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|Love for cooking - something you do for the pleasure of it. MIT
2 - Sasha, there is a part that is written in Ukrainian in your response. Please make sure to change that...
Undergraduatesg2468 - Sep 19, 2018 / Holt - Sep 20, 2018
|Why Tulane Essay: "finding a school that shares your values"
2 - Molly, you have pretty much addressed everything that relates to your personal goals in choosing a university. What is...
Undergraduatedillybar - Sep 18, 2018 / Holt - Sep 19, 2018
|"My Best Friend's Suicide" Coalition Prompt of Choice
2 - Matt, there are several confusing references in the third paragraph. Let me outline it for you below followed by...
Undergraduatemattyonolan - Sep 13, 2018 / Holt - Sep 14, 2018
|Emerson College Storytelling prompt - what would you title your story and why?
2 - Hi Annette. Yes, you are most certainly correct, your response is too vague to be considered a story about...
Undergraduateanne1875 - Sep 13, 2018 / Holt - Sep 13, 2018
|"Breaking Free from the Herd" - Barnard Personal Statement #1
2 - Hi Camryn, I think you are selling yourself short in this essay. You have a 250 word maximum for...
Undergraduatecamrynh508 - Sep 12, 2018 / Holt - Sep 13, 2018
|Being a big sister taught me about the importance of being a responsible person
2 - I suggest you to check your few grammar errors especially the pronouns such as: My little brother whom I...
Undergraduatekalitahon - Sep 11, 2018 / kalyn - Sep 13, 2018
|I love running. - one of MIT short essays
2 - Erkhes, when you are asked about doing something just for the pleasure of it, that means you do something...
UndergraduateNoviceWriter1999 - Sep 10, 2018 / Holt - Sep 11, 2018
|Why I want to go to a Christian College- College Application
2 - Elizabeth, I believe that this essay is well written but can still be improved. For starters, rather than saying...
Undergraduatelschwegler - Sep 9, 2018 / Holt - Sep 10, 2018
|How can society's standards shape one's schema? Biographical Essay about life influence
UndergraduatePhili010 - Sep 4, 2018 / Phili010 - Sep 8, 2018
|Why ISU is fit for your educational goals and explain your academic strengths and weaknesses
3 - Taylor, your essay is nowhere near what the prompt is asking you to explain. You do not have any...
Undergraduatemichalektaylor - Sep 7, 2018 / Holt - Sep 8, 2018
|College Essay for University of Texas at San Antonio (Topic A) Household, community, and environment
2 - Sofie, this essay has a razor sharp focus on your unique family unit that helps it tell an interesting...
UndergraduateSofieb52 - Sep 6, 2018 / Holt - Sep 7, 2018
|Why do you want to study your chosen major at Georgia Tech? - GATech Supplement #1
2 - Bill, your explanation still does not explain why you chose to enroll at GT. The why is not clear...
Undergraduatebguo919 - Sep 2, 2018 / Holt - Sep 3, 2018
|A letter to express my interest in the Radiology program at Kerman University of Medical Sciences
Undergraduatebanknotes2233 - Sep 1, 2018 / banknotes2233 - Sep 3, 2018
|The time to act is now. Personal Statement - this is for my college
2 - This essay was very touching and personal to you, but also deals with a subject impacting many people. The...
Undergraduaterobledo723 - Aug 23, 2018 / dgb621 - Aug 30, 2018
|It is my first time writing a personal statement about myself can you guys review it ?
3 - Thanks for your helpful reply, i appreciate it. i understanding now what should be. i will make it much...
Undergraduatediyar95 - Aug 28, 2018 / diyar95 - Aug 29, 2018
|Education - the key to freedom. An attempt to write Statement of Purpose essay for UT
4 - Callie, the University of Baylor discussion takes up too much of the essay even though you are not transferring...
UndergraduateCallieO - Aug 21, 2018 / Holt - Aug 28, 2018
|"I wanted to become a wizard, but there is no salary for them" KGSP personal statement
2 - Alex, the personal statement for a KGSP scholarship program has a specific set of questions that need to be...
UndergraduateAlexsisGrimm - Aug 25, 2018 / Holt - Aug 26, 2018
|'Whatever we had missed, we possessed together the precious, the incommunicable past.'
2 - Gatik, what was it that your mother did which emancipated you from your father's brothers? How did this show...
UndergraduateGatikGola - Aug 21, 2018 / Holt - Aug 22, 2018
|KGSP Undergraduate Applications Personal Statement - Born to be a Filmmaker
3 - Louie, you only addressed 2 aspects of the overall prompt. The overall essay is perfect in terms of responding...
Undergraduateigeunamja - Aug 19, 2018 / Holt - Aug 20, 2018
|If there has been and obstacle in your life, explain the circumstances. UCF APPLICATION ESSAY
Undergraduateisabelantelo - Aug 17, 2018 / Holt - Aug 18, 2018
|How does this look as a gap year essay? Taking a gap year and going to plan a startup or something..
3 - Sujhan, the first thing you have to change with this essay is the tone of disinterest or lack of...
Undergraduatesujhang - Aug 16, 2018 / Holt - Aug 17, 2018
|USNA Application; explain your interest in the naval service and describe a personal experience
2 - Taelyn, I think that for the first part of the essay, the one about your initial interest, you could...
UndergraduateTaelynmro - Aug 12, 2018 / Holt - Aug 13, 2018
|Failure is simply the opportunity - Common App Essay First Draft - Motivation Essay
2 - Grace, it would be better for us to review your essay based on the common app prompt that you...
Undergraduategracecurry01 - Aug 12, 2018 / Holt - Aug 13, 2018
|Pa-rth foundation Scholarship. why a degree in Nursing? How will you give back to your community?
3 - Thanks for your advice. i really appreciate. i will correct and delete the ones you mentioned. could you help...
Undergraduatevalentine44 - Aug 9, 2018 / valentine44 - Aug 10, 2018
|Describe how your life experiences can contribute to pomonas educational mission around diversity
2 - Samantha, you seem to have misunderstood the prompt requirement. What the reviewer would like to learn about from you,...
Undergraduatesam2019 - Aug 5, 2018 / Holt - Aug 6, 2018
|UT Austin Spring Transfer (from UTSA to UT) Statement of Purpose
2 - Sean, paragraphs 3 and 4 are the most appropriate parts of this essay that you should open with. Revise...
Undergraduateseanq1 - Aug 5, 2018 / Holt - Aug 6, 2018
|Rice University Personal Perspective Prompt Response - Dance and Perseverance
2 - Amanda, being a dancer in this instance, does not seem to be a unique life experience. The role that...
Undergraduateaj5048 - Aug 4, 2018 / Holt - Aug 5, 2018
|Georgia Tech Personal Essay (Why I chose Georgia Tech)
3 - Justin, your response to the essay prompt is nowhere near the question being asked. The question is asking you...
Undergraduatejddn6704 - Aug 4, 2018 / Holt - Aug 4, 2018
|'the cultures and traditions that co-exist with mine' - short essay on why I chose NYU
3 - @Holt i had a paragraph that talked about the courses i would like to pursue and what my future...
Undergraduatepolythurene - Jul 29, 2018 / polythurene - Aug 1, 2018
|Columbia Personal Statement - "Why Columbia?"
UndergraduateCabradasbrisa - Jul 29, 2018 / adp2138 - Aug 1, 2018
|An idea I once questioned - using both Chinese and English names
2 - Hey Jasmine, I really like the concept of this essay. The story is nice and offers an insight into...
Undergraduatejiayun223 - Jul 30, 2018 / Holt - Aug 1, 2018
|Your career goals in the broad field of engineering and what/who has influenced you
3 - Cole, there are no academic or career goals indicated in this essay. You need to write a totally new...
Undergraduatewbcw - Jul 30, 2018 / Holt - Jul 31, 2018
|It is precisely the environment I would like to put myself in - admission essay __ WHY NYUAD?
3 - HI Jasmine. Looking at your essay from the point of view of a reviewer, I am wondering why you...
Undergraduatejiayun223 - Jul 28, 2018 / Holt - Jul 30, 2018
|Essay on the influence of my family and environment and how it has shaped me as a person
3 - Nicole, by the time I finished reading this essay, I had learned so much about your grandfather and his...
UndergraduateHarden2001 - Jul 27, 2018 / Holt - Jul 28, 2018
|"Happiness in the service of others". Application essay.
2 - Tam, there are two things that you need to change in this essay. The first, is the reference to...
Undergraduatethanhtam4495 - Jul 26, 2018 / Holt - Jul 27, 2018
|"I am the product of my environment" - Discover Scripps Program (fly-in); identity essay
2 - tsering, for starters, you can better meet the maximum 150 word requirement if you remove the first 5 words...
Undergraduatemindlesscat01 - Jul 24, 2018 / Holt - Jul 25, 2018
|There were many layers to the environment that I was brought up in. Apply Texas Essay
2 - Azan, I think that the reason you fell short in the discussion is because you chose to discuss 3...
UndergraduateAzan - Jul 23, 2018 / Holt - Jul 24, 2018
|"Eureka!" feeling. TAMU Topic A Statement of Purpose Industrial Engineering
4 - Hi Tomas. Thanks for the clarification. I was able to get special permission from the powers that be to...
Undergraduatetkurten97 - Jul 11, 2018 / Holt - Jul 13, 2018
|Common App Application — Prompt 6 2018-19 "A Lifelong Fascination" - The depths of cosmos
2 - Ilya, this essay is a personal statement that describes the development of your interest in space exploration and other...
UndergraduateGaluluta - Jul 9, 2018 / Holt - Jul 10, 2018
|Astronauts and Planets - Common APP Writing section |Prompt 6|
2 - Sayan, common app essays cannot be more than 650 words long. You have 655 words so that means if...
UndergraduatePROFsabi - Jul 8, 2018 / Holt - Jul 9, 2018
|Common App Essay - "Do Dead Men Really Tell No Tales?"
2 - Sara, there is no danger in writing about a risky topic provided that it complies with the prompt expectations....
UndergraduateRoseGold - Jul 8, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|Fashion School Admission Essay; Drawing and sewing dresses
2 - Nai, the application essay is asking you to consider how the course requirements for your chosen major at the...
Undergraduateleothewriter - Jul 6, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|Debate over divison - USC supplement essay
3 - Layla, I do not believe that this essay works well for the prompt you have chosen because what you...
Undergraduatelehte9 - Jul 7, 2018 / Holt - Jul 8, 2018
|"TO IMPROVE IS TO CHANGE; TO BE PERFECT IS TO CHANGE OFTEN" - application essay
3 - @Holt Thank you for the suggestions! I chose another prompt and modified the essay. Hope you can review it....
Undergraduatesofiixu - Jun 30, 2018 / sofiixu - Jul 5, 2018
|"Fashion and writing" - reasons why I think I am a suitable for Fashion Institute of Technology
3 - Chyna, your first paragraph doesn't really help to move the essay along. It would be best to omit that...
UndergraduateChyatte - Jul 3, 2018 / Holt - Jul 4, 2018
||Common App| Caltech Essay - Scientific exploration clearly excites you
4 - Thanks a lot Mr. Holt, you seemed to be very kind and helpful, hehe no one appreciated my essay...
UndergraduatePROFsabi - Jun 28, 2018 / PROFsabi - Jul 1, 2018
|The neighborhood I grew up in (grateful for the great influences and for my parents for being there)
2 - Ana, I feel like this essay focuses too much on you trying to please your parents, without really explaining...
Undergraduatecristina2018 - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|Unprivileged background. USEFP Global UGRAD - my personal statement
2 - Memon, this essay is a bit problematic because it does not really represent the totality of the reviewer's interest...
UndergraduateMEMONSAIF - Jun 22, 2018 / Holt - Jun 23, 2018
|STUDY PLAN for study permit BScience in Canada
4 - Hi, I got special clearance to offer you additional advice to help you better apply my previous advice. This...
UndergraduateAlice_19th - Jun 17, 2018 / Holt - Jun 18, 2018
|Common app. I was given all of these blessings so that I could take advantage of them; trip to india
2 - Parth, what is the common app prompt that you are responding to? Is this your response to prompt 1...
Undergraduatepshah24 - Jun 14, 2018 / Holt - Jun 15, 2018
|I have looked up myself on Google - what's my identity?
Undergraduatenerdygirl - Jun 10, 2018 / Holt - Jun 10, 2018
|How my gender nonconformity molded my aspirations - FIT ADMISSIONS ESSAY
3 - Hi Holt, just wanted to update you and the forum that I had made some changes that you recommended...
Undergraduatej12fab1999 - Dec 10, 2017 / j12fab1999 - Jun 2, 2018
|What Makes Me Different? - My personal statement for American Honors
2 - Kieu, the information in this essay does not make you different. It makes you ordinary. Just like all the...
UndergraduateCharlotte1507 - May 30, 2018 / Holt - May 31, 2018
|What is the thing that you are most afraid of in your life? How do you deal with it?
2 - Chien, aside from the need for some grammar editing, your essay is unique in response and approach. Jealousy isn't...
UndergraduateChien Chi Chen - May 26, 2018 / Holt - May 27, 2018
|Study Plan Letter - following a bachelor degree in Agricultural and Environmental Sciences at McGill
4 - Thanks, @Holt for your evaluation of my letter so far. I will definily take into consideration your review and...
UndergraduateShrimp - May 24, 2018 / Shrimp - May 25, 2018
|Barnard College - Letter of Continued Interest (response to waitlist offer)
NEW - Barnard College admission With both great excitement and disappointment to see my status update on my admission portal...
UndergraduateTooriaV - May 6, 2018 / — -
|Why do you want to be Drum Major and why do you deserve this opportunity?
3 - @Holt I've revised/ completely retyped the essay. I apologize for the unclear prompt. PROMPT: INCORPORATE THE BOLD QUESTIONS...
Undergraduatetuedearerbluejay - Apr 27, 2018 / tuedearerbluejay - May 3, 2018
|My love and Passion for art and design. SCAD statement of purpose (Animation)
NEW - Prompt: The Statement of Purpose should be no more than 500 words in length and should give an overview...
UndergraduateJaden Brown - Apr 24, 2018 / — -
|Essay for Westpoint Humble Beginnings
2 - Sean, I learned a tremendous amount of information about your grandmother and your father in this essay, but I...
Undergraduatesrthornton - Apr 22, 2018 / Holt - Apr 23, 2018
|I need to convience VO that I will return back to my country. SOP
3 - I am not a graduate student, I am enrolling myself in an undergrad program in Actuarial Science. I currently...
Undergraduatesaira_aamir - Apr 21, 2018 / saira_aamir - Apr 22, 2018
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