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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 453)

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three battles significant in evoving canada as an independant country

6 - Thank you sooooooooooo much Kevin that was SOOOOOO much help im finished my conclusion now all thanks to you...

Writing Feedbackosma - Jun 5, 2010 / osma - Jun 7, 2010

Do-Gooders need to let us decide (the three risky behaviors), rough draft

2 - ...not be hurt in any way. --- use 2 words "any way" not one word. I agree with...

Writing Feedbackreeseinskool - Jun 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2010

How should I describe all types of graphs,diagrams or charts?

8 - Now that I am looking at my description, I can see that I've made some spelling errors. The point...

Writing FeedbackMarutza - May 28, 2010 / Marutza - Jun 7, 2010

IELTS Writing-Topic about TV, book, radio

4 - Hi Jet, In my openion, starting with the word civilization is compatable with mentioning some historical facts about...

Writing Feedbackjetzhu - Jun 6, 2010 / Nohna - Jun 7, 2010

The College Experience: Exemplification Essay On College Life

2 - Some believe a 5 hour energy will do-- this will confuse some people. It is a proper noun, so...

Writing Feedbackamc2286 - Jun 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 6, 2010

"global warming will result to numerous changes" - essay needs editing

2 - Hi Kiki in* numerous ...to* the.. Swap the "if not.." to the beginning of the...

Writing Feedbacksothenkikisaid - Jun 6, 2010 / meisj0n - Jun 6, 2010

IELTS task 2 : Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood.

9 - my suggest is that you can write about 3 sentences in first paragraph to support both sides. Make your...

Writing Feedbackwilly0123 - May 20, 2010 / mabu9669 - Jun 6, 2010

childrens eating habits nowadays are different from previous generation

2 - Nowadays, children's eating habits lead them to heath deterioration.I entirely agree with this view and believe that this alarming...

Writing Feedbacksheina - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

The main function of university

3 - Use capital letters to start each sentence: Some people think that university should provide graduates with the knowledge...

Writing Feedbacknoorahan - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

Focus on creative expression should be given importance or not ?

5 - In academic writing, you never have to say said that ,"blah blah...." William Shakespeare once said, that "An objective...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - Jun 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

IELTS taks 2 essay: computer has negative effects to children

6 - Well, the thesis statement should answer in a single sentence the question that the essay is trying to...

Writing Feedbackdungpvt2004 - Jun 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

Computers affect society - CLEP English Comp Practice

3 - This is a compound sentence that needs a comma: Many things have changed over the years , but one...

Writing Feedbackoperalady - Jun 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

IELTS writing task two>Compare the advantage vs. disadvantage of three media

3 - In nowadays modern society, there are plenty of different media to spread information and knowledge. Here I am...

Writing Feedbackssachsieh - Jun 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2010

What I like apart from having fun.

3 - Thank you.It's as if you was on my mind.I,m looking forward into releasing anathor thread....

Writing FeedbackCharz - Jun 2, 2010 / Charz - Jun 4, 2010

TOEFL: NEWS ABOUT CELEBRITIES

7 - hi~~ Nowadays, it is very easy to hear the news about the personal lives of famous people such as...

Writing Feedbackhatung94 - Jun 1, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - Jun 4, 2010

Equal number of students:IETLS essay

4 - the indispensable role of education in a man's life cannot be overlooked: i meant to talk about importance of...

Writing FeedbackaJ_M_65 - May 18, 2010 / aJ_M_65 - Jun 4, 2010

comparison between 5 countries, asking about Ielts writing task one

3 - thank you very much...

Writing Feedbackrashahanna - Jun 1, 2010 / rashahanna - Jun 4, 2010

SAT essay: Is censorship sometimes justifiable?

10 - Hi Jesslyn, I became a fan of your writing. I read your other posts. It was very interesting...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 20, 2010 / renga78 - Jun 4, 2010

In some countries at the age of 18 young people are allowed to drive, vote and mar

5 - In some nations, it is common that, young people at around 18 years are allowed to vote, drive and...

Writing Feedbackrenga78 - Jun 2, 2010 / phuocqui - Jun 3, 2010

'Imperfection is beauty' - If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road

3 - Imperfections, or bumps in the road are mere fragments that are there for a reason. (I crossed out part...

Writing Feedbackaubrey - Jun 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 3, 2010

I analyzed the lyric "Temptation Waits" by Garbage

3 - Thank you very much!~ :)...

Writing Feedbackghgyfkd1 - May 31, 2010 / ghgyfkd1 - Jun 3, 2010

Quammen vs. Scully: my Essay that compares and analyses two texts

2 - Hi there, We are lucky to have such an outstanding writer participating in our forum. I see that...

Writing Feedbackmisspellar - Jun 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 2, 2010

Compare and Contrast Essay- sibling/no sibling

2 - Christian, how weirdly self-effacing it is to combine consonant sounds from your first and last name to produce "Crud"......

Writing Feedbackhaeddleman - May 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 1, 2010

Nowadays young children are using mobile phones

4 - Here is a quick lesson about has and had: It has become a custom that every children need to...

Writing Feedbackrenga78 - May 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jun 1, 2010

TOEFL: "couch potato"; How do movies or television influence people's behavior?

NEW - Watching television and movie are become a common entertainment in our daily life. In my opinion, movies and television...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - Jun 1, 2010 / — -

Agree or disagree that progress is always good? Yes it is always good!

4 - Thanks a lot Kevin and for homework as well. Your feedback was very encouraging. Will keep writing ......

Writing FeedbackUmeda - May 28, 2010 / Umeda - Jun 1, 2010

IELTS ESSAY: INFLUENCE OF LARGE FACTORY

3 - The main disadvantage is contamination. It is true that some areas are suffering the dire consequences caused by overdeveloping...

Writing Feedbacksheldon - May 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 31, 2010

Healthy life style

4 - Thank you, I try to improve my essay...

Writing FeedbackJuliaS - May 27, 2010 / JuliaS - May 31, 2010

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and playing

3 - Your comments were absolutely fantastic. Along with your correction you mentioned the reason to emphasis why schools are important...

Writing Feedbackrenga78 - May 29, 2010 / renga78 - May 30, 2010

Income gap is necessary to sustain a society to run dynamically; sports professionals earn big money

4 - Mustafa, don't you think it's important to help people in different ways depending on their level of skill with...

Writing Feedbackcathyliu - May 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2010

IELTS ESSAY : PREPARED FOOD

3 - This is great, thanks for making this an excellent thread. I'll add some ideas: Nowadays, more and more...

Writing Feedbacksheldon - May 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2010

Why We Crave Horror Movies

3 - It is great that you do not include lots of unhelpful words and phrases, like some writers do. Yet,...

Writing Feedbackreeseinskool - May 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2010

CAPE poetry essay, experiences of trauma in the Caribbean

3 - Thanks, i appreciate it. I did not even realise that i had made so many mistakes. Also, i am...

Writing Feedbackhustlerprince - May 27, 2010 / hustlerprince - May 30, 2010

TOEFL: What I would change in my hometown if I could

5 - thx~everyone...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - May 27, 2010 / kevinhsin1124 - May 30, 2010

Students should be required to attend classes; may need explanations of teachers

5 - the teachers can find out what the students still do not understand or misunderstand and then explain ... ...

Writing Feedbackphuocqui - May 24, 2010 / sheldon - May 29, 2010

TOEFL: Improve Roads or Public Transports

3 - I'm so glad Azeri is here helping people. Thanks!! Many people think that governments should spend money on...

Writing Feedbackhatung94 - May 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 27, 2010

Online Education Myths, peer review assignment

4 - Yep, maybe it'll be me, or maybe it'll be someone else, but you can get help here! :-)...

Writing FeedbackHigherEducation - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 27, 2010

Has the Chinese government changed after the Tiananmen Square Massacre?

2 - Hello, I think you need to proofread your essay better. There are quite a few grammatical errors, some...

Writing Feedbackken349137 - May 26, 2010 / puroodsy - May 27, 2010

SAT Essay: Are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?

3 - Thanks for all the comments! 'Chimerical' is a word I picked up from the SAT word list. It...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 25, 2010 / puroodsy - May 27, 2010

PEOPLE SHOULD CHANGE THEIR JOBS ATLEAST ONCE - FEEDBACK

NEW - If we are to compare the job flexibility of today's generation and those of 20 years back. We can...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 27, 2010 / — -

Classification essay- Modern students's learning style

5 - For a long time, studying have has been a significant issue among human beings. That is the only...

Writing FeedbackHUTAllen - May 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010

Computer based Instructions ! Good or bad.

4 - Yes, good corrections here. You have some options: Computers represent one of the... or The computer is one of...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010

ESSAY - READING ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS INSTEAD OF EDUCATIONAL BOOKS - FEEDBACK

2 - Capitalize the titles of books. If we are to compare the difference between the reading habits of today's...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2010

IELTS ESSAY : FINANCIAL AID TO DEVELOPING COUNTRIES

4 - thanks for your generous help!!...

Writing Feedbacksheldon - May 24, 2010 / sheldon - May 26, 2010

Art history paper about looted artwork during WWII

NEW - I just need general feedback like if my sentences and grammar make sense and if I'm answering the question...

Writing Feedbackqueensuri - May 25, 2010 / — -

Factory is always links to the pollution problem

2 - I'll give some help here, too. I hope you will tell us if you have questions about the changes...

Writing Feedbackkevinhsin1124 - May 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 25, 2010

Should crimes committed many years ago be forgotten? - Essay writing advice

7 - Well, some sentences like the one above are very, very impressive. You write like someone who is...

Writing Feedbacklentan - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 24, 2010

IELTS TASK 2 : Study abroad (advantages and disadvantages)

3 - Comments: - Grammatical mistakes are quite visible, proving you not to have proofread. This field of errors includes...

Writing FeedbackNguyenXuanKien - May 23, 2010 / triplesmickey - May 23, 2010

People are moving in to the big cities for more comfortable and convenient life

10 - Mickey, you seem seriously interested in helping people. Everyone participating in this thread made such a unique contribution; I'm...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 23, 2010

Art Self-Evaluation piece: the process of creating your art portfolio

2 - I have had to take a long look at the last four years in LaGuardia & my art through...

Writing FeedbackJd87rh - May 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 22, 2010

Technology, one offspring of science, is a world of imagination being made true

7 - to some extent* :? Interesting way of approaching the prompt. placing down arguments for the assertive and...

Writing Feedbacktriplesmickey - May 12, 2010 / meisj0n - May 22, 2010

It is easy to welcome innovation and accept new ideas

2 - Is this really how they wrote the statement? It is a run on sentence. I would do...

Writing FeedbackGary1986 - May 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 22, 2010

Today we have a variety of food and we have various choices to prepare food

3 - I also think that eating "fast food", whether it McDonald's or the Olive Garden it's not as healthy as...

Writing FeedbackArshin - May 21, 2010 / haeddleman - May 21, 2010

Music and art in school essay

6 - In conclusion, undoubtedly, this is the era of computers and science. Therefore, schools must be flexible enough to...

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2010

ESSAY- Comment on freedom on choice of clothing in schools - FEEDBACK

2 - No comma necessary here: School is the place which lays foundation ... progress or their overall personalities ....

Writing Feedbackprince303 - May 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2010

Marine Pollution Introductory paragraph

2 - Source of survival is a strange phrase. It might be better to write: Water is the most crucial factor...

Writing Feedbackeveehp - May 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010

My hero, Terry Fox born in Canada

3 - Yes, that is true. It seems that Namon is struggling to improve her/his English, though, so let's help...

Writing Feedbackthailand - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010

Parents should encourage their high school students for part time jobs !

4 - Working twenty years at an inconsequential job may not give as much satisfaction as a highly prolific and demanding...

Writing Feedbackshalini singh - May 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2010

SAT: even though having a good leader is important, we should not blindly follow his decision

5 - Thank you for your advice :)...

Writing Feedbackpuroodsy - May 18, 2010 / puroodsy - May 20, 2010

TOEFL: THE INTERNET - problems or information? 'most powerful media'

5 - "First of all" phrase appears to be very useless. It determines lesser readers' devotion. In fact, most makers who...

Writing Feedbackdjanat - May 4, 2010 / triplesmickey - May 20, 2010

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