Writing Feedback / It is essential to choose the right color scheme for hospital and office decor [2]

Writing IELTS Task 2
Question :
Psychologists have known for many years that color can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to color schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals.

How true is this statement? How far does color influence people's health and capacity for work?

It is essential to choose the right color to be applied in offices and hospitals decoration as a result of its effect for people's health and work capacity. Many psychologists claimed that certain colors can influence people's mood so I believe that colors have strong effect for people's health and work. Blue, green and white are the best colors to be applied in hospital because they have a healing effect to make the patients feeling calmness, while bright and attractive colors like light yellow or sky blue will increase the workers' creativity in the office.

Most hospitals use white as the wall's color because it is believed that it can reduce the patients' pain while undergoing the treatment. Blue and green also give the same effect as white so that it is usually used in several rooms in the hospitals like in the consulting room and the bathroom. A survey conducted in Indonesia involving all patients in 20 hospitals results almost 90% of respondents choose white, blue and green as the colors in hospital's room that make them feel comfortable.

Talking about working place, colors affect the employees' creativity as well. Certain colors like bright yellow or blue maximize the lighting in the office so it is good for the workers to finish their job. Some design companies in London also change the wall's color in their office annually which aims to raise the creativity and new idea from the workers.

So, that is really clear that colors can influence people especially in health and creativity. It is important to use white, blue and green as the decoration in the hospitals due to creating the pleasant atmosphere. It also works for the offices which apply bright colors on the wall to increase the workers' creativity.

Writing Feedback / Human impact gives the bigger influence as the threat to plant life rather than the natural events. [2]

Writing IELTS Task 1 - The number of extinctions of plant and animal species

The line graph presents the number of extinctions of plant and animal species in tropical forests between 2000 and 2100, while the factors causing plant life extinction are illustrated in the pie chart. Overall, the peak of plant and animal species extinction will happen in 2060. Then, human impact gives the bigger influence as the threat to plant life rather than the natural events.

From 2000 to today, almost 10,000 per million plant and animal species are extinct. This number will more and more increase sharply, and it is estimated reaching in peak in 2060 at 50,000 per million species. This fantastic number, however, will experience a gradual decrease in 2060 onwards to less than 30,000 per million species in 2100.

Specifically for plant life, the biggest threat causing the extinction comes from human impact which the percentage is fivefold bigger than natural event factors. Agriculture becomes the highest percentage affecting the plant extinction as much as 18.7 percent. Two other sectors which give much influence to the plant life are harvesting at 14.4 percent and development at 10.4 percent.

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Writing Feedback / Congestion and air pollution problems will not be over until the government applies the high tax [2]

TASK 2
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Congestion and air pollution problems will not be over until the government applies the high tax for the people who have private vehicles more than one in order to decrease the number of private vehicles. Although increasing the price of petrol is considered to be a solution for this issue, this essay explains it is not the best way because Indonesia has ever raised the cost of the fuels, but the demand of private cars still increases recently. Finland can be a model country which succeeds in solving these problems.

Most of developing countries face the increasing number of vehicles which is the main cause of traffic jam and air pollution. Indonesia had tried to set the higher cost of petrol which is expected to be a way to reduce the number of private cars. However, it is more likely to be useless since the residents still afford to purchase the private cars even though they have to pay more expensive cost to fulfill the need of petrol.

Apparently, Indonesia must learn very much from Finland. As one of the healthiest countries in the world which has less pollution and traffic jam, Finland defines the high tax for private vehicles for their inhabitants. This regulation makes the alteration in people culture to more utilize the public transport than purchase the new car, so that it contributes to the decrease of traffic jam and air pollution in this country.

The key of success to solve growing traffic and pollution problems is the firmness and the consistency in applying the regulation about high tax for private cars. As long as it is controlled well, it is not impossible that Indonesia can be a country with a new face ―people can get the fresh air every day and the congestion is just a past.

Writing Feedback / There are five stages to process the raw materials into the commercial cement [2]

Writing IELTS Task 1 - The Stages of Cement and Concrete Production

The process how to produce cement and concrete as the material of buildings are presented in the diagrams. As seen, there are five stages to process the raw materials into the commercial cement ―crushing, mixing, heating, grinding, and packaging. This is more complex than the concrete production as it only needs a mixing step by adding several materials using in accurate composition in which gravel is the most material needed.

The stages of cement production are started from the crushing process while the limestone and the clay are pooled into the crushing machine until it becomes the powder. After that, the powder enters into the mixer and next it passes through the channel to get in the rotating heater. Finishing the heating process, the powder has to be grinded so that it becomes the cement which is ready to be packaged.

If cement will be used for building purposes, it needs additional materials to produce the concrete. As much as 50% gravel (small stones), 25% sand, 15% cement, and 10% water are mixed into the rotating concrete mixer to make it ready to use.

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Writing Feedback / Language and Science Course Enrolments at Redbrick College of Higher Education [NEW]

The line graph presents how many students who registered in language and science courses at Redbrick College of Higher Education during the ten-year period. Overall, the students are more and more enthused to follow the language class than the science class d. The science course did not experience a significant change in the number of students in the same period while the number of students who enrolled in the language class had an upward trend.

In the first year, there were 98 students who followed in science class, about a half more than the number of students in language class. We can see that the initial number of students experienced a gradual increase and reached in peak at 118 students in the next two years, while the latter numbers showed the reverse and fell to 35 students. However, the next year onward until year 7 presented that the students in the science class plummeted to 85 students whilst the number of students in the language class increased dramatically to 85 students. In this time, both had a same number of students.

The language students have been an increase number and reached at 105 students from year 7 to present. It was different from the science students who have been fluctuated, falling to over 50 students in year 8 and up to 95 students at present, ten students less than the language students.

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Writing Feedback / Using Security Cameras in the Supermarket [2]

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

As a development in security, using a sophisticated technology such a camera in the public area like in the supermarket is more and more increase. It aims to capture all activities happening in the supermarket to prevent a stealing case while the buyers are often unaware to be monitored. Although the cost to apply it is quite expensive, I really believe it effectively helps the keepers to oversee the bustling in the supermarket in order to prevent a crime such a stealing.

Several shops decide not to use the cameras to keep watching the condition around. It is more likely to ensue as a camera with a high resolution and good quality has a high price at approximately over 100 dollars per item. Taking an example, a manager of violet supermarket in New Jersey admitted that he preferred to utilize the income to maintain the building and to supply new products than installing the security cameras in the supermarket. He also argued that it was the shopkeepers' job to watch the purchasers while they were picking the products. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that the keepers sometimes are careless to monitor manually, then the stealing can be occurred.

Placing the security cameras in the every corner of supermarket is considered to be the best way to capture a stealing case. Although it needs a high cost, the business will not experience the disadvantage because of missing their products. A data from world technology magazine in 2012 shows a number of rustlings in the most of supermarket in some Asian countries is successful to be revealed and the doers can be arrested due to the recording by the security cameras. In addition, it can also be an alternative device to find such a bag or wallet of the purchasers which is left out in the supermarket.

By the reason, the expensive price of the cameras is not being a problem if it is compared with its advantages in order to prevent the stealing. Monitoring the condition in supermarket by using cameras is expected to be able to decrease the number of stealing cases, so that it will be safer and the business will not lose their benefit.

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS Task 1 : How to process the cocoa and how much its costs [3]

The diagram illustrates the steps how to process the cocoa to be the commercial food, while the allocation of costs needed to produce the chocolate bar is presented in the pie chart. As seen, it needs several stages to change the raw cocoa to be the three new products which are cocoa butter, cocoa powder and chocolate bar. Related to the pie chart, the majority of spending in chocolate bar production is used for ingredients and overheads and for the marketing fee in supermarket.

The raw cocoa have to be grinded first to separate the sustention and the waste. Then, it turns out to be the liquid cocoa as the result. The next is pressing the liquid cocoa which results the cocoa butter and the cocoa powder. The cocoa powder is ready to be marketed in food companies while the cocoa butter is needed by the industrial chocolate to be one of the ingredients to produce chocolate bar, others are liquid cocoa and sugar. These are mixed and the chocolate bar is ready to eat.

Cost of ingredients and overheads and the marketing fee in supermarket contribute the largest amount of spending in chocolate bar production with over 70% of total. About 15% of cost is used for the tax whilst spending for the chocolate company and the farmer come to be the minority.

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Writing Feedback / People today are more and more inclined to utilise electronic media in their social life. [5]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People today are more and more prefarably to utilise electronic media in their social life. Because of its sophistication, it helps human doing communication easier. Although some people think that it has a bad impact on a private relation, I think it gives more advantages outweigh the negative impact if it is used wisely.

There are several reasons why some people feel worry about the media electronic use. The first is it makes them preoccuption and finally neclecting others. They sometimes prefer to spend more time with television or computer than make a conversation or go out with their friends. Addiction on electronic media also makes one tends to ignore other people around, for instance a tenageer who is in full concentration playing a video game sometimes avoids their family talk. The next is many kinds of deception can be possibly done by using internet such as a fake online shop, a fake account and details of a friend, also can ease married people cheating with others. Electronic media, especially social media, sometimes is abused by a group of people, they make an anonym account and start a fight with other users. It is certainly not good for human relationships.

However, people will get more positive effect when they use the electronic media appropriately. It makes many improvements on the personal relationships. Video games, sometimes can be a device to build intimacy with friends or family. They can also make a new community of games lovers. Televison, with its various programmes, also can be an interesting material to be discussed with others. Then, long distance and limited time are not an obstacle anymore to communicate each other because of the internet. Turning on the laptop, connecting to the internet, they will open the world with so many people that can be their friends. Even the internet can reunite old friend and be a tool to find a mate.

To conclude, electronic media has improved the personal relationship of human being. It offers much easiness in communication and should be utilised wisely. Therefore, people will get more benefits than the bad impact.

Writing Feedback / Listening carefully and dealing with people - crucial skills in interpersonal communication at work [2]

The two tables present the most important skill of communication in job according to the people asked in two public surveys in 1997 and 2006. The skills are divided into two forms of communication which are external related to the client and internal related to the communication skills within company.

Overall, not only in 1997 but also in 2006, the most essential skill in external communication was dealing with people, while listening carefully to colleagues was the most main point in internal communication. The percentage of all skills increased from 1997 to 2006, except selling a product or service which decreased at the same time.

Most participants asked also believed that knowledge about products or services and caring for clients were two important things in communication outside company after dealing with people. Selling a product or service was the last skill which was considered as the essential in external relation.

In communication within company, analysing problems together with others and training people were the next essential skills after listening partners of job. The participants considered that making speeches or presentations was not so important skill than other skills.

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Writing Feedback / Opinion that making money is the only one of a business' goal, so a businessman should focus on it [2]

The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

An opinion said that making money is the only one of a business' goal, so a businessman should focus on it. Actually, I cannot agree with that view because money is only one of the outcomes of the business. The most important thing that should be noticed is building trust of public through the enterprise quality improvement.

There is a big gap between a company which has an orientation on money and other which focus on the quality improvement. If money is expected as the main purpose of business, the businessman tends to allow all means, good or bad, to produce more and more money. It will give some disadvantages for others, for instance people often hear about a company which damages an environment only for the sake of profit, or about an enterprise which gives unworthy salary to their workers because giving more salary is considered decreasing the profit of the company. This type of company, at first they will get much money, but after that, it usually cannot survive for a long time because they lose the public support.

In contrast to the business which pay more attention to the quality improvement. They will try hard to give a best product to public without damaging the environment because they focus on the ways to build the public trust. They will learn more and more about how to manage the resources, treating their workers well as giving the salary based on their workload, and preparing to face various posibly challenges in future. This kind of company, at first they cannot make profit fastly, but sooner or later they will be more stable and can survive everlasting. They succed to collect public trust, both the society and the workers.

In conclusion, money is not the main point of a business. The most essential thing of building a company is the enhancement of quality in oder to form peole trust and give advantages for human life. If it is carried out seriously, the company will get more profits not only money but also sustainability of the business.

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS task 1 : the factors of global land degradation and its influence in three region [3]

The main factors of agricultural land reduction in the world which are presented in the pie chart were over-grazing, deforestation, over-cultivation, and other reason. Related to the next table, it shows the percentage of land degradation which was caused by the factors in three zones during 1990s.

Overall, the biggest cause of global land degradation was over-gazing at 35 percent. At the time, over-gazing also was a factor which gave the highest percentage of reduction in Oceania. However, compared to other region, Europe had a largest area of land degradation at 23 percent, followed by Oceania at 13 percent, and the last was North America at 5 percent.

The biggest factor which caused the largest land of the reduction in Europe was deforestation at 9.8 percent, while it was over-cultivation in North America at 3.3 percent. In Oceania, the most reason caused the degradation of agricultural land was over-grazing, with the percentage of land degraded was 11.3 percent. However, it was an interesting fact in Oceania that over-cultivation gave no contribution to the degradation of land while it was quite influential in both North America and Europe.

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Writing Feedback / Visitors should be respectful of the local heritage because it will give them a memorable experience [3]

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every country has their own culture that makes some peope believe that when they travel to a country, they have to adapt with the local customs and the behaviour. However, others argue that the host country should accept the visitors' culture and understand it. In my view, the travellers should follow the customs while the local should preserve their culture but still treat the tourists friendly.

The main reason why travelling to other country is always interesting is because the travellers will experience something new which is different from their usual activities. Not only seeing the scenic landscape but also understanding the local culture make them feeling amazed. Certainly, they have to follow the local customs to really feel the impression. It makes their knowledge broader than when they only stay to not try to have it. It can also be a way to appreciate it. Furthermore, the local will be happy if the visitors want to learn more about their tradition such as the traditional music and dance, their vernacular language, and so on. It makes them priceless even they will treat you as their family.

In addition, the local people have to be kind and accept them in order to make them comfortable during the trip. However, they do not suppose to change their culture into the foreign culture to prevent it from the cultural shift. It is important to remain their unique culture to keep sustainable.

In conclusion, it is important for the visitors to follow the local heritage because it will give them a memorable experience. Also it will be perfect if the local keep their cultures and make a good relation with the visitors.The point is how they can tolerate each other.

Writing Feedback / Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. One of it to dress "smartly". [5]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. Some of them give a requirement that the workers have to dress smartly, while others believe that the work performance is more important than their fashion. In my opinion, dress smartly is an essential value when working, because what the employees wear influences their performance.

All organizations certainly have a rule for their workers to dress smartly. I think 'dressing smartly' does not mean they have to dress formally, with a tie, black shoes, glasses, and a long-sleeved shirt. 'Dressing smartly' means that the employees should wear something suitable with their job field and personality. For example, an art and design company usually gives a freedom for their employees to wear a stuff they like. It is such an attractive and unique fashion or something comfortable that allows them to be more creative. In other case, a consultant, a salesman, or a lawyer who have to meet their client, certainly must be looked professional, natty and elegant in order to make their customs feel impressive.

In contrast to a fire brigade or a laboratory worker, they have to wear a special jacket or a laboratory coat when working. It is important to save them from an occupational hazard that cannot be protected if they wear a shirt with a tie. Other example, google, a big web company does not obligate their employees to dress natty. It is suppose to be comfortable and might be a casual shirt to ease them to find a new idea or creativity.

To sum up, I am sure that dressing smartly gives a positive correlation to the quality of job. The employees have to wear something comfortable and suitable to their job in order to increase their work performance.

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS task 2 : People still can be fashionable without spending much money [4]

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion in an important part of life.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that being fashionable is too expensive, while others argue it is an essential thing to support their appearance. I believe that it is important to be fashionable but it does not suppose to cost much money.

Fashion items, especially the branded stuffs, are often priced so expensive. Some people think it is fair enough because most of them have a high quality as well. In addition, people who need to buy it usually are because of several reasons, such as their job pretension, lifestyle, following their favourite artist, or not want to be looked outdated. They believe that fashionable dress makes them more confident.

However, fashionable appearance is not always about something expensive with a new brand. People can combine their old items or overhaul it to make it stylish. Even if they have to purchase a new one, they have to be smart enough to select a fashionable and high quality dress with a suitable price. A fashionable stuff sometimes has an unbelievable price whereas it can be cheaper in the different shop. In my experience, I have ever found a usual shirt priced three times more expensive than a similar shirt in other clothing store. Of course, it does not make any sense.

In conclusion, what people wear is an important thing to build a good impression. The price also usually has a positive correlation with the quality. However, people have to fix it with their financial capability. They still can be fashionable without spending much money if they are smart enough to mix and match the fashion items or find the stuffs with a normal or cheaper price.

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS task 2 : starting a business instead of working for a company [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation.
Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

"Be a leader, not a follower", is a proverb which often encourages some people to build their own business instead of working for a corporation or institution. They believe that being a businessman is the best way to be rich. For others it is too risky because an enterprise is susceptible to be bankrupt. Still I think the risk is not comparable with many advantages they gain.

Starting a business certainly needs a big effort. At the first time, people have to provide so many resources such as a business plan, asset, human resources, materials, and machines. Sometimes they are necessary to be in debt to the bank to supply the stock. Then, their income is also unpredictable and fluctuated, in contrast to an employee who gets a fixed salary every month. If they cannot survive, they might go bankrupt. They have no much time for their family or friends because they have to focus on developing their business as well.

However, being an entrepreneur has so many advantages that cannot be gained if they work for a company. It can improve their soft skills especially in leadership. They learn how to expand the networking, to manage the workers, time, and other resources, also tend to be more creative to solve a problem. Certainly it needs much fund at beginning but if they succeed to develop their venture, they will be very wealthy. When their firm has been widespread, they do not need to work hard and they have more free time for family and friends, because they already have engaged many employees. Actually, it gives a good impact for a country because it can reduce unemployment rate.

To conclude, I believe that there is no gain without pain. Some challenges will be faced when starting an enterprise and often bring some disadvantages, but at the end, more benefits will come.

Writing Feedback / The correlation between happiness and marriage status in the US [4]

The first bar chart presents the correlation between happiness and marriage status in the US. Both married and unmarried are categorized into four age groups. Related to the second bar chart, it shows the level of happiness on married people based on the children they have.

Overall, the survey proves that the married people are twice happier than the other who are unmarried. Also, having children or not is not so influential on the happiness level of the married people. Married people who have no children also have the happiness ratings nearly the same as the other who have children under 18 years old and 18 above.

All age groups of married people have the percentage of happiness in a nearly same number around 40 - 45 percent, while unmarried people only have 21 - 34 percent. The happiest age of married people is the group at 18 - 29 years old while the unmarried group at 65 years old and over is the happiest than the other. Then, married group who have children under 18 years old is the happiest at 44 percent of the ratings.

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