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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 445)

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"If I cannot have freedom, I'd rather not be alive": GRE issue essay

3 - It is one of the essential rights all human beings are entitled to, apart from the infernal ones that...

Writing Feedbackradwa - Sep 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Oct 1, 2010
IELTS - large financial benefits for successful sports professionals

2 - Hi Do Ray! Let's start with the second paragraph -- the first couple of sentences: As I mentioned...

Writing Feedbackfordragon - Oct 1, 2010 / mea505 - Oct 1, 2010
Toefl essay: the contents of TV, movies, games influence young people's behavior.

2 - Hi Wipu again! Boy -- you certainly are writing a lot these days! I must tell you...

Writing Feedbackscarecrowd - Oct 1, 2010 / mea505 - Oct 1, 2010
Essay to describe your brother (Marcos)

6 - thank you all! =)...

Writing Feedbackecmagalhaes - Sep 30, 2010 / ecmagalhaes - Sep 30, 2010
V-chip to block TV channels by parents - agree or disagree?

5 - Thanks for all the ideas that helping me on my essay, especially Mark, you have helped me with my...

Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Sep 29, 2010 / KathyLala - Sep 30, 2010
toefl; Internet had negative effects on civilization

5 - "Escalate" usually refers to something that is "going" or "moving" or "happening" so it is not the best word...

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 30, 2010
Saudi Arabia - one important thing about your country that you would change?

4 - This is a great thread! Thanks everyone. I'll offer some advice below. Zainab, I'm glad you joined, and...

Writing Feedbackzooba - Sep 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 30, 2010
Toefl essay : "Good teachers set challenging tasks for their students?"

2 - Hi Wipu -- As you can see from the first paragraph alone -- while your essay is...

Writing Feedbackscarecrowd - Sep 30, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
SPACE EXPLORATION IS A WASTEFUL ACTIVITY - AGREE?

4 - I am of the view that spending money on space exploration should not be considered as a wasteful activity....

Writing Feedbackupul - Sep 30, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
Parents? It depends on the circumstances of the child, to determine who is the best teacher

5 - Hi George, I have changed the first paragraph of the essay, hoping that you can read it...

Writing FeedbackGeorgesebastian - Sep 26, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
Is studying HISTORY important in the modern world?

2 - Our modern world has placed lesser emphasis on learning the history of our existence which has been creating bigger(GREATER)...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 30, 2010 / kaityh - Sep 30, 2010
Is it important to maintain the extended relative relationship?

2 - Hi! I read through your essay, then I read through some of Kwang's corrections that were made in...

Writing Feedbackfucenying435503 - Sep 30, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
Modern environmental issues cannot be tackled by one person - Essay for TOEFL

4 - Hi, I like your essay. It has good points. However, since you practise for toefl, it is better that...

Writing Feedbackaltus - Sep 19, 2010 / dil - Sep 30, 2010
Choice, privacy, and books: The influence of literature on modern society

2 - Hi Edward! I made a few corrections to your short essay. There are some sentences that, perhaps, need...

Writing Feedbackeddiev - Sep 30, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
Toefl; History/Literature vs Maths/ Science

3 - Hi! Sure, we can offer a different perspective on your essay, but it would be far better (first) if...

Writing Feedbackdil - Sep 27, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 30, 2010
IELTS -Weather it is pointless to keep the traditional skills and ways of life alive

16 - Poland is great! for me..HK or netherlands..either is ok``...

Writing Feedbackfordragon - Sep 18, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 30, 2010
The question is "How have you changed in the last five years?"

6 - Oh, really? Actually, I don't really know how to express that. I always type "hihi..."to my friends. Thank you...

Writing FeedbackTomomi - Sep 20, 2010 / Tomomi - Sep 29, 2010
People are materialistic and work-oriented: PERCEIVED HARDSHIPS

3 - Thank you so much for your help. I will revise this....

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / shofa_nefertete - Sep 29, 2010
TRANSITIONS IN LIFE - taking them with optimism or hatred

5 - thank u so much. I have some problems during revision stage of my essays. I think I need your...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / shofa_nefertete - Sep 29, 2010
We face lot of global problems. Good relations b/w nations is important. Agree or not

2 - Today,we face problems like global warming and terrorism which are having a deterring effect on our society progress.--- you...

Writing Feedbackvarun87 - Sep 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
Task 1: (Australian and British cinema Markets and cinema admissions)

2 - Overall, the U.S. films were the most popular shown by both Australian and British people, and it is clear...

Writing Feedbackjeemi - Sep 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
NARRATIVE ESSAY ON :LEAVING HOME

2 - We always want them in our every moment of our life, whether a t our dejection or exhilaration, but...

Writing Feedbackktmrocker - Sep 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
machines are really useful if you get them rightly; but simple work by hand

4 - Oh, many mistakes at my essay, next time I will be more carefully. Thanks for checking!! :)...

Writing Feedbackbuzzlightyer - Sep 22, 2010 / buzzlightyer - Sep 29, 2010
What's in it for the World - Persuasive Essay

2 - Hey Scott, I'm sorry I did not get to help sooner! I guess I agree. Also,...

Writing FeedbackSWNP - Sep 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
trying new things or doing the same?

5 - I think a good way to add value to your essay would be to back it with examples. You...

Writing Feedbackrosh - Sep 25, 2010 / carlynnross - Sep 29, 2010
Knowledge of book is mandatory to learning new things as well as to continue old incomplete research

3 - Despite theory gives deep knowledge about particular subject, there is no use of that theory if it is not...

Writing Feedbackjems007 - Sep 28, 2010 / jems007 - Sep 29, 2010
TOEFL: Luck Vs Hard work; Which is better? luck may disappoint you easly

5 - Thanks Tomomi...

Writing Feedbacksuve - Sep 28, 2010 / suve - Sep 29, 2010
Spending money on people's basic requirements or travelling to space

3 - Keep it consistent like this: I support the idea of investing money on uplifting the living standards rather than...

Writing Feedbackophogh - Sep 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
Younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math

4 - I think you should check to make sure the quote at the beginning is accurate. I think it seems...

Writing Feedbacktshml1990 - Sep 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 29, 2010
I prefer to let children go for a paid work especially for those who need to earn a living

3 - You mean I should support the second view with more sentences and evidences? I'll try. But the biggest...

Writing Feedbackfordragon - Sep 28, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 28, 2010
IELTS: what sort of knowledge should universities provide to graduates?

8 - I still think that the student should re-work the essay and make it on point, so that it better...

Writing FeedbackVeruska - Sep 23, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 28, 2010
Cars should not be allowed to enter the city center do you agree or disagree?

2 - Hi alahakon! It's you again, eh? You can see from the essay below that it needs some work....

Writing Feedbackn_tina59 - Sep 28, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 28, 2010
TOEFL:Pets should be treated like family & Reasons for why it is so

2 - pets have become people's favorite. People will take care of animals if they are interested in adopting...

Writing Feedbackjems007 - Sep 28, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 28, 2010
Communicating information has been a primary and constant necessity for people

5 - Thanks. I've found that DUE TO is a nice phrase`...

Writing Feedbackfordragon - Sep 7, 2010 / fordragon - Sep 28, 2010
The importance of a computer to college students

NEW - Technology has been dramatically developed worldwide so far in most of social life aspects, especially Internet and telecommunication. In...

Writing Feedbackcandynguyen381 - Sep 28, 2010 / — -
The employees would not stay in one job for various reasons. It's inappropriate.

4 - I also found that if the word "overhead" were to be changed with "liability," the sentence(s) might sound better....

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 28, 2010 / mea505 - Sep 28, 2010
TOEFL: good qualities of a good neighbor; enthusiastic, easy-going, reliable

4 - Mark, thank you soooooo much! your opinions help a lot. Yeah, you are right. I do lose control of...

Writing Feedbackchristie111 - Sep 26, 2010 / christie111 - Sep 28, 2010
The importance of vocational guide in secondary school

4 - Thanh you two very much ^^! I'm not good at using tenses....

Writing FeedbackAlamanda Bud - Sep 18, 2010 / Alamanda Bud - Sep 28, 2010
My Morning Cup of Coffee essay - check for grammar, and spelling!

2 - Hi Hannah, I don't really get what you said in this sentence. "The only thing worse than not...

Writing Feedbackhannah16 - Sep 27, 2010 / Tomomi - Sep 28, 2010
Narrative: an exciting protagonist in Toy Story 2.

2 - The story is built around the protagonist in that the protagonist is always taking the initiative. ------This is a...

Writing Feedbacksoul9 - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010
TOEFL; Decisions should be made alone or not

6 - You take a step, but you MAKE a decision. ...if they are not made after careful thought. ...

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010
a one-page essay (how you relax after getting home from school or work.)

5 - What I Do When I Get Home When I get home every day from my school at 1:30,...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010
Malaysia, Philippines, USA - Biography essay... am I on the right track?

4 - I think it will be better and more interesting if you cut out the first part: This may come...

Writing Feedbackkmango - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010
UNEDUCATED Vs EDUCATED (WHO TEACHES WHO?)

5 - I agree...people learn from experience as well as education, so obviously uneducated people CAN teach educated people. Google...

Writing Feedbackupul - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 27, 2010
Luxury goods market is on the decline: GRE argument essay

2 - The argument argues...this doesn't sound right. How about 'The argument is that...? that due to the declining state...

Writing Feedbackradwa - Sep 24, 2010 / EF_Susan - Sep 26, 2010
Creative Writing Narrative - Academic Decathlon

2 - I'm in the virtual presence of greatness. Here are some ideas for you: Neither one of us paid...

Writing Feedbackaremmegs - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010
A broad essay assignment called "Who Are We?" (antidepressant medication, depression)

3 - "Who are we, as patients or participants in our medical communities?--- for this, you would write a report about...

Writing Feedbackdropbows90 - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010
IELTS essay/ describing the information in the two graphs below

2 - Maria, thanks for doing this! Ana, I think this is the kind of essay that should help you improve...

Writing Feedbackpendar - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010
compare team sports and individual sports

2 - "Let" is okay. "Enable" is better. In addition,team sports make enable us to know lots of abilities. --- actually...

Writing Feedbackdaini219 - Sep 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010
My Writing Soul: Literacy Narrative Assignment First Draft

2 - I grew up writing from an early age, and the fact that I loved reading made me want to...

Writing Feedbackhalogenious7 - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 26, 2010
Students should study alone or in organized groups? IELTS writing task pratice.

5 - Really appreciate your kindness and efforts ....

Writing Feedbackcicely - Sep 19, 2010 / cicely - Sep 26, 2010
"Success is a journey, not a destination" -extended definition essay

2 - I like your essay because it drew me in almost instantly (i was looking aroudn at essays to read,...

Writing Feedbackgingerbbyluv23 - Sep 24, 2010 / ampa - Sep 25, 2010
Home school vs Traditional school. Which would you prefer?

4 - Thanks for both, Tina & Kevin. I'm working on it...

Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Sep 21, 2010 / KathyLala - Sep 25, 2010
COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY AND TRANSPORTATION; sensationalize the gnawing anxiety

2 - The irreversible proliferation of technological advancement in the field of telecommunication and travel paves the way for a modern...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
FAILED MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE; What are the causes of such separation?

5 - Aside from that, lust and infidelity bloom on both partners since one cannot or might not fully suffice as...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
toefl: the best criterion for selecting a person to train others

4 - Yep, I agree. Move on to your next challenge. You are already prepared for the toefl. If this essay...

Writing Feedbacksuve - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
The choice of studying at home by using technology or studying at school?

3 - This issue of selecting the option of studying at home or the option of studying at school is not...

Writing Feedbacksugarycandy - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
Working for a large company - training, work exposure & networking opportunities

2 - ...receive better exposure in contrast to the exposure in a small company. When the organization is large, they...

Writing Feedbackjag - Sep 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
TOEFL;close friends vs casual friends

4 - I think I may have told you this already, but if you write this well you will have no...

Writing Feedbackrosh - Sep 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Sep 25, 2010
EFFECTS OF INDUSTRIALIZATION TO ENVIRONMENT AND ECONOMY

7 - I really appreciate much your comments...

Writing Feedbackshofa_nefertete - Sep 21, 2010 / shofa_nefertete - Sep 25, 2010

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