|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 7 of 429|
|'the cultures and traditions that co-exist with mine' - short essay on why I chose NYU
3 - @Holt i had a paragraph that talked about the courses i would like to pursue and what my future...
Undergraduatepolythurene - Jul 29, 2018 / polythurene - Aug 1, 2018
|Columbia Personal Statement - "Why Columbia?"
UndergraduateCabradasbrisa - Jul 29, 2018 / adp2138 - Aug 1, 2018
|An idea I once questioned - using both Chinese and English names
2 - Hey Jasmine, I really like the concept of this essay. The story is nice and offers an insight into...
Undergraduatejiayun223 - Jul 30, 2018 / Holt - Aug 1, 2018
|Your career goals in the broad field of engineering and what/who has influenced you
3 - Cole, there are no academic or career goals indicated in this essay. You need to write a totally new...
Undergraduatewbcw - Jul 30, 2018 / Holt - Jul 31, 2018
|It is precisely the environment I would like to put myself in - admission essay __ WHY NYUAD?
3 - HI Jasmine. Looking at your essay from the point of view of a reviewer, I am wondering why you...
Undergraduatejiayun223 - Jul 28, 2018 / Holt - Jul 30, 2018
|Essay on the influence of my family and environment and how it has shaped me as a person
3 - Nicole, by the time I finished reading this essay, I had learned so much about your grandfather and his...
UndergraduateHarden2001 - Jul 27, 2018 / Holt - Jul 28, 2018
|"Happiness in the service of others". Application essay.
2 - Tam, there are two things that you need to change in this essay. The first, is the reference to...
Undergraduatethanhtam4495 - Jul 26, 2018 / Holt - Jul 27, 2018
|"I am the product of my environment" - Discover Scripps Program (fly-in); identity essay
2 - tsering, for starters, you can better meet the maximum 150 word requirement if you remove the first 5 words...
Undergraduatemindlesscat01 - Jul 24, 2018 / Holt - Jul 25, 2018
|There were many layers to the environment that I was brought up in. Apply Texas Essay
2 - Azan, I think that the reason you fell short in the discussion is because you chose to discuss 3...
UndergraduateAzan - Jul 23, 2018 / Holt - Jul 24, 2018
|"Eureka!" feeling. TAMU Topic A Statement of Purpose Industrial Engineering
4 - Hi Tomas. Thanks for the clarification. I was able to get special permission from the powers that be to...
Undergraduatetkurten97 - Jul 11, 2018 / Holt - Jul 13, 2018
|Common App Application — Prompt 6 2018-19 "A Lifelong Fascination" - The depths of cosmos
2 - Ilya, this essay is a personal statement that describes the development of your interest in space exploration and other...
UndergraduateGaluluta - Jul 9, 2018 / Holt - Jul 10, 2018
|Astronauts and Planets - Common APP Writing section |Prompt 6|
2 - Sayan, common app essays cannot be more than 650 words long. You have 655 words so that means if...
UndergraduatePROFsabi - Jul 8, 2018 / Holt - Jul 9, 2018
|Common App Essay - "Do Dead Men Really Tell No Tales?"
2 - Sara, there is no danger in writing about a risky topic provided that it complies with the prompt expectations....
UndergraduateRoseGold - Jul 8, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|Fashion School Admission Essay; Drawing and sewing dresses
3 - Nai, the application essay is asking you to consider how the course requirements for your chosen major at the...
Undergraduateleothewriter - Jul 6, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|Debate over divison - USC supplement essay
3 - Layla, I do not believe that this essay works well for the prompt you have chosen because what you...
Undergraduatelehte9 - Jul 7, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|"TO IMPROVE IS TO CHANGE; TO BE PERFECT IS TO CHANGE OFTEN" - application essay
3 - @Holt Thank you for the suggestions! I chose another prompt and modified the essay. Hope you can review it....
Undergraduatesofiixu - Jun 30, 2018 / sofiixu - Jul 5, 2018
|"Fashion and writing" - reasons why I think I am a suitable for Fashion Institute of Technology
3 - Chyna, your first paragraph doesn't really help to move the essay along. It would be best to omit that...
UndergraduateChyatte - Jul 3, 2018 / Holt - Jul 4, 2018
||Common App| Caltech Essay - Scientific exploration clearly excites you
4 - Thanks a lot Mr. Holt, you seemed to be very kind and helpful, hehe no one appreciated my essay...
UndergraduatePROFsabi - Jun 28, 2018 / PROFsabi - Jul 1, 2018
|The neighborhood I grew up in (grateful for the great influences and for my parents for being there)
2 - Ana, I feel like this essay focuses too much on you trying to please your parents, without really explaining...
Undergraduatecristina2018 - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|Unprivileged background. USEFP Global UGRAD - my personal statement
2 - Memon, this essay is a bit problematic because it does not really represent the totality of the reviewer's interest...
UndergraduateMEMONSAIF - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|STUDY PLAN for study permit BScience in Canada
4 - Hi, I got special clearance to offer you additional advice to help you better apply my previous advice. This...
UndergraduateAlice_19th - Jun 17, 2018 / Holt - Jun 18, 2018
|Common app. I was given all of these blessings so that I could take advantage of them; trip to india
2 - Parth, what is the common app prompt that you are responding to? Is this your response to prompt 1...
Undergraduatepshah24 - Jun 14, 2018 / Holt - Jun 15, 2018
|I have looked up myself on Google - what's my identity?
Undergraduatenerdygirl - Jun 10, 2018 / Holt - Jun 10, 2018
|How my gender nonconformity molded my aspirations - FIT ADMISSIONS ESSAY
3 - Hi Holt, just wanted to update you and the forum that I had made some changes that you recommended...
Undergraduatej12fab1999 - Dec 10, 2017 / j12fab1999 - Jun 2, 2018
|What Makes Me Different? - My personal statement for American Honors
2 - Kieu, the information in this essay does not make you different. It makes you ordinary. Just like all the...
UndergraduateCharlotte1507 - May 30, 2018 / Holt - May 31, 2018
|What is the thing that you are most afraid of in your life? How do you deal with it?
2 - Chien, aside from the need for some grammar editing, your essay is unique in response and approach. Jealousy isn't...
UndergraduateChien Chi Chen - May 26, 2018 / Holt - May 27, 2018
|Study Plan Letter - following a bachelor degree in Agricultural and Environmental Sciences at McGill
4 - Thanks, @Holt for your evaluation of my letter so far. I will definily take into consideration your review and...
UndergraduateShrimp - May 24, 2018 / Shrimp - May 25, 2018
|Barnard College - Letter of Continued Interest (response to waitlist offer)
NEW - Barnard College admission With both great excitement and disappointment to see my status update on my admission portal...
UndergraduateTooriaV - May 6, 2018 / — -
|Why do you want to be Drum Major and why do you deserve this opportunity?
3 - @Holt I've revised/ completely retyped the essay. I apologize for the unclear prompt. PROMPT: INCORPORATE THE BOLD QUESTIONS...
Undergraduatetuedearerbluejay - Apr 27, 2018 / tuedearerbluejay - May 3, 2018
|My love and Passion for art and design. SCAD statement of purpose (Animation)
NEW - Prompt: The Statement of Purpose should be no more than 500 words in length and should give an overview...
UndergraduateJaden Brown - Apr 24, 2018 / — -
|Essay for Westpoint Humble Beginnings
2 - Sean, I learned a tremendous amount of information about your grandmother and your father in this essay, but I...
Undergraduatesrthornton - Apr 22, 2018 / Holt - Apr 23, 2018
|I need to convience VO that I will return back to my country. SOP
3 - I am not a graduate student, I am enrolling myself in an undergrad program in Actuarial Science. I currently...
Undergraduatesaira_aamir - Apr 21, 2018 / saira_aamir - Apr 22, 2018
|Your thoughts on my common app essay about my life
2 - Mohamed, this is not a character building story. You are trying to impress the reviewer but in the process,...
Undergraduateabominablebride - Apr 21, 2018 / Holt - Apr 22, 2018
|Analysis Essay on Death with Dignity Laws
2 - Jeff, this is a very good discussion of the "Death with Dignity " laws. The problem is that since...
Undergraduatejeffhuan - Apr 3, 2018 / Holt - Apr 9, 2018
|Motivational letter to Bocconi University
NEW - Hi guys, I am applying to BSc program at Bocconi University in Italty. Could you have a look...
Undergraduatephuonguyenvt - Mar 26, 2018 / — -
|Studying a new yet similar branch to my previous one - motivation letter
4 - Mohammed, since I advised you to keep the letter down to the more appropriate 4 paragraphs, it would be...
Undergraduateheshammm - Mar 23, 2018 / Holt - Mar 26, 2018
|Tell us why you are interested in attending Mount Holyoke College.
3 - Hameeda, the only applicable paragraph in this version of the essay is the last paragraph that you wrote. That...
Undergraduatehani22 - Mar 20, 2018 / Holt - Mar 21, 2018
|Study Plan for Undergraduate Dance major : I Found My Dream
5 - @Holt I am sorry, there are some mistakes in compilation of sentences, here is the correct essay. The following...
UndergraduateKiianiinw - Jan 30, 2018 / Kiianiinw - Mar 20, 2018
|Acting as a true ambassador of my country. UGRAD Personal Statement
3 - @Holt Thank you for your comment I appreciate it. Unfortunately, I wasn't chosen as UGRAD participant and now I...
Undergraduategiga28giga - Mar 8, 2018 / giga28giga - Mar 19, 2018
|I hope to work as a accountant or as an IT security consultant - My Personal Statement
3 - Jasmine, your response is too short. You have 300 words to maximize your explanation. Utilize it. Expand your discussion....
Undergraduateheylaa - Mar 15, 2018 / Holt - Mar 17, 2018
|I was drawn towards the University of Waterloo for 2 main reasons.
3 - @TJLuschen Thanks for your correction on some of my mistakes in the paragraph. I've done a renovation of said...
Undergraduateiccuwagn - Mar 11, 2018 / iccuwagn - Mar 17, 2018
|My childhood and overseas experiences - self introduction for exchange program
2 - Hi, I think for your conclusion you need to tie these experiences into how this new program will help...
Undergraduateji young lee - Mar 13, 2018 / TJLuschen - Mar 16, 2018
|Drawing - my one constant love. SCAD statement of purpose (sequential art major)
2 - Gabi, this is a pretty good WIP. You may want to consider explaining why you took some courses twice...
Undergraduatestrop - Mar 5, 2018 / Holt - Mar 10, 2018
|THIS IS ESSAY ABOUT ME, AND FOR MY ASSIGMENT
Undergraduatenabilana26 - Mar 7, 2018 / nabilana26 - Mar 8, 2018
|'intellectual tenacity' - Transfer College Essay for UW-Madison
2 - Ian, for an essay with a title like "Intellectual Tenacity" , there was very little discussion of how you...
Undergraduateiankonradjohnson - Feb 27, 2018 / Holt - Mar 1, 2018
|University of Miami transfer objectives essay - my reasons for choosing UM and the major psychology
2 - Selin, your essay fails you where you require it the most. That is, in the academic reason for your...
Undergraduateselintanriverdi - Feb 26, 2018 / Holt - Mar 1, 2018
|My road to computer science. Motivation Letter for Undergraduate Degree - Applied Computer Science
Undergraduateangelasky - Feb 25, 2018 / Holt - Feb 28, 2018
|The meaning of life. Need Opinions on my personal statement for pace !
4 - The meaning of life: Since the beginning of times, humans are wondered about the meaning of their existence. Many...
Undergraduatejbright234 - Feb 23, 2018 / Unadelllano - Feb 24, 2018
|Hook em' Horns! Statement of Purpose - transfer into UT Austin essay
3 - Max, don't open the essay with a reference to a young age. Simply indicate that you grew up in...
Undergraduatemaxiemuss - Feb 21, 2018 / Holt - Feb 22, 2018
|Tell me about yourself (family, hobbies, dreams, strongest and weakest points)
5 - I do many things for entertainment such as playing games, reading books, listening to music,and so on. However, but...
UndergraduateGia Huy Cao - Jan 24, 2018 / Ulfaidrus_flip - Feb 16, 2018
|Queen's Commerce: Most important lesson you learned from a mistake you have made? (300 words)
2 - Chenlei, the first sentence is a throw away. It is not necessary to create a prompt restatement in this...
Undergraduatemorninghana - Feb 15, 2018 / Holt - Feb 15, 2018
|Personal statement Application for Physiotherapy - an achievement or lesson lerned
2 - Vikhram, simply getting an invitation to join this society is not an academic achievement. An academic achievement is either...
Undergraduatevik0905 - Feb 13, 2018 / Holt - Feb 14, 2018
|"Magic tricks" inspiration - Stanford (intellectually engaging idea)
2 - @Demyann I would not consider this particular activity an intellectually engaging idea. This veers more into the area of...
UndergraduateDemyan - Feb 12, 2018 / Holt - Feb 13, 2018
|I am the last of 6 siblings who went to college. This is dream my transfer essay
3 - Be careful of trying too hard to make your essay a full feature-length film of your life. The best...
UndergraduateJzuniga - Feb 4, 2018 / Moony2136 - Feb 9, 2018
|UT Austin Transfer Essay A (Apply Texas) - Help on statement of purpose (Theatre Major)
3 - Ben, I think your essay is coming along well. I think, as far as organization goes, you could...
Undergraduatebenglassy - Feb 9, 2018 / Moony2136 - Feb 9, 2018
|Yale Young Global Scholars - Essay titled "The Cry For Justice"
UndergraduateBremners - Feb 4, 2018 / Bremners - Feb 5, 2018
|Waterloo AIF - Goals and interests in the Global Business and Digital Arts
3 - Joshua, in the first question, remove the reference to "attorney, though". Use a period after attorney and then begin...
Undergraduatemilk - Feb 3, 2018 / Holt - Feb 4, 2018
|Choose one of the communities to which you belong, describe that community and your place within it
3 - Like Holt said, your initial question of "why the hell am I here" wasn't actually answered by the rest...
Undergraduatefads - Jan 31, 2018 / milk - Feb 3, 2018
|Previous academic experiences and explanation for desire to transfer to Maryland
4 - Hello!! Like it's said above, there are many grammatical errors. So, I would suggest you go through it...
Undergraduateisaacabe - Jan 30, 2018 / DoctorWho - Jan 31, 2018
|A new flyover. Common App Essay - Undergrad Transfer
2 - Fahad, paragraph 4 which deals with your criteria for choosing a university is misplaced in this essay. After all,...
Undergraduatefadddy - Jan 30, 2018 / Holt - Jan 31, 2018
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