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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 11)

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AAS - What are your plans when you finish your studies (Master Program : Tourism)

2 - The last thing that I can do for you here is make the decision for you regarding which statement...

ScholarshipPradausa - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
Fighter family - KGSP Scholarship - Personal Statemente International Relations

3 - Hi gloriacabral, I think you have a good background for application, but you need to shorten your essay. You...

Scholarshipgloriacabral - Feb 22, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 22, 2021
My commitment to my community - Global Ugrad

2 - The problem with your presentation is that you are representing yourself as a community leader, without having any access...

ScholarshipDankarys - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 22, 2021
Applying the knowledge and experience essay. Sustainable Transportation SISGP

4 - "As someone who experience working ..." Would be better framed as: As my core profession has involved mainly...

Scholarshipndhnif - Feb 16, 2021 / Ishaqur - Feb 20, 2021
Evaluate the applicant's leadership capacity and potential to play a role in development

3 - @tyanna I think instead of mentioning the currency, try focusing on growth/changes from last term. Furthermore, it would be...

Scholarshiptyanna - Feb 16, 2021 / Ishaqur - Feb 20, 2021
GOVERNMENT OF IRELAND INTERNATIONAL EDUCATION SCHOLARSHIP

4 - I think you should look into the specific courses available under the program, mention those in the essay to...

Scholarshiptomtomiwa - Feb 16, 2021 / Ishaqur - Feb 20, 2021
Korean broadcasting will change us for the better - KGSP Master 2021 Personal Statement

3 - Hi Semos, I would like to suggest you to move your motivation paragraph to the top. The motivation is...

Scholarshipsemos - Feb 15, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 17, 2021
From mathematics to engineering- Personal statement should describe who you are and past experiences

2 - You mentioned engineering at the end. So change that reference point. Try not to keep mentioning Engineering because it...

ScholarshipAeroSAE98 - Feb 16, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Aerospace engineering - Study Objectives essay for FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP

2 - I feel that the binational impact needs to be stronger in terms to referring to America's possible use for...

ScholarshipAeroSAE98 - Feb 15, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Global issues need global responses - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution*?

2 - Use that quote, and refer to the original speaker, as a stand alone presentation at the start. That will...

ScholarshipSinSonng - Feb 15, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Essay about how you can apply the knowledge once finish the education in the own country

2 - The discussion is totally off base. Remember that the prompt assumes you have already completed the course and you...

ScholarshipBarol16 - Feb 15, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Me helping people - Describe yourself in 285 words.

2 - The prompt is not about what interests you. It is about who you are. What are your personal traits...

Scholarshipteddyz - Feb 15, 2021 / Holt - Feb 16, 2021
Statement of Purpose; Goal of Study & Study Plan Graduate : Art Management

6 - Hi moondeluna, The SOP requirement in this section is goal of study and detailed study plan. I feel...

Scholarshipmoondeluna - Feb 13, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 16, 2021
[KGSP SCHOLARSHIP] GRADUATE PROGRAM - MASTER IN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - Personal Statement

3 - @Holt Thank you for your careful review and the constructive comment. Have a nice day! : )...

Scholarshipgrant_Oliver - Feb 14, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 15, 2021
Scholarship motivation letter for masters studies - how you can apply the knowledge and etc..

3 - @Holt Dear Holt. Thank you very much for your timely response. I will connect the work of the UNDP...

Scholarshipkomadx - Feb 14, 2021 / komadx - Feb 15, 2021
GKS-G Scholarship Personal Statement: Marketing Major

2 - If the first paragraph is your motivational statement, then you need to work on it. The motivational statement should...

Scholarshipoahr93 - Feb 14, 2021 / Holt - Feb 15, 2021
The Engineer I want to be. Committing to the global community Scholarship Essay

2 - Here is the thing, your essay shows you not as a community leader, but as a community follower in...

Scholarshipeds420 - Feb 14, 2021 / Holt - Feb 15, 2021
Business Development - YOUR PROPOSED COURSE AND INSTITUTION? (FOR AUSTRALIA AWARDS SCHOLARSHIP)

2 - You only responded to the course choice discussion. You did not indicate the university of choice and why you...

ScholarshipRatudestiani - Feb 14, 2021 / Holt - Feb 15, 2021
Personal statement for KGSP scholarship Master program in English Linguistics

5 - Just so you know the requirements for the personal statement have changed as follows! - Motivations with which...

Scholarshipaigerim87 - Feb 7, 2021 / oahr93 - Feb 14, 2021
[KGSP SCHOLARSHIP] GRADUATE PROGRAM - MASTER IN PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION - Student from Public Schools

5 - Hi Aline, Please notice that the KGSP SOP and PS requirements had changed. According to the newly release guideline,...

Scholarshipaccandido - Jan 31, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 14, 2021
"Success is not final; failure is not fatal" - being a great participant in the Global UGRAD program

2 - Without the reference to how you have actually served your community, which is what the prompt asked you write...

Scholarshipelisabettgt - Feb 14, 2021 / Holt - Feb 14, 2021
Question 1 scholarship; Why Curtin? Because it is a university that specializes in mining

2 - Your employment background should be mentioned in some capacity as the basis of the reference point for your course...

ScholarshipFaridFR - Feb 13, 2021 / Holt - Feb 14, 2021
GKS Graduate 2021 - Masters in International Business (Personal Statement)

3 - Hi Olivia! The feedback that I have for you is that it looks too short or simplified. I would...

Scholarshippetitemuncher - Feb 4, 2021 / oahr93 - Feb 14, 2021
The Trip - Global UGRAD Program application essay - Why Participate?

2 - This is not really a leadership experience within a community. There is a lack of physical interaction on a...

Scholarshiplemeigeni - Feb 9, 2021 / Holt - Feb 10, 2021
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD program? Powerful vision and effort.

2 - The scholarship program always bases its first consideration of the applicant based on his community leadership skills and abilities....

ScholarshipAlvaro - Feb 9, 2021 / Holt - Feb 10, 2021
Personal Statement for GKS's graduate studies in Visual Communication Design

2 - Your personal statement is not based on the proper information requirement for the presentation. The personal statement for the...

Scholarshipfranbrown - Feb 7, 2021 / Holt - Feb 7, 2021
To serve my country - UGRAD exchange program why am I a great participant for this program

2 - The first part of the presentation makes you sound like a beauty pageant contestant. You may want to rethink...

Scholarshipmariami_77 - Feb 6, 2021 / Holt - Feb 7, 2021
My paragraph for applying for a scholarship about experience in Sweden

2 - Do not divide the information in the presentation. Either focus on your company or focus on the UN 2030...

ScholarshipHena - Feb 6, 2021 / Holt - Feb 6, 2021
Masters' in Environmental Science and Engineering - Statement of purpose for GKS program.

2 - The other half of the paragraph 4 content belongs in the study plan. Remove all references to the study...

Scholarshipbonsena - Feb 5, 2021 / Holt - Feb 6, 2021
The kindness of strangers - Scholarship essay about financial need

2 - Balance the focus between financial need and the intended long term career path. You have over focused on your...

ScholarshipDorsey - Feb 4, 2021 / Holt - Feb 4, 2021
Personal Statement Fulbright Scholarship (Master's degree program in Mining Engineering)

2 - This essay only covers the information regarding your undergraduate course, special interest, and practical experience. It does not contain...

Scholarshipmirz - Feb 2, 2021 / Holt - Feb 3, 2021
I am writing for my NTU scholarship essay, "Practice Makes Perfect".

3 - @RowenTey I did apply for a scholarship at NTU in 2018 and I had 25% reduction in my tuition...

ScholarshipRowenTey - Jan 31, 2021 / FAWAZ - Feb 1, 2021
WHAT THE YOUNGER GENERATION NEED - JOURNALISM, AN ESSAY FOR TURKIYE SCHOLARSHIPS

3 - @Holt Hi, thanks for your advice! but if I may know, how to write a compelling first sentence so...

ScholarshipShara Fazhalia - Jan 30, 2021 / Shara Fazhalia - Jan 31, 2021
My Study Plan for writing the Language Proficiency Test and the GRE

2 - I am not sure what you mean by "writing these exams." Do you mean you wish to take these...

ScholarshipJibolar - Jan 30, 2021 / Holt - Jan 31, 2021
Productive high-school years - UWC scholarship essay

3 - I think you did not focus on the main goal of how you are going to contribute to UWC....

ScholarshipErmuun - Jan 25, 2021 / AbdelrahmanWal4 - Jan 26, 2021
The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities

3 - I believe that you had better not use contractions like ''didn't''. Instead, just write did not. Be aware of...

Scholarshipdinoraachilova - Jan 14, 2021 / AbdelrahmanWal4 - Jan 26, 2021
Why did you choose the Master of Taxation at the University of Sydney? AAS Supporting Statement

2 - Since this is a word limited response, you need to balance the presentation to reflect a proper discussion for...

ScholarshipStephan - Jan 26, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
An ardent passion for the electric energy industry. Erasmus program motivation letter 2021

2 - Remove the link to the article. Believe me, the reviewer isn't going to read it. Your narration should tell...

Scholarshipmic - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Security and gender - Erasmus Mundus Scholarship Personal Statement

2 - I feel like there is a missing link in this presentation. As this is a personal statement, it has...

Scholarshipcassandravd - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Applying the time with industry experts in Sweden to the Ghanaian construction industry

2 - The second paragraph is more direct to the point and should open the statement response. However, only the first...

ScholarshipFAWAZ - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Senior Teacher at the University of Adelaide and Monash University? Why?

2 - Your backstory is too long. Summarize that part and immediately present the reasons why you chose this masters course...

ScholarshipKyaw Min - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
The structural engineering field - Application to an Erasmus Scholarship

2 - The first paragraph that you wrote is really unnecessary. The reviewer already knows the purpose of the motivation letter...

Scholarshipluchernandezse - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Statement of Purpose GKS Food Science Major

2 - You need more specifics in this statement of purpose. You have already worked in a nutritional laboratory and done...

ScholarshipAlfredoCruz - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 25, 2021
Describing how my experience and knowledge in my study abroad can be applied.

3 - Thanks @holt will review it....

ScholarshipYuceeh - Jan 22, 2021 / Yuceeh - Jan 23, 2021
Business Administration: Personal Statement for KGSP Application

3 - I will definitely work on it, thank you...

ScholarshipMowumi - Jan 21, 2021 / Mowumi - Jan 22, 2021
HRM impact - reasons have encouraged me to apply the Global Korea Scholarship Program

2 - If your parents are the ones saying this, then there should not be a reference to Nelson Mandela....

Scholarshipitsmeemyyy - Jan 20, 2021 / Holt - Jan 21, 2021
Statement of Purpose_ Erasmus + EPOG Joint Master's Degree Programme

2 - There is no evidence of you having an interest in learning about Economics in a manner that is not...

Scholarshiphnoman - Jan 20, 2021 / Holt - Jan 20, 2021
Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus CLMC programme scholarship

2 - The personal statement is good. However, there are sections that would better serve a purpose in your motivational letter....

ScholarshipRS09 - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
[NTU Scholarship Essay] Values And Beliefs You Hold Strongly To - 'to start to be great'

2 - You have not responded to the task. There are certain belief and value systems associated with the character and...

ScholarshipDksDZFwC - Jan 17, 2021 / Holt - Jan 18, 2021
Pharmacist - Personal Statement & for Commonwealth PhD Scholarship Application

4 - Thanks a lot @Holt & @ Jibolar....

ScholarshipKhanChughta - Jan 15, 2021 / KhanChughta - Jan 16, 2021
Motivation Letter for Erasmus+ EMJMD Management and Engineering of Environment and Energy+ (ME3)

2 - Dear concerned who? For a proper opening salutation, simply address the members of the scholarship admissions committee. Say, "To...

ScholarshipWaseem071 - Jan 15, 2021 / Holt - Jan 16, 2021
[KGSP-G] - International Trade Studies (GSIS) - Personal Statement

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your helpful comment. I will fix it according to your suggestions. Have a...

Scholarshipnhunggngu - Jan 13, 2021 / nhunggngu - Jan 15, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Mechanical engineering

2 - - This is not an acceptable reason for the reviewer. Remember, you completed an English language course in...

Scholarshipdulguxun - Jan 14, 2021 / Holt - Jan 15, 2021
The Ashram visit - a personal life experience that has had particular significance for you

2 - Being from India, you are familiar with the ashram definition. Since the reviewer is not from India, you need...

Scholarshipshreshthbh - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
Undergrad Scholarship Essay About My Beliefs and Values - "Cooperation, Diligence, and Duty"

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. It was very much needed....

Scholarshipsrjvob - Jan 13, 2021 / srjvob - Jan 13, 2021
Erasmus Mundus Scholarship - Can professional background be far more greater favorable than academic

2 - Paragraph 5 should be placed int he SOP, not in the motivation letter. That reference is more relevant to...

Scholarshipdisconnect - Jan 11, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Motivation letter to apply for Phd program in Neurosciences

3 - @Holt Thank you so much, I would have never thought how the Bold actually looks ! also thank you...

ScholarshipMeri_ami - Jan 11, 2021 / Meri_ami - Jan 11, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Political Science and International Relations BA

3 - @Holt thank you very much for your swift feedback. I wrote this 3rd paragraph in order to explain the...

Scholarshipfiratefe - Jan 10, 2021 / firatefe - Jan 10, 2021
Arts and Social Sciences - Korean MBA program - government GKS (Personal statement)

3 - @Holt Thanks so much for the feedbacks! Just to clarify, the MBA program that I'm applying is a non-thesis...

Scholarshipzubair8 - Jan 9, 2021 / zubair8 - Jan 10, 2021
ICT teacher - Scholarship essay about achievements

3 - @Holt Thank you for your response and I will take your advice and talk about an activity that...

ScholarshipYoussef3453 - Jan 8, 2021 / Youssef3453 - Jan 9, 2021

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