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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 10)

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Development essay for the next commonwealth scholarship window 2022-2023

3 - Thanks @Holt for the feedback and suggestions...

ScholarshipMullah - Jul 28, 2021 / Mullah - Jul 29, 2021
GKS Personal Statement for Environmental Engineering - "dreaming bigger"

6 - Hi, I think it is too much. You should to check and follow the requirement. Good luck!...

Scholarshipnoxious19 - Jul 8, 2021 / vikedarliyasi - Jul 22, 2021
THE OPPORTUNITY TO GRAB WITH BOTH HANDS - GKS IN MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION PERSONAL STATEMENT

3 - @Holt Hey I saw what all you have suggested and I appreciate that but can I have one to...

Scholarshipsimranmavi03 - Jul 16, 2021 / simranmavi03 - Jul 17, 2021
Application Essay for United World College (2022-2024) - personal statement

2 - The writer has not responded to the prompt at all. The information provided is only cut and paste information...

Scholarshipabhi2312 - Jul 8, 2021 / Holt - Jul 9, 2021
Scholarship application essay for a Masters in Global Health Sc and Epidemiology

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback....

Scholarshipketu2 - Jun 28, 2021 / ketu2 - Jun 30, 2021
Turning Points in My Life - GKS Undergraduate Personal Statement

2 - The scholarship application and appropriate written interview requirements will not be available until September - October. The information requirements...

Scholarshipukh_nisa - Jun 29, 2021 / Holt - Jun 30, 2021
GKS-U SCHOLARSHIP /STUDY PLAN - LANGUAGE COURSE/

5 - Your essay has many errors so I think you should try to write a new one with clear grammar....

Scholarshipdxqos - Jun 24, 2021 / Harinn - Jun 27, 2021
GKS U scholarship application - to innovate for business and economics sectors in Indonesia

2 - This essay is confusing to read due to grammatical inaccuracies. Though the essay does its best to respond to...

Scholarshipkeyshara - Jun 23, 2021 / Holt - Jun 25, 2021
Study Plan for GKS-G Scholarship - Study Plan - Computer Science Undergraduate

3 - @Holt Thank you Very much for your opinion...

Scholarshipjunhao820 - Jun 20, 2021 / junhao820 - Jun 20, 2021
Agriculture and Pest Management - Personal statement for commonwealth scholarship

2 - Save for some researched information, this essay is devoid of any actual content that relates to the given prompts....

ScholarshipNana_Kwabena - Jun 18, 2021 / Holt - Jun 19, 2021
Scientists use living animal to carry our research. Some people think it is interesting.

2 - While the topic is controversial, the presented discussion, which asks for your opinion to be presented, leans more...

Scholarshipducklaconvit - Jun 15, 2021 / Holt - Jun 16, 2021
Personal Statement for apply GKS-U 2022 - Dept. of Nuclear Engineering

3 - @Holt Thank you for your review. I'll be back to you with the new personal statement in the next...

ScholarshipChanihyuck - Jun 3, 2021 / Chanihyuck - Jun 10, 2021
Battling against cancer - Research interest for a PhD application

2 - You need to balance the discussion between 3 aspects: - Your research interest - The potential importance of...

Scholarshipayuhutami - May 31, 2021 / Holt - Jun 1, 2021
Elevate Mental Health Awareness Scholarship

3 - In my opinion, the entire story has yet to justify your decision of becoming a nurse. I think it...

Scholarshipsjplumphippos - May 28, 2021 / ayuhutami - May 31, 2021
Australia Award Scholarship for Master of Architecture - proposed course and institution choice

2 - This is not a competitive presentation. You sound like you are writing a personal statement than a professional motivation....

Scholarshipjhatesnakeu - May 29, 2021 / Holt - May 30, 2021
IMSISS 2020 Personal Statement - Scholarship declined

2 - Please do not think or believe that you were not considered for the scholarship based on a weak motivation...

ScholarshipJourneyman - May 28, 2021 / Holt - May 29, 2021
South Korea is developed technologically - GKS-U Personal statement review

3 - @Holt Oh, sorry I didn't mentioned earlier but this essay is from last year's application. We were instructed to...

ScholarshipDeanRuno - May 25, 2021 / DeanRuno - May 28, 2021
WHY DID YOU PROPOSED COURSE AND INSTITUTION - AAS MASTER OF PUBLIC HEALTH

2 - Immediately connect this statement to dentistry. Most applicants for this come from medical health fields so it is...

ScholarshipVi_Dar - May 27, 2021 / Holt - May 27, 2021
AAS Scholarship: Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? - Master of Public Policy

2 - Which is? You don't need to discuss it in detail here as you will do that in the...

Scholarshipannisar - May 26, 2021 / Holt - May 27, 2021
Reasons for choosing Korea as study abroad destination

4 - You fail to respond to the prompt properly. You need to explain why South Korea attracts you as a...

Scholarshipmelseonnn - May 23, 2021 / techmind20 - May 26, 2021
Plan After Study - Posco Asia Fellowship

3 - Try to breakdown your plans into three parts: short-term, mid-term, and long-term plan. Short term plan is the goal...

ScholarshipSalimakmur - May 23, 2021 / Ulaai - May 26, 2021
AAS - Why did you choose this - Economic Growth

2 - Your reasons for wanting to pursue higher studies are purely research based. It would help if you could offer...

Scholarshipimsyw - May 25, 2021 / Holt - May 25, 2021
I was not selected and I want to know why! | Personal statement of KGSP/GKS 2021

4 - In my opinion, the first paragraph of your essay could have been more unique. "Clean buildings, fantastic scenery, ..."...

Scholarshipapiw - May 21, 2021 / techmind20 - May 23, 2021
Renewable energy - Study goal - Posco Asia Fellowship

6 - Just learning is not a valid study goal. What is the goal and professional application of your research? What...

ScholarshipSalimakmur - May 18, 2021 / Holt - May 23, 2021
Why Master of International Sustainable Tourism Management as a graduate program in Australia? AAS

2 - Huh? You never mentioned what that was. You better offer a clearer professional motivating factor. You should...

Scholarshipshy2shine - May 22, 2021 / Holt - May 22, 2021
Pharmacobiochemistry and environmental biochemistry; Study objective for Fullbright students program

2 - Restate this part to create a global impact on this field of study. The scholarship gives weight to...

Scholarshipimaoakpe - May 20, 2021 / Holt - May 21, 2021
Essay for a medical 'PAINWEEK' conference scholarship

2 - The essay should lose the "We" references since this in an individual rather than group application. The reference to...

Scholarshipgpatama - May 20, 2021 / Holt - May 21, 2021
When Angklung being the Learning Instrument in Europe (Motivation Letter for applying PETaL EMJMD)

3 - @Holt okay, thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it...

Scholarshipmad_amran - May 20, 2021 / mad_amran - May 20, 2021
Starting a business - AAS Scholarship Questions

3 - thank you for your advice...

Scholarshippkla - May 19, 2021 / pkla - May 19, 2021
MSMEs Development - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? (AAS)

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback I totally get your point Will revise accordingly...

Scholarshipsaritasph - May 17, 2021 / saritasph - May 19, 2021
AAS Scholarship - Contribution to solving problems

2 - Work on presenting your work background first. Establish how or what your observations wire that led to the research...

Scholarshiphoangnam - May 18, 2021 / Holt - May 18, 2021
Life is only a chance - Personal Statement for GKS (Global Korea Scholarship)

3 - @Holt Hi, thankyou in advance for giving me a response. Actually I wrote this essay for GKS Undergraduate Program....

Scholarshipvidyainjiela - May 14, 2021 / vidyainjiela - May 16, 2021
Artificial intelligence engineer - Essay for bachelor's degree scholarship

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. I agree with you . But they asked me in another paragraph to...

Scholarshipyesmin - May 14, 2021 / yesmin - May 15, 2021
THE REPLY FOR AAS ESSAY - MY THREE PRACTICAL EXAMPLES AND POTENTIAL CONSTRAINTS

4 - @Holt thank you very for your feedback....

Scholarshipmiumiu18 - Apr 26, 2021 / miumiu18 - May 13, 2021
The Ministry of Finance - STUDY OBJECTIVE FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM

2 - Your study/research objective is limited to your local career path alone. As a Fulbright scholar, your main objective should...

Scholarshipgonzforever - May 11, 2021 / Holt - May 12, 2021
AAS Supporting Statement - Master of Urban Design and Master of Urban Planning

2 - Start the essay by introducing your academic background and relevant work experience. Do not make that information selective based...

ScholarshipJeffrisip - May 8, 2021 / Holt - May 8, 2021
AAS Application Supporting statement - justify postgraduate study in transportation choice

2 - Use the opening paraghap to explain your work related reasons for choosing these courses. That means, you will need...

Scholarshipputri famelia - May 6, 2021 / Holt - May 6, 2021
The reason why I choose the Public Health course

4 - @Holt thank you for your feedback. it is very helpful...

Scholarshipkurulu - Apr 15, 2021 / kurulu - May 6, 2021
Why I take master of agribusiness? AAS Aplication

4 - Dear Holt, thank you a million for your invaluable support I highly appreciate your comments and will certainly use...

ScholarshipFarmer - May 3, 2021 / Farmer - May 5, 2021
Why Master of Governance and Public Policy at the University of Queensland? AAS Application 2021

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for the insight!...

ScholarshipApaajaboleh1 - May 2, 2021 / Apaajaboleh1 - May 3, 2021
Practical examples on how I will use my knowledge - AAS (Master of International Trade)

2 - The constraint that you present must coincide with the solutions and help that the courses you will be studying...

ScholarshipOnbr - Apr 29, 2021 / Holt - Apr 30, 2021
Why Do I Want To Become An Exchange Student In The US.? - scholarship

3 - Hi @juliemikulova In my humble opinion, this essay is too emotional. Not to mention that this essay is...

Scholarshipjuliemikulova - Apr 28, 2021 / Ratudestiani - Apr 29, 2021
Essay for AAS Scholarship: Why I choose supply chain management course

3 - Hi @aditya23 Perhaps, it will be good if you also put the background of the urgency of the...

Scholarshipaditya23 - Apr 28, 2021 / Ratudestiani - Apr 29, 2021
Diet / Nutrition - practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills you will gain

3 - Thank you. Your responses are taken into account. Much appreciated...

Scholarshiplukewaqanivere - Apr 26, 2021 / lukewaqanivere - Apr 27, 2021
I've always been interested in urban planning, that's why I'm pursuing master degree in this field

2 - There are 2 things that your essay fails to address in relation to your chosen course. The first is...

Scholarshipdaskapitallll - Apr 25, 2021 / Holt - Apr 25, 2021
Civil Engineering focused on Geotechnics - AAS Supporting statement

2 - The national program and your desired contribution are not well connected in the second paragraph. It would be better...

Scholarshipncincinci - Apr 23, 2021 / Holt - Apr 24, 2021
AAS - Political Science - How will the proposed study contribute to your career?

2 - Your essay is way over the standard character maximum of 2000 characters. You need to edit your content into...

Scholarshipcalicookies - Apr 22, 2021 / Holt - Apr 23, 2021
Political science - [AAS] Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

5 - Hi @calicookies AAS essays have 2000 character limit, which is around 300 words. I would recommend to shorten the...

Scholarshipcalicookies - Apr 21, 2021 / brsn - Apr 23, 2021
PhD in Engineering (AAS Supporting Statement)

3 - Rather than speaking much of your undergraduate study, you need to focus more on your master degree and research....

Scholarshipmasamune_date - Apr 20, 2021 / calicookies - Apr 22, 2021
Entrepreneurship and Innovation - [AAS] Why did you choose your proposed course?

3 - I suggest you to not waste length of paragraph on explaining the entrepreneurship situation in Indonesia. You can minimize...

Scholarshipandrianiwd - Apr 20, 2021 / calicookies - Apr 22, 2021
World Food Programme - FULBRIGHT STUDY OBJECTIVES

3 - Dear Holt, thank you very much for your invaluable support, you are the Best! I highly appreciate your comments...

ScholarshipFelex - Apr 20, 2021 / Felex - Apr 21, 2021
Why am I applying for Master of Data Science? Proposed course and institution (AAS Essay)

2 - Good job! Well developed, insightful, and forward projecting. It shows that you have given a great thought to your...

Scholarshipsatriaa - Apr 20, 2021 / Holt - Apr 21, 2021
Master's degree in transportation - proposed course and institution

3 - I suggest you to be more analytical to explain the background of your study in the first paragraph. The...

ScholarshipMadam - Apr 19, 2021 / miftahul - Apr 20, 2021
Analyzing complex problems - solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform

NEW - Over the past four years, I have implemented my ability on analyzing complex problems, theoretical and conceptual understanding and...

Scholarshipmiftahul - Apr 20, 2021 / — -
Essay on Contribution of Proposed Study to Career Plan - AAS application for MBA Program

2 - You only gave a description of your career plan. There is no reference to how the learning at the...

ScholarshipOscarPangestu - Apr 12, 2021 / Holt - Apr 20, 2021
ESP practitioner - TESOL and the prospect for my future career (AAS)

2 - This is not a definitive career goal. There is uncertainty in your presentation thus, making the contribution of...

ScholarshipDA786 - Apr 10, 2021 / Holt - Apr 19, 2021
How will Master of International Trade course contribute to my career - Australia Awards Scholarship

2 - Change the first paragraph to reflect that you will be changing your career path from foreign relations manager to...

Scholarshipbrsn - Apr 18, 2021 / Holt - Apr 19, 2021
Motivation Letter for Counter Terrorism and Criminology Course (Australia Awards Scholarship)

2 - You need to relate your current position and position within the agency with your interests in the aforementioned courses....

Scholarshiplisandroid - Apr 18, 2021 / Holt - Apr 19, 2021
The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australia universiti

2 - The lack of image makes the review of this essay difficult. Due to changes in company policy, I am...

Scholarshiprei1412 - Apr 6, 2021 / Holt - Apr 17, 2021
Master of Social Work and Psychology - AAS Supporting Statement

2 - Include information prior to Covid, during Covid, and a projection regarding GBV once the pandemic is lifted or...

ScholarshipRis - Apr 16, 2021 / Holt - Apr 16, 2021

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