purpose
2 - Ananto, your essay is extremely difficult to read sure to the horrible English sentence structure and development. Collectively, the...
Scholarshipansufw - Apr 11, 2017 / Holt - Apr 11, 2017
|Rotary's motto is Service above Self. How have you served your community in the past and now?
2 - Joseph, due to the length of the word requirement of essay for the prompts provided, I'm constrained by forum...
Scholarshipjoseph256 - Apr 11, 2017 / Holt - Apr 11, 2017
|Personal statement "why I wish to be considered for a Scholarship"
3 - @missayufitri I used advices that Holt gave to me in my previous thread: essayforum.com/scholarship/education-investment-statement-76061/ Of all the...
ScholarshipArchF - Apr 10, 2017 / ArchF - Apr 10, 2017
|Why I chose the following Master's programs and institutions
3 - @kacanakya try answering the following questions in your essay: What is your college major? If you are a high...
Scholarshipkacanakya - Apr 8, 2017 / ayazemj - Apr 9, 2017
|Education is as an investment. Personal statement for a Scholarship
2 - Arsenij, I am of the opinion that this essay cannot help your scholarship application. It is weak and does...
ScholarshipTweenkyx - Apr 9, 2017 / Holt - Apr 9, 2017
|Short essay on "Why I want to study abroad and what makes me a good candidate" - in English.
4 - @Holt Thank you, Holt. I wrote a whole new essay based on your instructions. But since I am new...
Scholarshipayazemj - Apr 3, 2017 / ayazemj - Apr 8, 2017
|How your training at Stanford will impact the economical growth of Africa?
4 - Awoga, your response to the prompt should be set aside for a more relevant topic for discussion. It does...
Scholarshipklegou - Apr 7, 2017 / Holt - Apr 8, 2017
|Personal statement for Loughborough University graduate school african trust fund
3 - @Holt Thanks for your comment. what about this PERSONAL STATEMENT "Education is a companion which no future can...
ScholarshipPhocus - Mar 25, 2017 / Phocus - Apr 7, 2017
|Master TESOL - special subjects or skills that you would like to include in your choice? - AAS Essay
Scholarshipd2ny - Mar 21, 2017 / d2ny - Apr 5, 2017
|How studying media and communication contributes to my career
2 - Katya, try to show a familiarity with the program that you are applying for in reference to your career....
Scholarshipkacanakya - Apr 4, 2017 / Holt - Apr 4, 2017
|Working in an union business - my scholarship proofreading
3 - Duvuldil, before you can convince a person to join the union, you must first explain to him the history...
Scholarshipduvuldil - Apr 1, 2017 / Holt - Apr 1, 2017
|Practical Example After Graduating - primary health center and health promotion media
Scholarshipdigaprasiska - Mar 29, 2017 / digaprasiska - Mar 31, 2017
|The Biosciences Master - Reviews for Scholarship Essay
Scholarshiponly1shubham - Mar 29, 2017 / only1shubham - Mar 30, 2017
|Supporting Statement for AAS 2018, Media and Communication Studies
6 - Hi @kacanakya That's great. You can post one essay each so that people can also focus on your...
Scholarshipkacanakya - Mar 26, 2017 / d2ny - Mar 29, 2017
|2. Master of Technology and Innovation. How will the proposed study contribute to your career?
3 - Ung, consider removing the points where you discuss what you will learn in the course and just keeping the...
Scholarshipungthao - Mar 28, 2017 / Holt - Mar 28, 2017
|Being one of doctors - "the saviours of humanity".
ScholarshipDrTarik - Mar 25, 2017 / DrTarik - Mar 25, 2017
|Graduate Marketing Degree - Scholarship personal statement
3 - Rihanna, for starters, a personal statement is not written in the form of a letter unless it indicated that...
ScholarshipRihanna - Mar 24, 2017 / Holt - Mar 25, 2017
|6th NIDA summber camp 2017 on "Sustainable Community Development" In Thailand.
ScholarshipShamsher sing - Mar 24, 2017 / frenchfries - Mar 24, 2017
|'networking between Indonesia and the Netherlands' Stuned Scholarship
4 - I think we usually use the "wet season" rather than rain season. And, i don't agree with this statement...
ScholarshipPikapikakuro - Mar 22, 2017 / Roselanim - Mar 24, 2017
|Benefit to Home Country Essay - The Impact of My Work
2 - Cardinal, you need to focus your essay on the country development plans being promoted by the SEDI. The development...
ScholarshipCardinal - Mar 23, 2017 / Holt - Mar 23, 2017
|CSS Essay (Save the lives of rural dwellers in Nigeria with off-grid solar electrification system)
3 - @Holt Thanks for your response. I will make the necessary corrections you pointed out from my essay and re-post...
ScholarshipAbhafiz - Mar 22, 2017 / Abhafiz - Mar 23, 2017
|University lecturer - KGSP future study plan working in KOICA for a few years
2 - Kike, do you remember the study plan that you wrote prior to this essay? Go back to the study...
Scholarshipkike - Mar 21, 2017 / Holt - Mar 23, 2017
|SOP for Exchange Program to Chungnam National University
3 - Eyahj, if you wish to create a proper statement of purpose, then find a more personal and academic reason...
ScholarshipEarthJupiterian - Mar 21, 2017 / Holt - Mar 23, 2017
|Stuned scholarship: review (academic reflection)
2 - Momot, your current draft failed to impress the reviewer because you are not answering the prompts and there are...
Scholarshipmomot - Mar 20, 2017 / okorobiadimma14 - Mar 23, 2017
|Financial Statement for Scholarship - Finishing Studies
2 - Nicole, It is essential that you include the exact prompt of your essay in your post so that it...
ScholarshipNicoleTM21 - Mar 21, 2017 / okorobiadimma14 - Mar 21, 2017
|Business Information AAS - How did you choose your proposed course and institution?
3 - Mizana, kindly post the prompt of your essay as it is difficult to offer a plausible review of your...
Scholarshipmkp123 - Mar 20, 2017 / okorobiadimma14 - Mar 21, 2017
|KGSP study plan information technology for sustainability
3 - @Holt hello Mary, this is revised version, i tried to make the necessary corrections as you have pointed out....
Scholarshipjharmony - Mar 19, 2017 / jharmony - Mar 21, 2017
|Study in Korea - my dreams and goals in life. Self Introduction letter for KGSP
2 - Pretz, your letter of self introduction is highly inconsistent in responding to the KGSP self introduction letter requirements. Focus...
Scholarshippretzkibyeol - Mar 20, 2017 / Holt - Mar 20, 2017
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