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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 5)

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Fluent in English, Chinese and Malay - GKS-G Language Study Plan.

2 - The language study plan only concerns English and Hangul. The mention of Malay in this response is unnecessary. Also,...

Scholarshipjyfang1999 - Jan 18, 2023 / Holt - Jan 19, 2023
Four cities erasmus scholarship - Letter of Motivaion

2 - There is no connection between the history, goals, and objectives of 4CITIES with the statement you have created. It...

ScholarshipChampionL - Jan 14, 2023 / Holt - Jan 14, 2023
The misconception of beauty and power; a personal life experience with particular significance

2 - This is most certainly a personal experienced focused on learning self Iove and the true value of a person...

Scholarshipnataliasadhwani - Jan 11, 2023 / Holt - Jan 11, 2023
Essay for a master's degree in labor law (regarding an unfair job recruitment system)

2 - The worst thing that a scholarship applicant can do is use the personal statement, specifically the motivation discussion to...

ScholarshipRamadan - Jan 6, 2023 / Holt - Jan 8, 2023
Passion for physics and chemistry. Motivational Letter - Stipendium Hungaricum, Chemical Engineering

2 - Why do you not trust us with the complete copy of this essay? Your juvenile writing and clear lack...

Scholarshipvokazar - Jan 1, 2023 / Holt - Jan 8, 2023
IMSISS Erasmus Scholarship SOP, International Relation

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback. I'm making corrections right away....

ScholarshipEternal - Jan 4, 2023 / Eternal - Jan 6, 2023
Stipendium Hungaricum motivational letter - MSC Biology in University of Debrecen

3 - I believe that the letter is too long and does not really show your motivation is the mentioned program....

ScholarshipHoangTranDuc - Jan 3, 2023 / bsuzunoglu - Jan 5, 2023
In a couple paragraphs, provide a summary of activities you have completed from the last three years

2 - The presentation format is not correct. When told to write a few paragraphs, provide 2-3 paragraphs that will cover...

ScholarshipSunilPal - Jan 5, 2023 / Holt - Jan 5, 2023
Stipendium Hungaricum motivational letter - MSC Computer Science

3 - Hi, I'm also a newbie in writing a motivation letter or even any letters. I guess try to point...

Scholarshiptuanb2610 - Dec 31, 2022 / franklywritten - Jan 2, 2023
Personal Statement for GKS-G 2023; Cultural Anthropology major

2 - Provide a backgrounder on your father. Where did he work? What was his position? Was he passionate about his...

Scholarshipnidnoi_kuma - Jan 2, 2023 / Holt - Jan 2, 2023
My SOP for a PhD in Data Science and Scientific Computing at the Institute of Science and Technology

2 - PhD studies of the research kind requires the student to portray a sense of continuing research that may have...

Scholarshipewaoluwa26 - Dec 31, 2022 / Holt - Jan 1, 2023
The Introvert - SEAYLP Application: Why is participation in this program important to you?

2 - This is a personal reason that definitely helps add a different touch to the application. However, this cannot be...

Scholarshipnotngoc - Dec 31, 2022 / Holt - Dec 31, 2022
Statement of purpose for pursuing a Bachelor of Computer Science in Hungary.

8 - @ahad checkout other people's SOP to get an insight of how to convert your achievements and education background, relevant...

Scholarshipahad - Dec 10, 2022 / itachi99 - Dec 26, 2022
Global Issues - ACADEMIC OBJECTIVES AND INDICATE HOW THESE ARE APPROPRIATE TO YOUR LONG-RANGE GOALS.

4 - Try to be a little more genuine. Although it is very well written, I think you do not need...

Scholarshipanaluglii - Dec 21, 2022 / bvalkyrianzz - Dec 22, 2022
Leadership Essay Chevening - Sustainable Fashion

2 - I would not refer to modern slavery in this discussion. The screener is not interested in controversial topics. most...

Scholarshipdalrashid - Dec 19, 2022 / Holt - Dec 19, 2022
Bachelor's degree in computer science - scholarship essay for UK universities

2 - There are 2 aspects of this essay that need to be addressed. The first is the section about the...

Scholarshipitachi99 - Dec 18, 2022 / Holt - Dec 18, 2022
NTU Scholarship Essay - Personal Importance - Belief systems

3 - Beware of the negative sentences you put in your presentation. Remember that an essay is a descriptive interview, a...

ScholarshipExceptional - Dec 18, 2022 / bvalkyrianzz - Dec 18, 2022
Passion for Fashion - GKS U Personal Statement 2023

3 - Thanks for your advice.I will try to write another personal statement ....

ScholarshipAlexaaaDay - Dec 17, 2022 / AlexaaaDay - Dec 17, 2022
Study Plan- COMMONWEALTH SHARED SCHOLARSHIPS - the University of Cambridge

3 - @Holt Thank you for the insights. Corrections were made accordingly....

ScholarshipPettypet - Dec 12, 2022 / Pettypet - Dec 16, 2022
Being A Student, A Daughter, A Human Being, and Everything in Between

2 - Do not make blanket assumptions Not everyone grieves in the same way. There are people who do not...

Scholarshipchelseaanasts - Dec 14, 2022 / Holt - Dec 15, 2022
GLOBAL UGRAD Essay 1: I know what I can change and what I have to do!

2 - Skip paragraphs 1 an 2. Those are irrelevant to the prompt focus so the screener will not appreciate the...

ScholarshipLa_la - Dec 12, 2022 / Holt - Dec 12, 2022
More than just school or studying - Global UGRAD Program

2 - The screener will not pay attention to the information in this essay as it does not pertain to community...

ScholarshipOmar_E - Dec 11, 2022 / Holt - Dec 12, 2022
Question : Discuss the differences between the condition in your country now and in the past

2 - Indonesia only became independent 77 years ago. The internet is approximately 39 years old. Therefore, the internet discussion is...

Scholarshipshafirazsya - Dec 11, 2022 / Holt - Dec 11, 2022
Different experiences - Why am I a great candidate for Global Ugrad ?

3 - thank you so much for your feedback, there is a section in the application that asks for the varied...

ScholarshipMeriem slimani - Dec 2, 2022 / Meriem slimani - Dec 2, 2022
Erasmus Personal Statement: GLOCAL Global Political Economy (Track F)

2 - I do not think that consequence is the correct term to use in this case. Consequence refers to a...

Scholarshipmaroksklaut - Nov 30, 2022 / Holt - Dec 1, 2022
Africa and Poverty - personal statement

3 - ... poor family and grew up in a small poor village.... I failed to see the coherence between the...

Scholarshipsimion - Nov 20, 2022 / Bun cha - Nov 25, 2022
Erasmus Mundus - Excellence in Analytical Chemistry (EACH) Motivation Letter

2 - Try to develop the research team participation in the essay since that is an essential part of the discussion....

Scholarshipkuronoma_sawako - Nov 13, 2022 / Holt - Nov 13, 2022
Grandmother and Dominican Republic - my application for Global Ugrad

2 - The aim of the writer is incorrect. The target of the essay should not be what the applicant hopes...

ScholarshipNanya_26 - Nov 12, 2022 / Holt - Nov 13, 2022
Energetic, hardworking and ambitious - great participant in the Global UGRAD Program

2 - The essay is too self centered. Being a Global UGrad participant, the applicant should show a sense of community...

ScholarshipKjavier - Nov 7, 2022 / Holt - Nov 7, 2022
e-health challenge * Leadership and influence

2 - This is a good start to responding to the question. As we both know, the Chevening scholarship is looking...

ScholarshipMamka - Oct 30, 2022 / Holt - Oct 31, 2022
Things that need to be improved - Chevening - leadership essay

2 - The essay is very technical in presentation. It does not carry an ounce of humanity in the leadership and...

Scholarshipidoremi - Oct 29, 2022 / Holt - Oct 29, 2022
Challenges found in Indonesia fashion startups: A Chevening Essay on Studying in the UK

3 - Hi, You have to state clearly why Chevening should select you for the scholarship award not the other....

ScholarshipHlong54 - Oct 21, 2022 / segrid15 - Oct 28, 2022
Master of Fine Art RESEARCH PLAN for MEXT Scholarship Japan 2022

3 - @holt Thank you so much for your advice! It makes sense how i should open it with Indonesia first...

Scholarshiphojichalovers - Oct 26, 2022 / hojichalovers - Oct 27, 2022
Erasmus Mundus Scholarship - Global Market Local Creativities personal statement - Study Track B

2 - You asked, I obliged. Here is the review. The second paragraph would make for a more direct and...

Scholarshipcosmos1171 - Oct 19, 2022 / Holt - Oct 20, 2022
My Performance - Leadership and Influence essay for Chevening

2 - This presentation is not very effective as it does not provide specific instances of leadership nor influencing situations in...

ScholarshipTheYodash - Oct 18, 2022 / Holt - Oct 19, 2022
Commonwealth Scholarship development impact p.1; Climate change poses a huge problem for the planet

2 - Since the writer has not provided the complete essay in response to the given prompts, I find it difficult...

Scholarshipnajam - Oct 15, 2022 / Holt - Oct 16, 2022
The cosmetics market value - Chevening scholarship

3 - Thank you for the reply. Of course that i have professional experience but not in that field. What i...

ScholarshipDelya - Oct 14, 2022 / Delya - Oct 15, 2022
Study abroad - Language Plan for Global Korean Scholarship

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for the directions I did feel like I missed some details and needed advice....

Scholarshipdumbandpabo - Oct 7, 2022 / dumbandpabo - Oct 7, 2022
I want to bring awareness of wildlife conservation. Commonwealth Scholarships - Personal Statement

4 - Well explained essay. Try to also include the reasons for applying to your university of choice...

Scholarshipshraddha1997 - Oct 4, 2022 / Pettypet - Oct 6, 2022
Wildlife conservation. Commonwealth Scholarship - Personal Statement

2 - Since the applicant already has a previous MS certification, his paper should be sounding more professional and more career...

ScholarshipSgogoi - Oct 6, 2022 / Holt - Oct 6, 2022
Digitalization in Indonesia - Career Plan for Chevening Essay

2 - What does the visa policy for Chevening students have to do with the career plans? That is an irrelevant...

Scholarshipaulia - Oct 5, 2022 / Holt - Oct 6, 2022
Chevening Study Essay - Career Change to Arts and Illustration Field

2 - Unfortunately, the Chevening Scholarships are not meant for students who are looking to create a career change for themselves....

ScholarshipTanzeelaWasti - Oct 4, 2022 / Holt - Oct 5, 2022
Master's degree in Korean language and literature - Goal of study and study plan

2 - The goal of study and study plan for a graduate student must be approached based upon the career plan...

ScholarshipSubhratri - Oct 3, 2022 / Holt - Oct 3, 2022
"For the longest time I dreamed"- GKS- U Personal Statement

4 - Hi Mowa, I think you should delete that part where you talk about becoming a pediatritian, that part...

ScholarshipMowa - Sep 22, 2022 / kiale - Oct 2, 2022
Ambitious things in life - ugrad SOP

4 - I think you should try to give more personal motivations into your SOP in order to be an outstanding...

ScholarshipKenChicken - Sep 20, 2022 / leo0528 - Sep 30, 2022
Scholarship essay for M.A Learning Science

2 - The discussions provided are relevant but does not highlight anything special about the applicant. Since this is a scholarship...

ScholarshipChukwuagozie - Sep 29, 2022 / Holt - Sep 30, 2022
Questbridge Personal Essay - Context in which you grew up - "Life in America"

4 - @Holt Thanks for the feedback, my teacher said the same thing. I'll be sure to edit it....

Scholarshipsaady1519 - Sep 23, 2022 / saady1519 - Sep 27, 2022
Using what you know about Edtech in Africa and Arizona State Uni, why are you interested in this?

3 - Thank you very much for your feedback...

ScholarshipChukwuagozie - Sep 26, 2022 / Chukwuagozie - Sep 27, 2022
GKS - Study plan Language Before and after (Undergraduate); practice journal and Korean classes

2 - The prior to arrival activities for language development of both English and Hangul are good enough. It shows that...

Scholarshipmiesse - Sep 26, 2022 / Holt - Sep 27, 2022
Questbridge Short Answer Essay - Proudest Achievement/Moment; I led prayer at the Islamic center

2 - The essay feels under developed. While the first and second paragraphs are striking and somewhat memorable, there is a...

Scholarshipzamzap - Sep 26, 2022 / Holt - Sep 27, 2022
Names can determine one's destiny; the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspiration

2 - The context in which you grew up and formed your aspirations should not be focused on the name pronounciation...

Scholarshiphli6855 - Sep 25, 2022 / Holt - Sep 26, 2022
College prompt for the scholarhip essay on my proudest achievements happened so far

2 - Left what? Home? School? An organization? This sentence should set up the whole statement instead, it confuses the...

Scholarshipaytaiwo - Sep 25, 2022 / Holt - Sep 26, 2022
Public Health methods - CAREER PLAN - COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP

3 - @Holt Thank you for the insights. I'll make improvements bearing in mind your inputs....

ScholarshipPettypet - Sep 23, 2022 / Pettypet - Sep 25, 2022
Mastery Choir - QuestBridge National College Match Short Answer

2 - This essay is good in terms of narration. It delivers a strong connection between the accomplishment and the overall...

Scholarshiplt3737 - Sep 23, 2022 / Holt - Sep 24, 2022
COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP: Development Impact statement

2 - We have a one essay per thread policy here so I can only provide advice on the first post....

ScholarshipPettypet - Sep 22, 2022 / Holt - Sep 23, 2022
I am interested in Kpop. 2023 GKS-U language study plan to improve foreign languages.

6 - I agree with @Mowa. The mention of Kpop might be a phrase/ statement used by so many applicants. I...

ScholarshipHannakei - Aug 31, 2022 / Pettypet - Sep 22, 2022
KGSP - personal statement - physics; I see a versatile and significant vocation

4 - @Holt Thank you for your advice! :)...

Scholarshipkiale - Sep 14, 2022 / kiale - Sep 22, 2022
Digitally talented person. Chevening Scholarships: Leadership & Influence

2 - This is neither the kind of leadership nor influencing essay that will make it past the screening round. It...

Scholarshipinekeyuliam - Sep 21, 2022 / Holt - Sep 22, 2022
Economics GKS personal statement undergraduate - public economics

2 - The essay is highly informative and well developed. That is the problem with the presentation. The writer has used...

Scholarshipgeovannafrra - Sep 18, 2022 / Holt - Sep 19, 2022
Accounting - Statement of purpose for POSCO Scholarship

4 - I am not a teacher, it is just my humble comment depending on my experience, so don't be so...

Scholarshipnitakajole - Sep 13, 2022 / mt30 - Sep 15, 2022

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