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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 13)

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GKS Graduate 2021 - Masters in International Business (Personal Statement)

3 - Hi Olivia! The feedback that I have for you is that it looks too short or simplified. I would...

Scholarshippetitemuncher - Feb 4, 2021 / oahr93 - Feb 14, 2021
The Trip - Global UGRAD Program application essay - Why Participate?

2 - This is not really a leadership experience within a community. There is a lack of physical interaction on a...

Scholarshiplemeigeni - Feb 9, 2021 / Holt - Feb 10, 2021
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD program? Powerful vision and effort.

2 - The scholarship program always bases its first consideration of the applicant based on his community leadership skills and abilities....

ScholarshipAlvaro - Feb 9, 2021 / Holt - Feb 10, 2021
Personal Statement for GKS's graduate studies in Visual Communication Design

2 - Your personal statement is not based on the proper information requirement for the presentation. The personal statement for the...

Scholarshipfranbrown - Feb 7, 2021 / Holt - Feb 7, 2021
To serve my country - UGRAD exchange program why am I a great participant for this program

2 - The first part of the presentation makes you sound like a beauty pageant contestant. You may want to rethink...

Scholarshipmariami_77 - Feb 6, 2021 / Holt - Feb 7, 2021
My paragraph for applying for a scholarship about experience in Sweden

2 - Do not divide the information in the presentation. Either focus on your company or focus on the UN 2030...

ScholarshipHena - Feb 6, 2021 / Holt - Feb 6, 2021
Masters' in Environmental Science and Engineering - Statement of purpose for GKS program.

2 - The other half of the paragraph 4 content belongs in the study plan. Remove all references to the study...

Scholarshipbonsena - Feb 5, 2021 / Holt - Feb 6, 2021
The kindness of strangers - Scholarship essay about financial need

2 - Balance the focus between financial need and the intended long term career path. You have over focused on your...

ScholarshipDorsey - Feb 4, 2021 / Holt - Feb 4, 2021
Personal Statement Fulbright Scholarship (Master's degree program in Mining Engineering)

2 - This essay only covers the information regarding your undergraduate course, special interest, and practical experience. It does not contain...

Scholarshipmirz - Feb 2, 2021 / Holt - Feb 3, 2021
I am writing for my NTU scholarship essay, "Practice Makes Perfect".

3 - @RowenTey I did apply for a scholarship at NTU in 2018 and I had 25% reduction in my tuition...

ScholarshipRowenTey - Jan 31, 2021 / FAWAZ - Feb 1, 2021
WHAT THE YOUNGER GENERATION NEED - JOURNALISM, AN ESSAY FOR TURKIYE SCHOLARSHIPS

3 - @Holt Hi, thanks for your advice! but if I may know, how to write a compelling first sentence so...

ScholarshipShara Fazhalia - Jan 30, 2021 / Shara Fazhalia - Jan 31, 2021
My Study Plan for writing the Language Proficiency Test and the GRE

2 - I am not sure what you mean by "writing these exams." Do you mean you wish to take these...

ScholarshipJibolar - Jan 30, 2021 / Holt - Jan 31, 2021
Productive high-school years - UWC scholarship essay

3 - I think you did not focus on the main goal of how you are going to contribute to UWC....

ScholarshipErmuun - Jan 25, 2021 / AbdelrahmanWal4 - Jan 26, 2021
The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities

3 - I believe that you had better not use contractions like ''didn't''. Instead, just write did not. Be aware of...

Scholarshipdinoraachilova - Jan 14, 2021 / AbdelrahmanWal4 - Jan 26, 2021
Why did you choose the Master of Taxation at the University of Sydney? AAS Supporting Statement

2 - Since this is a word limited response, you need to balance the presentation to reflect a proper discussion for...

ScholarshipStephan - Jan 26, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
An ardent passion for the electric energy industry. Erasmus program motivation letter 2021

2 - Remove the link to the article. Believe me, the reviewer isn't going to read it. Your narration should tell...

Scholarshipmic - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Security and gender - Erasmus Mundus Scholarship Personal Statement

2 - I feel like there is a missing link in this presentation. As this is a personal statement, it has...

Scholarshipcassandravd - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Applying the time with industry experts in Sweden to the Ghanaian construction industry

2 - The second paragraph is more direct to the point and should open the statement response. However, only the first...

ScholarshipFAWAZ - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Senior Teacher at the University of Adelaide and Monash University? Why?

2 - Your backstory is too long. Summarize that part and immediately present the reasons why you chose this masters course...

ScholarshipKyaw Min - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
The structural engineering field - Application to an Erasmus Scholarship

2 - The first paragraph that you wrote is really unnecessary. The reviewer already knows the purpose of the motivation letter...

Scholarshipluchernandezse - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
Statement of Purpose GKS Food Science Major

2 - You need more specifics in this statement of purpose. You have already worked in a nutritional laboratory and done...

ScholarshipAlfredoCruz - Jan 25, 2021 / Holt - Jan 25, 2021
Describing how my experience and knowledge in my study abroad can be applied.

3 - Thanks @holt will review it....

ScholarshipYuceeh - Jan 22, 2021 / Yuceeh - Jan 23, 2021
Business Administration: Personal Statement for KGSP Application

3 - I will definitely work on it, thank you...

ScholarshipMowumi - Jan 21, 2021 / Mowumi - Jan 22, 2021
HRM impact - reasons have encouraged me to apply the Global Korea Scholarship Program

2 - If your parents are the ones saying this, then there should not be a reference to Nelson Mandela....

Scholarshipitsmeemyyy - Jan 20, 2021 / Holt - Jan 21, 2021
Statement of Purpose_ Erasmus + EPOG Joint Master's Degree Programme

2 - There is no evidence of you having an interest in learning about Economics in a manner that is not...

Scholarshiphnoman - Jan 20, 2021 / Holt - Jan 20, 2021
Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus CLMC programme scholarship

2 - The personal statement is good. However, there are sections that would better serve a purpose in your motivational letter....

ScholarshipRS09 - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
[NTU Scholarship Essay] Values And Beliefs You Hold Strongly To - 'to start to be great'

2 - You have not responded to the task. There are certain belief and value systems associated with the character and...

ScholarshipDksDZFwC - Jan 17, 2021 / Holt - Jan 18, 2021
Pharmacist - Personal Statement & for Commonwealth PhD Scholarship Application

4 - Thanks a lot @Holt & @ Jibolar....

ScholarshipKhanChughta - Jan 15, 2021 / KhanChughta - Jan 16, 2021
Motivation Letter for Erasmus+ EMJMD Management and Engineering of Environment and Energy+ (ME3)

2 - Dear concerned who? For a proper opening salutation, simply address the members of the scholarship admissions committee. Say, "To...

ScholarshipWaseem071 - Jan 15, 2021 / Holt - Jan 16, 2021
[KGSP-G] - International Trade Studies (GSIS) - Personal Statement

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your helpful comment. I will fix it according to your suggestions. Have a...

Scholarshipnhunggngu - Jan 13, 2021 / nhunggngu - Jan 15, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Mechanical engineering

2 - - This is not an acceptable reason for the reviewer. Remember, you completed an English language course in...

Scholarshipdulguxun - Jan 14, 2021 / Holt - Jan 15, 2021
The Ashram visit - a personal life experience that has had particular significance for you

2 - Being from India, you are familiar with the ashram definition. Since the reviewer is not from India, you need...

Scholarshipshreshthbh - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
Undergrad Scholarship Essay About My Beliefs and Values - "Cooperation, Diligence, and Duty"

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. It was very much needed....

Scholarshipsrjvob - Jan 13, 2021 / srjvob - Jan 13, 2021
Erasmus Mundus Scholarship - Can professional background be far more greater favorable than academic

2 - Paragraph 5 should be placed int he SOP, not in the motivation letter. That reference is more relevant to...

Scholarshipdisconnect - Jan 11, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Motivation letter to apply for Phd program in Neurosciences

3 - @Holt Thank you so much, I would have never thought how the Bold actually looks ! also thank you...

ScholarshipMeri_ami - Jan 11, 2021 / Meri_ami - Jan 11, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Political Science and International Relations BA

3 - @Holt thank you very much for your swift feedback. I wrote this 3rd paragraph in order to explain the...

Scholarshipfiratefe - Jan 10, 2021 / firatefe - Jan 10, 2021
Arts and Social Sciences - Korean MBA program - government GKS (Personal statement)

3 - @Holt Thanks so much for the feedbacks! Just to clarify, the MBA program that I'm applying is a non-thesis...

Scholarshipzubair8 - Jan 9, 2021 / zubair8 - Jan 10, 2021
ICT teacher - Scholarship essay about achievements

3 - @Holt Thank you for your response and I will take your advice and talk about an activity that...

ScholarshipYoussef3453 - Jan 8, 2021 / Youssef3453 - Jan 9, 2021
Applying the knowledge and experience gained from study in Sweden in your organisation and country

3 - thanks Holt! will refine this according to your feedback....

Scholarshipcaplang60 - Jan 9, 2021 / caplang60 - Jan 9, 2021
My dream goal is to be a lecturer. Personal Statement for GKS-G 2021

5 - Hello! *First of all, from your essay it is almost impossible to understand which major you want to...

Scholarshiptaniiia - Jan 3, 2021 / mikka - Jan 8, 2021
(GKS-G/KGSP-G) Personal Statement - Global Studies Major

4 - Hello! In my opinion "As far as I know, South Korea (...) " is not a good motivation. Every...

ScholarshipLalunafr - Dec 29, 2020 / mikka - Jan 8, 2021
Motivation Letter for Stipendium Hungaricum, for Bsc in The Electronics Industry field

3 - Dear @ Holt Thanks for your advice. I will post the revised Motivational Letter based on your points....

Scholarshipmnajib7 - Jan 7, 2021 / mnajib7 - Jan 8, 2021
Dublin - Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus in GLOCAL Programme, Global Markets

2 - Your first paragraph sounds more like something out of the website rather than an original thought that is supposed...

Scholarshipclaffec3 - Jan 7, 2021 / Holt - Jan 8, 2021
How to apply to Glocal Erasmus Mundus Track D Industrial dynamics and sustainability

2 - Shorten your relevant experience and background. Simplify that presentation so that you will still have space to discuss how...

ScholarshipDavidCA - Jan 7, 2021 / Holt - Jan 7, 2021
PERSONAL STATEMENT/ Masters in Human Nutrition in South Korea / [SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION]

2 - Since the personal statement requires you to present a strong connection to South Korea, it would be in the...

Scholarshipmanabae - Jan 6, 2021 / Holt - Jan 7, 2021
Personal Statement, Erasmus Scholarship: GLOCAL Master program, study track Sustainable Business

4 - This essay has good structure and flow. My suggestion is you have proof-read and grammar check for your essay...

ScholarshipACx - Jan 4, 2021 / felicity96 - Jan 6, 2021
Egypt student - what does make you candidate for this program?

3 - it is for summer program in Tulane university and how can I edit on it please could you help...

ScholarshipA7zanany - Jan 5, 2021 / A7zanany - Jan 6, 2021
Motivation Letter for Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship for MSc inn Electrical Engineering

2 - You have covered almost all of the required information in the given discussion list. However, the first part, is...

ScholarshipMurtaza Ali - Jan 5, 2021 / Holt - Jan 6, 2021
Studying International Relations in Hungary - Stipendium Hungaricum Motivation Letter

3 - @Holt Thank you Holt. By the way, I will post my new Motivation Letter based on what you...

ScholarshipIgorFR - Jan 4, 2021 / IgorFR - Jan 5, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum Motivational Letter For Architecture

7 - @mairanoor I think this is a very expanded explanation of one simple question. you should answer this question more...

Scholarshipmairanoor - Jan 3, 2021 / Murtaza Ali - Jan 5, 2021
An impact (college application); Cite any cases in which you thought and/or made attempts in ways...

3 - @Holt Thank you for your commentary. I will consider another example...

ScholarshipElee_Akin - Jan 3, 2021 / Elee_Akin - Jan 4, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum Motivation Letter for Geography Major

4 - @haneejah You also have to answer the following points: How will you apply your new skills and qualifications when...

Scholarshiphaneejah - Jan 3, 2021 / Muneeb10 - Jan 4, 2021
Essay to enroll in the global studies program

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate that!...

Scholarshipelsha - Jan 2, 2021 / elsha - Jan 4, 2021
Deeper understanding of the world - United World College (UWC) application essay

2 - You sound like you are merely mouthing the information that is readily available on the website of UWC rather...

ScholarshipShadman - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 3, 2021
Scholarship application - relating academic objective with future goal

6 - @Murtaza Ali Thank you very much for your time reading my answer and giving suggestions where relevant. I have...

Scholarshipsajedul123 - Dec 24, 2020 / sajedul123 - Jan 2, 2021
Reasons and motivations to study in Korea (education studies)

2 - This is a solid representation of the prompt discussion instructions. You have covered all of the bases in terms...

ScholarshipAlfredoCruz - Jan 1, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
Stipendium Hungaricum - Motivation letter bachelor scholarship Europe

3 - @Holt Thankyou very much for your review, I will try my best to fix my letter. Once again, Thankyou...

ScholarshipAlex113 - Dec 30, 2020 / Alex113 - Dec 30, 2020
Erasmus Mundus scholarship- Global market, local creativity SOP

2 - I reviewed your essay several times and have come to the conclusion that you forgot to integrate the potential...

ScholarshipPorchao - Dec 30, 2020 / Holt - Dec 30, 2020
Children's Literature, Media, and Culture program

2 - The first paragraph is all over the place. That should be the motivating statement in the essay. Yet you...

Scholarshiptzky - Dec 29, 2020 / Holt - Dec 30, 2020
My motivation essay for Stipendium Hungaricum, masters program, bachelors in Accounting & Finance

4 - Hi, I have one suggestion that is instead of listing your achievements numerically you could get into more details...

Scholarshipsateeshkumar00 - Dec 24, 2020 / azulamikaelson - Dec 29, 2020

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