|Writing Feedback [23,063] - page 223 of 385|
|Toefl ; Independence from parents
2 - First, it is better if you post the prompt together with your essay so that we can understand what...
Writing Feedbacksanzhar - Dec 3, 2013 / dumi - Dec 3, 2013
|'Jail time or community sevices work' - Ielts essay 02
5 - First, I have an admin request for you - IELTS threads should be opened in Writing Feedback forum (...
Writing FeedbackHgly - Nov 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 3, 2013
|IELTS ; Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society.
Writing Feedbackpooh - Dec 3, 2013 / pooh - Dec 3, 2013
|IELTS (Academic)Task 2- Is advertisement just a form of entertainment?
2 - Well, I think this introduction of the background of this issue is somewhat deviated from the actual one....
Writing FeedbackRachel26HJ - Dec 2, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|IELTS academic - increase petrol price to reduce traffic and pollution
6 - Generally, it is easier for you to take one side of the argument and then give reasons to support...
Writing Feedbacksri_1 - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|IELTS - Is consumerism a Positive or negative development?
3 - The traditional attire for Indian women is saree. Why yous link it with history? sounds redundant :( You...
Writing Feedbackieltsp - Dec 1, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|World Cub can bring people of different ethics, color and language together
3 - ... pretty good introduction.... the only thing that is missing out is your opinion on the issue. It...
Writing Feedbackbatais - Dec 1, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|'Teaching children and goals' - IELTS essay
4 - .... this sentence has many issues.... most importantly clarity and redundancy of words :( There is no denying...
Writing Feedbackqazzas - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|IELTS: The wealth gap between 1st world countries and 3rd world countries
4 - .... let's take this hook statement. I find this has a powerful idea, but it is not presented...
Writing FeedbackGulala - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|IELTS Task 1 : Water consumption around the world
Writing Feedbackbinhpht - Dec 1, 2013 / binhpht - Dec 1, 2013
|Museums - Why People Visit Museums?
5 - yes, the topic suggests so :D What dumi says is that you should have kept the introduction in...
Writing FeedbackOguzhan - Nov 29, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 1, 2013
|'Radio and Television users' - IELTS - Line Graph
Writing FeedbackLifeBringer - Nov 24, 2013 / LifeBringer - Dec 1, 2013
|Every day computer use by children - 'Computer is a miraculous tool'
Writing FeedbackMe1992 - Nov 22, 2013 / Me1992 - Dec 1, 2013
|'Making money first' - IELTS- task 2 cause and effect writing
4 - Than you for your advises. I found that I focus on causes too much then make my solutions weak....
Writing FeedbackOlivia Han - Nov 30, 2013 / Olivia Han - Dec 1, 2013
|IELTS; Freedom, economics and education in China
5 - Economic success is considered to be one of the most important factors in the classification of the countries. ...
Writing Feedbackqusay_75 - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|The 2nd Holocaust - Argumentative essay about Death Penalty.
Writing Feedbackjorgearmando18 - Nov 27, 2013 / batais - Dec 1, 2013
|IELTS-Line graph ( The rate of smoking in Someland - men and women)
Writing Feedbackbloodkid - Nov 28, 2013 / bloodkid - Dec 1, 2013
|IELTS- parents give children TV/PC game to make them quiet,Give your solutions and reason~
7 - thanks dumi!!...
Writing Feedbackduo008 - Nov 28, 2013 / duo008 - Nov 30, 2013
|IELTS task 1 (Cambridge 1) a survey of adult education. (two charts)
5 - Oh, thank you Dumi! You are always in proper time! I noticed that pie-chart is small. But I tried...
Writing Feedbackladyjoy - Nov 28, 2013 / ladyjoy - Nov 30, 2013
|IELTS essay, Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities
7 - great.... I think you should what you desire :) Let us know when you get your score. Also, keep...
Writing Feedbackphuoc - Nov 22, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|IELTS academic - Rules on loan and credit card
Writing Feedbacksri_1 - Nov 27, 2013 / joythblessy - Nov 30, 2013
|IELTS academic - teaching good manners by parents or teachers
4 - This is a very good essay. Your grammar and vocabulary are also good as well. But I think you...
Writing Feedbacksri_1 - Nov 28, 2013 / haodiep7640 - Nov 30, 2013
|"book smarts" and "street smarts" ; The Intellectual Aspect of Nursing essay
Writing FeedbackDonnanicole - Nov 27, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|Journalism article for Final Paper on the Berley brothers
Writing Feedbackariulloa - Nov 25, 2013 / ivylaw - Nov 29, 2013
|'The Laws' - Academic essay on the death penalty, pros and cons
Writing Feedbackalexabutts - Nov 29, 2013 / alexabutts - Nov 29, 2013
|'Education and social disharmony' - IELTS
5 - Nice essay with good ideas. However as this is an argument essay i would suggest you to state your...
Writing Feedbacknidhishaw - Nov 24, 2013 / ieltsp - Nov 29, 2013
|IELTS: 5% unemployed in 1999; rates of unemployment between the US and Japan
Writing Feedbackelenathaopham - Nov 29, 2013 / dumi - Nov 29, 2013
|My view on a perfect Society!
Writing Feedbackroseblack1360 - Nov 9, 2013 / roseblack1360 - Nov 29, 2013
|bar graph task 1 spending money on entertainment
Writing Feedbackladyjoy - Nov 6, 2013 / ladyjoy - Nov 29, 2013
|IELTS Academic Writing Task 2 - Purpose of prison
Writing FeedbackRachel26HJ - Nov 28, 2013 / Rachel26HJ - Nov 28, 2013
|Ielts: cement and concrete production graph
4 - Thanks for your comments, Altaa and Dumi. :) For introduction, can i use the sentence Altaa suggested. It...
Writing Feedbacklongngo - Nov 26, 2013 / longngo - Nov 28, 2013
|Building a large factory in our community - Advantageous or disadvantageous?
4 - really a good essay... try using more synonyms instead of repeating words.. it would look great :)...
Writing Feedbackkhodekhodam - Nov 27, 2013 / sri_1 - Nov 28, 2013
|TOEFL - Why some like to engage in dangerous activities? 'joy and happiness'
Writing Feedbackggalaxy - Nov 27, 2013 / ggalaxy - Nov 28, 2013
|IELTS essay - Teaching children at home or put them in school- pls review n comment
6 - nice vocabulary range and ideas... Maybe a little structuring is needed for the introduction and conclusion paragraphs. ...
Writing FeedbackSreeSam - Nov 27, 2013 / ieltsp - Nov 28, 2013
|IELTS-Mobile phones & the Internet are very useful
5 - You're trying to cramp too much information in a single sentence. Trying to write such sentences increases chances...
Writing FeedbackAUSTINCLUB - Nov 27, 2013 / ieltsp - Nov 28, 2013
|IELTS: Development of a country Vs pollution and environmental damage
Writing FeedbackAltaa - Nov 27, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 28, 2013
|'Women less appreciated in society?' - an IELTS exam
Writing Feedbackalex90 - Nov 27, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 28, 2013
|You should not believe everything that you read in the newspaper.
3 - Thank you for your helping. I was wondering if you kindly let me know about the supposed mark that...
Writing Feedbacknava toloi - Nov 28, 2013 / nava toloi - Nov 28, 2013
|"Every coin has two sides"; Effects of globalization - discuss
7 - at first i guess some words need to be replaced. also you had better talk about other effects of...
Writing FeedbackSreeSam - Nov 26, 2013 / mika1998 - Nov 28, 2013
|Toefl - Should teenagers have paid jobs while they are students? be independent
4 - Thanks, dumi This is my first essay on this forum. Definitely I will switch over to writing feedback forum....
Writing FeedbackAlice123 - Nov 27, 2013 / Alice123 - Nov 28, 2013
|'Our lives and modern inventions' - SAT essay
Writing FeedbackOmar1995mohamed - Jan 21, 2013 / Kondite - Nov 28, 2013
|The high sales of popular consumer goods - Power of advertising Vs Real needs
Writing Feedbackazharkhanfsd - Nov 27, 2013 / — -
|'Why don't we use laughing gas in wars?'
3 - Sir thank you very much for some real grammar check.I believe these valuable suggestions of yours would help improve...
Writing FeedbackRavi Vj - Nov 24, 2013 / Ravi Vj - Nov 27, 2013
|TOEFL IBT - altruistic behavior (Integrated Writing)
Writing Feedbackggalaxy - Nov 26, 2013 / ggalaxy - Nov 27, 2013
|The effects of technology on children - NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE
2 - I don't find this an interesting hook statement. You can do better with your opening sentence :) ...
Writing FeedbackHOL2040366 - Nov 26, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|IELTS essay youth criminals should be punished in the same way as adults ?
4 - Very good introduction - Good structure, vocabulary , grammar etc. :) A teenage murderer would not feel...
Writing Feedbackgabbie - Nov 12, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|EXPLAIN THE CHARACTER OF MR LURIA in " The Halawe'en Party " short story ; Prose essay
4 - He can sometimes be harsh on certain acts of his family members, for example when they go for...
Writing FeedbackTheUnlimited - Nov 13, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|Books? The knowledge learned from experience will remain in our minds better
4 - Thank you so much Your points of views really help me be more ready for the test(TOEFL) I'm going...
Writing Feedbackkhodekhodam - Nov 20, 2013 / khodekhodam - Nov 27, 2013
|I learn about who I am; DEPRESSION & ANXIETY
4 - ... it sounds too general when you declare that everybody experience these things everyday. There may be people...
Writing Feedbacktabithamica - Nov 16, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|Have you ever felt like you don't recognize the feeling of being happy anymore?
3 - This sentence sounds better if you present it in a more simplified version; Have you ever felt that...
Writing FeedbackJumanaa - Nov 16, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|IELTS- opinion about languages dying out
Writing Feedbackmingming - Nov 26, 2013 / SreeSam - Nov 27, 2013
|Financing artists from tax payer's money - Ielts
Writing FeedbackBobbypark - Nov 24, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? Solutions?
7 - You should use more data or statistics to help display how traffic is worsening, some of the major problems,...
Writing Feedbackgtamani - Nov 23, 2013 / desaik111 - Nov 26, 2013
|IELTS-In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth
14 - Hi, Dumi, my tutor insist that Discuss both views and give your own opinion means you should...
Writing Feedbacktiyuok - Nov 22, 2013 / tiyuok - Nov 26, 2013
|IELTS Academic- stringent age rules to reduce the road accidents.
2 - Here you assume the reader knows the argument. However, you are supposed to introduce the argument to the...
Writing Feedbacksri_1 - Nov 26, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|toefl essay, face-to-face communication, seeing the other person eye to eye
2 - Well structured essay. Please take a note on the punctuation. Use comma in appropriate place. Especially after connectives...
Writing FeedbackArinadeer - Nov 26, 2013 / sri_1 - Nov 26, 2013
|Warnings and smoking - IELTS task 2 Academic.
3 - ... well this is not for speech writing, but essay writing. So, avoid unnecessary redundancy. It is well...
Writing Feedbackpakias - Nov 23, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|IELTS ESSAY: People in the past used to be more dependent on one another
4 - This sounds pretty vague :( What sort of transformation it undergoes? Remember, this is your hook statement that...
Writing Feedbackgtamani - Nov 23, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|IELTS: Improving careers or spend time with family and friends more important
3 - It is often believed that money and success are directly correlated with each other. Therefore, some...
Writing Feedbackasmy - Nov 24, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|IELTS Academic essay:Some people think that music brings benefits to individuals
3 - First, I have a small admin request for you; Please open all IELTS essays in Writing Feedback forum :)...
Writing FeedbackDuva - Nov 25, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
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