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|Violence and the youth - two reports
3 - Here are some quick revisions you could make to the essay in your latest post. I'll do 1 line...
Writing Feedbackttc1234 - Apr 28, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 14, 2009
|Essay about violence and violent behavior in the Media
3 - I notice you seem to use a lot of paraphrasing in your essay, with few direct quotations. Some direct...
Writing Feedbackttc1234 - May 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 14, 2009
|What are the differences between life in America and life in Third World nations
14 - Great, they'll be lucky to get your feedback. I had a Spanish teacher once who pointed out how much...
Writing FeedbackRhadames - May 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2009
|Feedback for my essay on Philosophy Paper relating to parfits personal identity
3 - Unlike the de-connecting of hemispheres, and reconnecting them, and then suddenly having the stream on consciousness connect, you would...
Writing Feedbackhketek - May 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 12, 2009
|"How must we change our lifestyles to meet the threat of global warming?"
6 - Thanks for this help, i am now feeling more confident on constructing this essay and it may lead me...
Writing Feedbackantondude - May 9, 2009 / antondude - May 12, 2009
|Iranian Revolution Recounted in Persepolis
2 - This seems to start in media res. You need to work on situating the events you describe in context....
Writing Feedbackbanannax - May 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 12, 2009
|Detecting Deception Based on Nonverbal Behaviour Cues:a literature review
2 - I don't see any grammar mistakes, but I can tell you're lying by analyzing your sentence structure! No,...
Writing Feedbacklialia - May 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2009
|IELTS writing: email and text messaging threats written language
6 - hi, i do not think the disadvantages of email and text message rest with the weakened position of...
Writing Feedbackmarine - Apr 30, 2009 / kirin - May 10, 2009
|The New Great Depression
4 - Great ideas from Sean; and Marcel explained a problem better than I could have: overly colloquial. What a great...
Writing FeedbackDan - May 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 10, 2009
|My paper, for Newt Gingrich...
19 - Yes, for sure, if you are seeking help from everyone possible, and if you show them that you really...
Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 9, 2009
|Reflective Essay On This School Year: "Closed Doors Are Not The End"
6 - Ah, you get to workshop this essay a bit, then, do you? It's always nice when teachers let you...
Writing FeedbackBabiix - May 6, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
|"The Contested Terrain of Media Text and its Effects on Contemporary Culture"
3 - This is a fascinating subject. I notice you didn't mention that the world of 24 had an America governed...
Writing Feedbackgudjuju22 - May 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
|"Our desire to conform is greater than our respect for objective facts." - Essay
15 - Yeah, I know what you mean. They have their purpose. Still, I am often surprised at how much better...
Writing Feedbackx0vicksz - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 7, 2009
|Essay on Traditional meal in Christmas Day
Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 30, 2009 / Chidem - May 7, 2009
|English Comp. CLEP - practice essay "Impossible Goals"
9 - Well, they are testing for English competency, and so presumably have backgrounds in language rather than in computer science....
Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 6, 2009
|What essential skills young people should have in our complex society?
Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 6, 2009
|CLEP Practice Essay - effect of computers on work now versus 100 years ago
4 - Thanks so much. My intro was much longer in draft with a better hook and a more specific example...
Writing Feedbackabryant - May 5, 2009 / abryant - May 6, 2009
|Aboriginal Rights in the Twentieth Century-My term essay for History
7 - Great question! Fluidity comes from having a central theme for the whole essay, and then having a mini theme...
Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 5, 2009
|Archimedes; "Eureka!" essay
10 - Hmmm . . . what exactly were the assignment instructions? If you are just writing a biographical piece, you...
Writing FeedbackFreedomMoto - Apr 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 5, 2009
|TOEFL Essay - Convenience food can not improve the way we live.
15 - Perhaps it is a good idea to make time to be healthy? For that matter, while some people have...
Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 5, 2009
|"The Masque of the Red Death" by Edgar Allan Poe Research Paper
Writing FeedbackLunasly - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 4, 2009
|Language-Way of Dialect-
5 - The exact instructions would help, as Tyler said. Also, you might want to consider adding more detail to your...
Writing Feedbackcin ali - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 4, 2009
|My attitude towards writers is mostly positive. Writers have creative and imaginary minds.
10 - It will be impossible to completely eliminate the use of "I" in an essay on this sort of topic,...
Writing Feedbacksally12 - May 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 4, 2009
|"Bad Boss" Essay - selfish, hypocritical, harassing, malice, poor communicator.
Writing Feedbackinsidecars - May 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 3, 2009
|Descriptive Essay: Joffrey's is My First Distance
5 - You might want to elaborate a bit on the descriptions, given that this is supposed to be a descriptive...
Writing Feedback3looy - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 2, 2009
|Today, the dominance of global product brands threatens individual identity
Writing Feedbackmarine - Apr 29, 2009 / marine - May 1, 2009
|Write about a belief you have and the pros and cons of it (online writing essay)
Writing Feedbackplugging_along - May 1, 2009 / plugging_along - May 1, 2009
|I've vowed to change how I interact with people; Fruitful discussion.
5 - I think you once wrote that wordsmiths pick verbal arguments for the same reason jocks often pick physical fights...
Writing FeedbackMustafa1991 - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
|Bioethical Disputes: simple essay on explaining a concept
7 - No, I meant I don't understand how institutionalization is a bioethical dispute. Sorry, I guess the emphasis wasn't clear...
Writing FeedbackTESE - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
|Process Anaylsis Essay in 5 paragraphs (CompTIA Network+ Exam)
5 - This is an excellent process analysis essay. The only suggestion I can think of is that you might want...
Writing Feedbackalexxis - Apr 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
|All Quiet on the Western Front, main theme of camaraderie
4 - Thanks :)...
Writing Feedbacknuker2guy - Apr 29, 2009 / nuker2guy - May 1, 2009
|Description Essay: The Rider
Writing Feedbackalexxis - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 30, 2009
|Rough Draft on relation between the epigraph and Gatsby in The Great Gatsby
Writing FeedbackLifeisallugot - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 30, 2009
|English Comp Essay for clep exam- "Banning ammo"
3 - Awesome... I wish I'd thought of that. :) Thanks. I'm working on another right now. I'll definitely reread it...
Writing FeedbackTemsik - Apr 29, 2009 / Temsik - Apr 29, 2009
|"Leave it to Allah!" Does this article sound good in English? 2
48 - I'm curious; do you mean that calling for love requires learning, arts, literature, and religion, or that love...
Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 29, 2009
|Under the Age of Eighteen and in the Military: Evaluation Essay
4 - Your essay needs a sharper focus. Tyler already pointed out your need for a thesis upfront. You will also...
Writing Feedbackmichaelfrye1970 - Apr 26, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 29, 2009
|The Effects of Violent Movies
9 - i have to do a similar essay...i think you should write out an outline intro-thesis main body- write...
Writing Feedbacksilentheart - Apr 17, 2009 / ttc1234 - Apr 28, 2009
|Spend more time working hard on jobs or stay with families?
10 - When family is in conflict with working， which one will you will pay more attention to and spend more...
Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 27, 2009
|Here's the Problem - an essay
3 - It is my children and their friends who have made me realize how different the coming world is going...
Writing FeedbackRajiv - May 26, 2007 / Rajiv - Apr 27, 2009
|Financial anaysis essay (cash flows)
5 - I have no background in this area of expertise, but I can show where some words are missing: ...
Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 27, 2009
|TOEFL essay - PR: from-books knowledge and experiential knowledge
Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 27, 2009
|NASA Spinoff Technology
5 - Thanks Kevin. I added the sentences, corrected a few word errors (powered/powdered, premiere/premier, subcommitteE), and I am calling it...
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Apr 24, 2009 / Notoman - Apr 26, 2009
|We can know something about a person by the way he dresses.
Writing Feedbackbinu - Apr 20, 2009 / binu - Apr 26, 2009
|TOEFL Essay -Why go to university (career preparation, self-actualization)
7 - Well, i think in TOEFL essay, it is important to use conjunctions. May be instead of saying 'in conlcusion',...
Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 13, 2009 / Abby002 - Apr 26, 2009
|University students should be required to take history classes - essay
6 - Some points to consider: When summarizing the case against learning history in your first body paragraph, you might...
Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009
|Critique my current event paper (English Critical Thinking class)
5 - I am going to tackle your first paragraph. I think that it could read a little better with some...
Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Apr 24, 2009 / Notoman - Apr 25, 2009
|English Comp. CLEP- literary decline
3 - Your grammar and style are solid as usual. The content is okay. I suspect for this sort of essay,...
Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009
|Locke and Rousseau
Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
|Austen's satire of society; Pride and Prejudice essay - Check
3 - Citizens--Criticizes... That's the kind of weird mistake that comes from over-zealous word processing program auto-correct functions. I hate those...
Writing Feedbackxeidus - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
|What discovery in the last century has been most beneficial for your country?
4 - In the last century, My country, Romania, had passed through many changes and regimes that influence its history in...
Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
|[Essay]The Best and Worst aspects of being a Teenager.
3 - Give some more help to other members -- thoughtful, substantial help, like you might give to a younger sibling...
Writing Feedbackceberus - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
|" Rising divorce rate"- Cause and effect essay
9 - Hi Kevin and Sean, I appreciate ur valuable help! ^^ I learn a lot from you. Thanks again for...
Writing FeedbackThuong - Apr 20, 2009 / Thuong - Apr 24, 2009
|'Schools are nestles of education' - Essay on Violence in schools.
Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 8, 2009 / Chidem - Apr 24, 2009
|A mistake i learned from - narrative essay
2 - The pleasant man from the phone call was actually the head coach of the basketball team. He told me...
Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
|Religion is good for the people - does it touch on the line of poetry?
4 - There is always a certain amount of fun in engaging with a new language. What's your first one? English...
Writing FeedbackProt - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 23, 2009
|Personal Objectivity of James Joyce- research paper
3 - This is going to be a great paper! You weave together the information very well. I only found two...
Writing Feedbackhevyhomie - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009
|English Comp. CLEP essay - "guns outnumber the population"
4 - Therefore , his proposal is an adept way of limiting the damage done to society through.. (Above) Technically,...
Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009
|TOEFL Essay - Parents are the best teachers (Devotion and penetration)
8 - You might want to "exhort" parents to spend more one-on-one time with their children. That is one way to...
Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009
|We can't negative wholly benefit from nuclear technology
Writing Feedbacksecret1302 - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009
|GED Practice essay: Do you think people learn from their mistakes?
7 - Your concluding paragraph could use some beefing up. And I think if you gave some examples of people learning...
Writing Feedbackspczmb - Apr 14, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 23, 2009
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