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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 463)

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Should people let their feelings guid them?

4 - Yes, that's right. The thesis should go right at the end of that short first paragraph you have. Now,...

Writing FeedbackHarmonSa - Nov 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
endangered animals - toefl 48

3 - ...space cannot necessarily be the best way to achieve long-term development and sustainability. ...would disagree with this point;...

Writing FeedbackClaire C - Nov 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
'Financially a better choice' - Rogerian Argumental essay On Wal-Mart

2 - Like for any big corporation, Wal-Mart often faces lawsuits and accusations ; for... Wow, many people would disagree...

Writing Feedbackdjon_md - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
Not Easily Broken: An Examination of Friendships(english essay)

2 - ...That is what Amir is thinking before he commits the sins against his friend... I really like how...

Writing Feedbackdbom17 - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
"People just keep changing"; What motivates people to change? For SAT

5 - Your first sentence is great!! Ha ha, your cool personality is reflected in your comments before the essay....

Writing FeedbackHarmonSa - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
Toefl writing about "agree or disagree"

3 - You should write: ...use the protected areas... instead of "protecting areas." And use a comma here: ...animals die...

Writing Feedbacksusan323 - Nov 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 5, 2009
"a helpless laboratory mouse in the US schools" - College Essay

6 - haha, you are welcome. I'm also new to this forum, registered only 2 days earlier than you. I think...

Writing Feedbackgcsm04523 - Nov 4, 2009 / HarmonSa - Nov 5, 2009
45 min CLEP essay: "Should acts of hate be criminalized?"

3 - Thank you so much! I have a test very soon... and it has to be written in 45 min......

Writing Feedbackcelesteshimizu - Oct 31, 2009 / celesteshimizu - Nov 4, 2009
happiness definition and factors influence in achieving happiness - consensus of opinions

4 - As much as possible ensure your first sentence is devoid of spelling or grammatic errors. Thinhtvdhtm, iT IS THERE...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 30, 2009 / west - Nov 4, 2009
TOEFL ESSAY--- The most important characteristic a friend should have

2 - I think you should tell the reader that your friend enabled you to complete the problems by teaching you....

Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Nov 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 4, 2009
Arguementative/Persuasive essay on camping

2 - How about "camping can take many forms" instead of "definitions?" Camping to one person can mean seclusion in...

Writing Feedbackbrianw - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 4, 2009
Non-academic subjects should be removed from school. Agree or not?

6 - thanks so muhc Mustafa1991 as you see, my E is not good, so i cannot point out my own...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Nov 3, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Nov 4, 2009
TOEFL essay large firm and small company - higher income in a large one

4 - I like your essay... I preferred to working in the big firm. I will definitely benefit from their experience...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Nov 3, 2009 / bilal ABUZENAH - Nov 3, 2009
Can happiness be defined? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

2 - Hapiness is an experience people wish to have. How to measure or define it has been a controversial topic...

Writing Feedbackwest - Nov 3, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Nov 3, 2009
The View out my Widndow and what it means

2 - If you want to talk about meandering, use commas: As I meander into the kitchen, I glance through...

Writing Feedbackperejdam - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
My friend recommended me to read "The Great Blue Yonder"

2 - This is so good! However, you seem to be using yonder incorrectly. Google it. I think it refers to...

Writing Feedbackcryingpiggy - Nov 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Does music pay a important role in people's life?

2 - I particularly enjoyed reading this essay because I myself am a musician and understand where you're coming from :)...

Writing Feedbackmandyhhhhhhhh - Nov 3, 2009 / rechungp - Nov 3, 2009
sending criminals in jail or offering them education & job training

3 - Thank you Kevin. I deeply appreciate your modification and advice.The next article, I will try my best to avoid...

Writing Feedbackmandyhhhhhhhh - Oct 31, 2009 / mandyhhhhhhhh - Nov 3, 2009
argumentative journal : "Being a Victim of American Popular Culture" -feedback

3 - well okay...I'll revise it again,thanks. I need your help after I do my revision Sean ^^...

Writing Feedbackdinda - Oct 30, 2009 / dinda - Nov 2, 2009
help revise wording or grammer, about aero-model

2 - Wow, very impressive. you started 2 sentences with "By." How about this for the second one: We took...

Writing Feedbackconnan0702 - Oct 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 2, 2009
'demand for comprehensive talents' - People attend college or univ. for a reason

2 - I'd like to say that, you organize this essay very well and the 1st and 2nd paragraphs of the...

Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Nov 2, 2009 / Hellgreeting - Nov 2, 2009
Ode to a nightingale by John Keats

2 - ...and thoughts by using multiple techniques different ways . It looks like you need one more sentence in...

Writing Feedbacklazord - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Poetry Analysis Essay: Dylan Thomas- "Do Not Go Gently into That Good Night"

2 - In that first sentence, you don't need a comma after the title of the work. Hey, what does...

Writing FeedbackRod_Farva - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
"Human needs..": Disagree or agree.

2 - Wow, nice job. You will do very well, for sure. If you want to make this even better,...

Writing FeedbackFloria_ran - Oct 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
The knowledge from books and knowledge from experience are, in fact, two diffrent stages of learning

3 - Thanks for your feedback. This essay i m preparing for IELTS exam. cheers Kumar...

Writing Feedbacklucidmanner - Oct 29, 2009 / lucidmanner - Nov 1, 2009
Should Euthanasia be legalized?

16 - There are simple MLA formats that you can google online it helped me a whole lot when writing my...

Writing Feedbackjohnnylin_24 - Oct 20, 2009 / jaimeealexis - Oct 31, 2009
A licence to Write ?

11 - I lived some years in Bethesda, near Washington DC. My neighbor had a very cynical attitude towards Indians and...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Sep 19, 2009 / Rajiv - Oct 31, 2009
TOEFL: doing a part time job?(agree or disagree)

2 - The grammar here needs a lot of work. Two tips to get you started on your revisions: 1....

Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 30, 2009
Changes in the world in the coming century?

4 - You can use a dash: ...century -- achievements as well as hardships . This is all very...

Writing Feedbackvothiha - Oct 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 30, 2009
[TOEFL]Parents are the best teachers? Yes, they know their children better

2 - This is not really a mistake, but I'll just make a suggestion: From my point of view, I agree...

Writing Feedbackyin - Oct 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 30, 2009
Food preparation became more convenient than it used to be

3 - Thanks a lot Kevin! I hope so!...

Writing FeedbackMNA - Oct 29, 2009 / MNA - Oct 30, 2009
TOEFL - prefer large or small company? Large - stable jobs and fine salaries

4 - it is a contrast essay, so your structure is wrong. mention both merits and demerits , besides what overweighs...

Writing FeedbackAnly - Oct 16, 2009 / fuhuanluck - Oct 30, 2009
"television programme production essay" Introduction feedback.

2 - And that's the problem, right there. Your essay so far is vague and wordy, instead of specific and...

Writing Feedbackkors88 - Oct 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 29, 2009
take up the endangered animals' habitat - toefl essay

5 - I think you should read a lot of articles in English. That way, you can learn not only how...

Writing FeedbackLapland - Oct 27, 2009 / brood910 - Oct 29, 2009
How to give a presentation with ease and confidence?

3 - Thank you for your praise. ­I know the language is my largest barrier that prevents me from stating my...

Writing Feedbackvothiha - Oct 26, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 29, 2009
Contrast viewpoints of the author and the lecturer about using cell phone

4 - tuanlnc have a hard look the reasons cause accidents and should not focus only on using cell phone. >>>...

Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Oct 21, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 29, 2009
I have to write an essay on both "The Storm" & The Story of an Hour"

3 - hardwork...

Writing FeedbackmrsArias - Oct 28, 2009 / killerwind - Oct 29, 2009
Personal Essay- A leader is who I became

2 - Nice logical flow. That's good. In the first sentence--I don't think countries are serviced, but served. Also, 911...

Writing Feedbackvbdesichick - Oct 28, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 28, 2009
TOEFL IBT: SCHOOL EDUCATION OR SELF STUDY (CONTRAST)

4 - It's better. The idea is clearer this time. Admittedly independent study is more convenient. However, principles, communication and cooperation...

Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 26, 2009 / litingjiao - Oct 28, 2009
Rice contribution essay - 'my experience and ability to seek solutions'

2 - Here is the good way to use a colon: ...lived in three different countries: China, New Zealand and...

Writing Feedbackblubunny5 - Oct 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Oct 28, 2009
Eating at Home or at a Restaurant? I prefer HOME

8 - Try rereading your essay and fixing some of your spelling mistakes. It looks to me like you kind of...

Writing Feedbacksaadatyar - Oct 11, 2009 / juliat cung - Oct 27, 2009
"TV is a such idiot box."; INFLUENCE of TV and MOVIES on people's behavior

9 - you can use the good dictionary to check grammar errors by yourseft and the option of Word Window by...

Writing Feedbackalina967 - Oct 22, 2009 / vothiha - Oct 27, 2009
Brave New World and Today's Societal Parallels

5 - @mattsaysfierce- I would certainly hope you turned yours in! I am in your class and I stayed home today...

Writing Feedbackdonfilipe - Oct 27, 2009 / donfilipe - Oct 27, 2009
Even though some of the ads are beneficent, we should have discretion for national purchase

4 - The whole essay is too short. You just give us a general idea but you want to use examples...

Writing Feedbackung0911 - Oct 24, 2009 / litingjiao - Oct 26, 2009
Why is music important to many people?

4 - Most people would say because the music became popular since it has been used in advertisement business. no...

Writing Feedbackbaitassel - Oct 25, 2009 / fuhuanluck - Oct 26, 2009
"Gross National Happiness" as a measurement of the success of the country. Maryland Essay #4 review

2 - If you know it is a cliché, why not come up with a more original phrasing. ...

Writing Feedbackplaya25 - Oct 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
Win is always your if you do fight from your deep heart. A success does not depend from luck.

8 - Your thesis should probably be something along the lines of "Success often requires a combination of good luck and...

Writing Feedbackalina967 - Oct 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
Abortion: Why it should be Illegal.

2 - Your essay is too shallow. I don't know if you have time to fix it before you hand it...

Writing Feedbackjuliat cung - Oct 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 26, 2009
the time from birth to twelve years is the most important period in life time?

3 - hi Clare Healy, thanks for your comment however, i find that your comment is less useful what i need...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009
Intrusive, friendly & polite; What are the qualities of a good neighbor.\?

3 - Last bot but not least Next day I drop by my neighbor to give my excuse about last evening....

Writing Feedbackbaitassel - Oct 24, 2009 / thinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009
Is it better to marry someone who is similiar to you? or different wth you?

3 - humm!! yeah.... thank you sir... i just realize......

Writing Feedbackjimmi - Oct 25, 2009 / jimmi - Oct 25, 2009
Compare and contrast of my children

4 - Better. You can still tighten things up a bit, though. This is fine, but you go on...

Writing Feedbackbrianw - Oct 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 24, 2009
floria_ran

3 - I am extremely thank you. I will do my best to solve this problem. May I ask you one...

Writing FeedbackFloria_ran - Oct 24, 2009 / Floria_ran - Oct 24, 2009
[TOEFL] All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

13 - People like Mozart are going to learn music and art whether it is in school or not. So that...

Writing Feedbackyin - Oct 16, 2009 / EF_Stephen - Oct 24, 2009
Mobile phone merits and defects.

3 - Thanks for your correction and advice. I am bad at English, so i need more practice....

Writing Feedbackung0911 - Oct 22, 2009 / ung0911 - Oct 23, 2009
TOEFL: Should parents make an important decision for their children??

5 - Different from opinion above, I think it's nice to write something little bit emotional. It's rare to see someone...

Writing FeedbackRosejoker - Oct 3, 2009 / linhexi - Oct 22, 2009
studying the past has little value. do u agree or not? why?

2 - Your point is Okay, though I think you could revise some sentences like: First of all, studying the...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 22, 2009 / linhexi - Oct 22, 2009
write to thank a local businessman for giving large sum of money to the club....

3 - Noted. Thanks alot. I will try to improve on it. How about the details I have written? Is there...

Writing Feedbackdylantcp - Oct 21, 2009 / dylantcp - Oct 22, 2009
life in prison is better punishment than death penalty

5 - Yes, I gathered that. But you have to explain why one should hold that view if you want...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Oct 22, 2009
"Teach for India" why?

3 - Thanks a lot for givining the feedback..i will rewrite and send it again with keeping all the point u...

Writing Feedbackruchika kumari - Oct 21, 2009 / ruchika kumari - Oct 22, 2009

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