Writing Feedback / Table London Olympic Games in 2012 - United Stated occupied the highest position [2]

The table gives information about the plenty of medals won in the London 2012 Olympic Games by the top ten ranks of countries. Overall, the rank order was determined by the number of gold medals won; With the exception of bronze, the United States showed its superiority in each kind of medals.

With total medal of 104, United Stated occupied the highest position in this game. It dominated the winning of both gold and silver medal, but in term of bronze, it came second after Russia showing its superiority. China took the second place in the number of medals won with the total of 88 and won 38 gold medals. Meanwhile, even though Russia's total medals was better than Great Britain's, the number of gold medals won by this country was not satisfied as Great Britain's. As a result, Great Britain took the third rank in table and Russia placed in the fourth position. Similarly, although Germany won silver and bronze medals more than South Korea, the rank of this country were lower than South Korea due to the number of gold medals won were fewer, just 11.

Furthermore, Italy and Hungary had the same number of gold medals won, but Italy were ranked higher because of the total medals that they won were more than Hungary. Australia closed the top ten of this rank with 7 gold medals won and its total medals won was 35.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / The household outlays in a state between 1950 and 2010. [2]

The pie chart compares the household outlays in a country between 1950 and 2010. Overall, It is clear that the household expenditures in all items showed an alteration during the time frame. With the exception of housing and education, all figures increased.

According to the graph, in 1950, housing became the majority aspect that societies spent their money for, but this fell dramatically to 22% in 2010. Meanwhile, with only more than one to twenty, education came in the third initially. However, its rate decreased slightly at the end of the period, making it place in the four rate.

Turning to another comparison, with 11,2 percent, food occupied the second position initially while a small proportion was seen in the figure for both transportation and healthcare. The 60 following years showed an increase in these data with around 11% and 2% for transportation and healthcare while a significant proportion by 23% was showed in the food, making it dominate all figures at the end of the period.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Highest cost of housing in United States and lowest for transportation in Japan - Bar Chart [2]

The bar chart gives the information about the proportion of expenditure on five different needs in 4 developed countries in 2009. Overall, except Japan, all countries spent their money on housing.

According to the chart, it is shown that Japan had the highest percentage on food at 23%, but this country becomes the least percentage on transportation at 10%. Furthermore, United States predominated on housing and health care at 26% and 7%, while it was the lowest position on food and clothing. In the same time, Canada reached the best percentage on clothing and transportation even though it was the last position in housing.

Turning to the internal comparison among the needs in every country, Japan and United Kingdom becomes the top spot on housing category, while these countries were the last position on transportation. By contrast, United States and Canada had the highest rate on transportation, but they were the least percentage on food. In case of clothing, except United States, all countries spent their budget for such category.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Plenty of books had been read by women and men from 2011 to 2014 at Burnaby Public Library [2]

The line chart gives information about a plenty of books which had been read by women and men from 2011 to 2014 at Burnaby Public Library. Overall, despite having an upward trend, both of them showed a different increasing rate.

According to the chart, in 2011, more women read book at Burnaby Public Library with around 5,000 while a slight number at 3,000 was showed in men. This leads to a narrowed gap between them. On the other hand, in 2014 a number of books that has been read by male experienced a considerable increase by 11,000 whereas a less marked increase showed in the figure for female and therefore the gap between them was widened.

A more detailed look at the graph shows that, between 2012 and 2013 female readers increased slightly to 10,000, while a considerable growth showed in males in the same year, causing an intersection. Next, while a marked decrease was seen in female readers, the figure for men increased significantly to 14,000 at the end of the year, successfully overtaking woman figure and reaching its peak.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Discussion about People Taking More Than One Job. Working life today is different than in the past. [2]

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future!

Working life today is different than past generation and people have to take more than one professions for the rest of their life. It is caused by highly necessities of human life. Therefore, people should restrict their necessity and just bought what they needed than wanted, to reduce their outcome.

It is known that in recent days, people are taking more than one profession due to the high cost of human life. It happens because the necessity of humans such as accommodations, clothes, and refreshments always gradually increase every year. As a result, people have to add the others income for sufficing their necessities because their salaries cannot accommodate it. Research from California University in 2009 claimed that the necessities of humans are growing by 5% than 2008. By this study, it is believed that people tend to take more than one job as the impact of constantly increase human necessities cost.

Furthermore, to face this trend, people have to minimize their necessities for managing their income. It means that people must restrict with their necessities for balancing between incomes and outcomes. The result for this is that people can save much money and use it for the long-term investment. A current study by University of Manchester in 2010 found that 67% of people who economical have a good significant in their savings. Thus, it is true that minimizing of human necessities can help them to manage their finance for the future.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that people have to manage their finance because nowadays human necessities are becoming high. It is important for them in order to reduce a number of people which takes more than one job.

Writing Feedback / Water in the sea increases and even surpass all limits. Problem Solution as Impact of Climate Change [2]

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human face in the 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?

In the 21th century, climate change is one of the biggest problem that people face which makes amount of water in the sea increase and even surpass the limit. Consequently, it makes several areas near by the sea experiences flood and humans have to built dam or canal to reduce amount of water.

It is generally believed that when sea levels increase and through the limit rate, flood in coastal area is hard to avoid. Flood occurs as several areas are covered by the large amount of water. The result for this is that people cannot do their daily activities and also a plenty of diseases are coming to strike the citizens. Research from University of Tokyo in 2011 found that 65% of flood areas through the world have a lot of infection such as malaria.

However, these problems can be solved by building dam alongside the shoreline. A dam is a barrier that prevents water from going into the land area. The benefits of this are not only suppress floods but also provide water for human activities such as irrigation and alternative resources. A good example to illustrate this is that Netherland use dam for providing water since 1905 and it makes their country becomes the best agricultural systems across the world.

All in all, it is acceptable that people have to build dam in the shore side as a consequence of flooding in several areas around the sea. And also the government has to allocate their fund for supporting such an idea.

Writing Feedback / Discussing on the advantages and disadvantages of online computer games for chilren [3]

Some people think that online computer games are useful for children, while other claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer games for children?

Online games are valuable by several people for children, while others think it is bad for them. It is believed that even though children can learn about new languages and knowledge on this game, the usually forgetting about their responsibility to study well in particular subjects.

It is generally known that with online computer games, children can broaden knowledge. It happens because online games have an unique ways for packaging their features and children playing this games can indirectly learn about new skills and abilities. Research from University of Queensland in 2010 found that 65% of children who often playing online games have showed a great understanding toward their lesson in school. Therefore, it is true that online games are useful for children to develop their knowledge.

On the other hand, the negative effect of online computer games is that children usually ignore their responsibility to study. They more often visit computer games centers because it is more interested for them rather than doing their homework. The impact from this activity is that they get a bad result in many subjects. The same research in 2010 by University of Queensland claimed that 75% of children who playing online computer games have a bad grade in schools. It is acceptable that online games make children leave their time for studying.

Overall, this essay is discussing about the advantages and disadvantages about online computer games for children. The benefit of this issue is that children can learn about new education, and the drawback is that children ignore their responsible as students.

Writing Feedback / It is known that cities can be free from pollution if the factories are relocated to regional area [3]

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and business to move to regional area outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In several countries, industry and business offices have to be relocated to district areas due to council policy. Although the number of pollution can be reduced dramatically, the disadvantages of making industrial companies spent a lot of time and money to built new factories far outweigh any benefits.

It is known that cities can be free from pollution if the factories are relocated to regional area. The reason for this is that factories are the largest contributor toward pollution in the environment, such as the water and the air being affected by rubbish and smoke from industries. Research from California University found that 55% of pollution in the cities is comes from industrial activities. This research then, discovered that cities relocating their factories to regional area, experienced the significant decrease of pollution by 70%. However, this would lessen the local budget earned by the city as tax coming from the factories and business do no longer exist.

On the other hand, to build new industrial offices in small cities, it takes a longer time and also a high cost that companies should spend. It happens because they have to redesign their new factories, calling expert for surveying their location, and also employee experience workers to build the factories. All of these activities cannot take short times and cheap prices. I personally experienced of this issue. When my father wanted to build his factories, it took 2 - 3 years for finishing these projects. This means that the employers have to spend more budgets to succeed the project and therefore the disadvantage of such policy far outweighs its benefit.

In brief, even though cities can be saved from pollution, the high cost that companies have spent for building new factories drawback its benefits.

Writing Feedback / 'A family knows the best way for children' - Childcare Centers Vs Family [5]

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

Some parents said that kindergarten is the best place to learn for children before entering school. While others think that family members are better for children to learn about anything. Even though teachers in pre-school age have experiences to face children with different personality, I believe that just family members have known about the best method for children to study as they have a close relationship.

It is generally believed that teachers in childcare centers are accustomed to teach children with dissimilar personality. It happens because teachers try to be professional in performance of their work and also they have a lot experiences to give good services for children. For instance, a current survey by England Commission for Children Rights found that 75% of parents are comfortable with services in kindergarten and they said that their children have a good development such as linguistic and personality in childcare centers. According to this survey, it is true that teachers in childcare centers are succeed to teach children.

However, close relationships with family members make them know about the best approach to teach children. It caused they know about the strength and weakness of the children, so they can use it to find the best way for teaching children. For example, in 2000 according to research by Melbourne University found that 69% relatives in Australian who do not entering their children to childcare centers have a positive result about the intelligence of their children. It caused by family members are educating children with their own ways and make it compatible with children personality. I believed this view is more acceptable as family members will be better for taking education of children.

To conclude, although pre-school age has good influences on children growth, I prefer to leave children in family members because they have known the best way for children to study as they have a good connection with them.

Writing Feedback / Many countries are allowed children to work in particular areas [4]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as a valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

Many countries are allowed children to work in particular areas. Some people believe that it is important for them, while others said it is completely wrong. Even though children can get a lot of experiences that it does not have in formal education, I believe that they are not ready to face the working life as a mentality and psychology.

It is believed that many experiences that children can get in their working areas rather than in formal education. The reason for this is that they meet a lot of colleagues who older than them, and they can bring a good influences for children. And also, they can learn about how to operate some equipment in their offices. For example, a current survey by Psychologist University of Melbourne in 2009 found that 75% children are happy to work in offices and also satisfy with their new skills that they got in companies. It is true that more experience would be obtained if children take part-time job, but I think the disadvantages of this statement are more than its advantages.

Aside from what explained above, mental and psychology of children are not suitable in working area. The reason for this is that young people are still unstable in choosing the best occupation for them and they are easy to be distracted by the high pressure from working place. For example, in 2007 some lectures from University of Birmingham found that 68% of children who take a part-time job always have a problem with their personality, making them hard to socialize with people surrounding them. I believed this view is more acceptable as healthy development of children should be prioritized.

To sum up, although working areas are offering children a lot of experiences, I think they do not to accept that because their mental and psychology is not willing the working life. I would agree that they have continued their study first before entering cycle works.

Writing Feedback / Many countries have regulation to not allow their citizens to smoke in public areas [2]

In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have regulation to not allow their citizens to smoke in public area and if they want to smoke, they have to leave the main building. I would agree with such an idea because people not smoking can be hampered from inhaling the dangerous smoke and to decrease a number of smokers in their areas.

Generally, people believed that breathing the smoke from smokers is being others person who do not smoking desperately. It is believed that human have to breathe the fresh air to make their respiratory system works normally. Research from Medical Department University of Melbourne found that human have to get 78% oxygen from the air to make their breathing system healthier. As a result, when people cannot keep their healthy because of smoke from cigarette, it makes them in a bad situation.

Moreover, illegally smoking in public areas can reduce a number of smokers in some cities. It is generally believed that when they do not get more space for smoking, it makes them try to stop their bad habits. And also they do not want pay much to government caused by breaking the rule, so they tend to follow the regulation and stop to smoke. For instance in 2008, India government introduced the regulation about illegal activities to smoke in public areas and it is effective to reduce a number of smokers in their countries, which shows 65%. It gives us an example that making limitation areas for smoker can be affect for quantities of them.

In conclusion, regulations for smokers in many countries have an important rule to reduce a number of smokers in their areas. And also it is the other ways to save passive smokers healthy from the dangerous smoke that smokers brought.

Writing Feedback / Working For Money is not the only reason to stay for a long time in the same company [2]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?

Many people think that they have to work in the same office for a long time because of money purpose. I disagree with this statement because passion the employees have and working environment they feel in the workplace are the compelling reasons for such trend.

It is generally believed that workers are not only interested with money in their offices, but also other awards. The reason for this argument is that people feel comfortable to work with their own passion and companies facilitated them with a good opportunity. Besides, employees have their own motivation to be good workers in their offices for regarding rewards by their bosses. For instance, in 2007 University of Yokohama surveyed more than 1,500 workers and they found that 68% of surveyors have motivation to be a good employee in their offices as their target and just 30% workers from this survey said that money purpose is more interested. Therefore, it is shown that money is not the only interesting reward that makes employees satisfy.

Aside from what is explained above, loyalty with their bosses' make people have a long time to work in the same companies. It happens because being close to their boss increase their chance to be the next supervisor in the offices. Obviously, Tim Cook has been working in Apple Companies since 1990 and it makes him become an owner of this company because of his loyalty. Moreover, it gives an example that being loyal for their supervisors makes many employees interested to work longer in the same offices.

All in all, money is not the only employee's reason to stay for a long time in the same companies. Their passion and also a good feeling in their workplace have an important key too for them to work in the same offices for several time.

Writing Feedback / Problem Solving About Pedestrian Areas with polluted air [4]

Have you ever imagined the places which have a considerable amount of oxygen? These days, especially in big cities, it is too difficult for us to find pedestrians zones and places which are free from air pollution. As a consequence, in big cities there are many pollution such as water pollution, dirty places, and also air pollution. Solution for those problems, the big cities must have pedestrian areas to decrease the amount of pollutions. Pedestrian zones in city centre can improve the local environment. As we know, usually in centre of cities there are many problems about pollution and pedestrian areas. If we build a pedestrian zone in the centre of cities, it can make several problems about pollution to be solved. And also when the pedestrian zones are in centre of cities, a large numbers of people are interested to come to theirs because usually centre of cities make an important role for the development of cities. For the example, many European cities have built bicycle lanes. It is very important for cities to have a considerable amount of bicycle lanes or pedestrian lanes to decrease the usage of cars or motorcycle by a large numbers of people. A program to decrease the using of cars and motorcycle makes an important role for decreasing amount of pollution on the earth and especially in big cities.

Banning cars encourages people to walk or cycle. It is not only to make a program to decrease the using of cars and motorcycle, but also to make people healthier. People who walk or cycle regularly are generally healthier because every day, their bodies constantly make an active movement. Unknowingly, they do sports for every active movement like walking and cycling. And also, dependence on cars and motorcycle is linked to health problems like obesity. It can be happening because of when they using a car or motorcycle, their bodies just do a same thing every day. For the impact of that passive movement, you are being a lazy person and make your bodies bigger.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that, pedestrian zones are important for cities, especially big cities to decrease a considerable amount of pollution such as water pollution and air pollution and also to make citizens are healthier.

Writing Feedback / The Key to Family Happiness is Really Simple [3]

This article is made by Amanda MacMilan and talking about how to get happiness in your family. First of all, many research found that going anywhere with your family members can increase your relationships each other and also make you feel happier as part of your family. However, new study which shown by researcher discovered that there was another activity that makes you closer with your family; Spending your time at home with your family makes you feel more happiness and it is more effective way rather than taking vacation together. According to Baylor University which doing surveyed for several people, it is found that people who spent their leisure time by stayed at home is happier than people who traveled with they own families. Karen K. Melton, Ph.D., assistant professor of child and family studies said that it can be happen as our brain is concentrated to develop on new knowledge - for instance being part of new culture and new people in a strange area - just a little 'brain power' available to focus on their relationships with family. Meanwhile, it cannot be occurred when we stay at home, because we can focus to built relationships with our family and it makes us long-lasting happiness.

time.com/4526901/home-time-key-to-family-happiness/?xid=homepage

Writing Feedback / Survey of Workers at Work (Supervisor and Co-workers) [2]

The pie chart gives information about the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationships with their supervisors and their colleagues. Overall, the percentage of relationships with supervisor has a good condition in 2009 higher than 2005. And also the percentage of personal relation with co-workers has good condition in 2009 higher than 2005.

At 2005, survey of relationships with supervisor shows that worker have a very good relation with their boss, which is 61%. The other result of this research found that 26% officers have a good correlation with their supervisor and just 2% have a bad perception about their bosses. At 2009, the percentage of very good relation with supervisor increase 4% than 2005, which shows 65%. Furthermore, just 2% on this year shows that workers have a bad relationship with their leader.

On the other hand at 2005, research of personal relation with colleagues show that employees have a very good relationship with their co-workers, which is 63% and just 1% have a worst perception with other employees. The other result at 2009 found that 70% workers have a very good correlation with their teammates. However, in this year survey, there are no-one officers have a bad relation with other workers.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Students do not continue their study directly after graduated from Senior High School or University [2]

The Advantages and Disadvantages Take a Job between School and University

These days, many students do not continue their study directly after graduated from Senior High School or University because they want to make experiences in working activity. And also, some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. However, it has pros and cons about this decision, which one should you do after graduated.

People who agree to find job before entering school or university believe that if they working first before continue their study, they have a lot of experiences in working areas. It can increase their skills and ability about many things that they do not know before. For instance, when they tried to work in companies which has reputable name, it makes us more common in offices area and also our name in many offices is more famous one. Secondly, you have scholarship from your company to give you chance for entering the next level of your education background. It is important to you because it help you to save much money to use it for other things. As such, you still continue your study within spend much money for it. However, as contradiction opinion about this statement, some people believe that you have to continue your study first before entering school or university because educational background is more important on this era.

All in all, even a lot of advantages and disadvantages about take a job before entering school or university, I prefer choose to find a job first before continue our study because it makes you have more experiences in working activity. And also it helps you to increase your skills and capability about everything that you cannot find in school or university.

Writing Feedback / Talent and Hard Work as an Important Key to be Success [2]

These days, many people want to be a successful and do everything to achieve their goals. Most of them believe that if they have a natural ability and talented, it is easier to achieve their dreams. However, it is not only about "The Gift from God" but also you have to be hard worker to reach your dreams.

If you want to be a famous people, you have to be talented first. Many people who have talented and natural ability are easier to reach their dreams, such as International footballer, Lionel Messi. He realized that he had talented on football, so he started to play it when he was a child. Not for a long time since he started to play football, many academic football club seen his talented and tried to pick him as their part. After that, Lionel Messi becomes a new wonder kid on football world because of his talented.

However, practice hard and regularly is important, too. Even though someone had a talent and natural ability, if they did not do anything to make their ability improved maximally, it makes them to be a poor one. They have to train regularly to improve their capability and also to boost their own talented.

In conclusion, I do not think you can reach your dreams just used your own talent and your natural ability. There are many factors can help you to be famous or successful person, such as you have practice hard and regularly, and also you can pay a trainer to improve your ability. Every people have a different way and history to make their dreams becoming true. As such, when people become successful one with their talent, maybe you can successful too like them with different ways and attitudes.

Writing Feedback / Reasons for Urbanization & Negatives of City Life [2]

Nowadays, many people are moving to big cities or capital cities of the country for many reasons, and especially to get better life. It is going to be happening because they have to do the best for their family to change their status on the society and increase their pride too. I want to give several reasons why people do urbanization to big or capital cities. The first is, many people move to cities in search of job opportunities. In the big cities such as Jakarta, Bandung, and Surabaya, they have a lot of information about job opportunities for many people. A company which exists in big cities must have a lot of employees on their offices and it makes many people interested in moving to big cities. The second is, the big cities offer greater employment possibilities and a higher standard of living. Most of big cities are offering the salary for their employees bigger than the other cities. Because of that, many people are interested in moving to big cities to get a better salary. And also in big cities, there are many good facilities such as transportations, hospitals, and malls, which can make people interested in moving to big cities. For the last, people migrate to cities from the countryside because they cannot find job opportunities anymore in their hometown, which is countryside.

But, there are several contradictive opinions about moving to big cities. The first is, the cost of living in big cities is higher than in rural areas. Because of a higher standard of living in big cities, it means that the cost is higher too than the other cities. The second, some people do not manage to find work in big cities. Actually, big cities have a lot of job opportunities for many people. But in fact, the standard requirement from companies are higher too and it makes most people cannot reach the standard. It can be happened because most of people who moving to big cities, they never thinking about a higher standards to be required of companies. Most of them just think about their motivation to come to big cities for change their status on society.

For the conclusion, even though an urbanizations has a lot of advantages and disadvantages, you must think as clearly as possible before making any decision, especially to think about going to move to big cities or not.