|Writing Feedback [23,070] - page 220 of 385|
|IELTS: men/women 'oriented' studies - equal numbers of male and female students
4 - Yes, raj is absolutely right! .... word count is very important for you to go for a good band....
Writing Feedbackcherrymonster - Jan 2, 2014 / Pahan - Jan 5, 2014
|International events show peaceful things for people, distracts from problems
3 - no, it is a discussion essay. thank you, now i can change something in this essay, but please help...
Writing Feedbacknana867 - Jan 4, 2014 / nana867 - Jan 4, 2014
|Interest in subject , gain qualification - the result of a survey of adult education
4 - Well, this task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills. So, you need to be more formal...
Writing Feedbackfarideh - Dec 22, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 4, 2014
|IELTS; Disparities in earnings of different professionals
5 - dumi has suggested you a good structure to construct your introduction. You can re-write the intro by following her...
Writing Feedbackelenaz - Dec 30, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 4, 2014
|Music is the face of the country - IELTS band.
4 - I too strongly advise you to follow dumi's structure. Your essay needs improvement in its structure very badly. ...
Writing FeedbackAdele_Riva - Jan 2, 2014 / Pahan - Jan 4, 2014
|Employers reward members of staff for their contribution...
6 - ... this sentence is poorly constructed ...not good grammar too :( On the other hand, by rewarding only...
Writing Feedbacknmtuan3497 - Jan 2, 2014 / Pahan - Jan 4, 2014
|All cats are gray in dark- Nowadays people pay much more time and money on appearance
8 - dumi Thanks! Actually I wanted to discuss about raise of cosmetic use and cosmetic surgeries, and some ways to...
Writing Feedbackminaf - Jan 1, 2014 / minaf - Jan 4, 2014
|IELTS essay - Is the re introduction of criminals in societies is justified?
Writing FeedbackSreeSam - Jan 3, 2014 / dumi - Jan 3, 2014
|Television teaches violence - my paragraph about television.
Writing Feedbacknghiavtran - Jan 3, 2014 / nghiavtran - Jan 3, 2014
|War weapons and increasing rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves
7 - Many thanks to you, SreeSam! I agree with you that there are some mistakes in my essay such as...
Writing Feedbackquocthai7005 - Jan 1, 2014 / quocthai7005 - Jan 3, 2014
|We did not have smart phones - Doing the same thing and avoiding change?
Writing Feedbackjannychen - Jan 1, 2014 / jannychen - Jan 3, 2014
|Is there a secret way to be safe? "You are going to lead our department one day"
2 - Make the first two sentences in which you answer the prompt the last ones after the first paragraph....
Writing Feedbackxmo8omx - Jan 2, 2014 / ygicantoo - Jan 3, 2014
|Is there anyone in this world who does not want to be rich? Reasons for making money
Writing FeedbackSreeSam - Jan 1, 2014 / tazhww - Jan 2, 2014
|Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman's place is in the home......
Writing Feedbackbash_shell - Dec 30, 2013 / dumi - Jan 2, 2014
|IELTS Task 2 - Everyone should stay in school until age of eighteen. Agree or disagree?
3 - The best way to aim for a better score is to follow an appropriate essay structure that helps...
Writing FeedbackmayaRa - Jan 1, 2014 / dumi - Jan 2, 2014
|teaching statement for faculty position; my experience; teaching philosophy
Writing Feedbacksafaabu - Dec 31, 2013 / mayaRa - Jan 1, 2014
|IELTS; Can you justify high earnings of sports professionals?
2 - Improve on your introduction. As dumi suggests in this forum, This is the structure I suggest you for...
Writing Feedbackcengizaglar - Dec 30, 2013 / SreeSam - Jan 1, 2014
|Toefl Essay - Protecting Endangered animals is not important?
2 - I would take out "in my opinion" from the first sentence. The reader already knows that it is your...
Writing FeedbackJamilson - Dec 31, 2013 / hgood - Dec 31, 2013
|Hilary Clinton Facebook fan pages - my own writing prompt
2 - I love this!! It is really unique and well written. You could've gone really cliche but you didn't :)...
Writing Feedbackamarao96 - Dec 31, 2013 / a_foster - Dec 31, 2013
|IELTS Task 2 - Facing Change vs Avoiding Change. Discuss and give opinion.
Writing FeedbackmayaRa - Dec 26, 2013 / mayaRa - Dec 30, 2013
|IELTS : Some people think that families have the most powerful influence on children
Writing FeedbackNguyen Nhi Thao - Dec 26, 2013 / Nguyen Nhi Thao - Dec 29, 2013
|CBEST Technology is out of control or has improved the quality of life?
3 - ...."Some" sounds better than "Many"; Some people believe that technology has gone out of control. What...
Writing Feedbackiwtny - Nov 26, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|the two methods of manufacturing black tea
5 - The aim of this report is to describe the traditional and modern methods of manufacturing black tea. The first...
Writing Feedbackelenaz - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|IELTS Task2: Comfortable lifestyle i.e. Materialism Vs Traditional Values
Writing Feedbackraj_ielts - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|[TOEFL]which types of transportation will you choose if traveling from your home to a..
Writing Feedbacksomething - Dec 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|TOEFL - 'you don't spend a lot of money' - the best way to travel is in group led by tour guide
3 - In summary part, you should write about why you prefer to travel with the group by rewrite the reasons...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 21, 2013 / something - Dec 29, 2013
|Traditional music is more important than international - 'takes us home'
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 23, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|TOEFL; Hiring experienced worker at higher salary or inxeperienced worker at lower salary?
6 - I think this essay is too short. You should write at least 3 paragraphs that include Introduction, example and...
Writing FeedbackArinadeer - Dec 1, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|[TOEFL] university dormitories or apartments in the community?
Writing Feedbacksomething - Dec 27, 2013 / something - Dec 28, 2013
|Both sides have very valid points; GUN CONTROL
2 - In your last paragraph you say you need to take a side, so what's your opinion? Make it clearer....
Writing FeedbackAwarren - Dec 28, 2013 / iacero - Dec 28, 2013
|Many tertiary institutions; University should accept gender equality in classes
Writing Feedbackasdrubaljimenez - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|LEAVING YOUR COUNTRY TO LIVE OR STUDY ABROAD: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES
5 - Thank you :) I correct it: In some recent years, there has been an increasingly controversial issue as to...
Writing Feedbacknybui212223 - Dec 26, 2013 / nybui212223 - Dec 27, 2013
|Is competition good? Yes and No both!
3 - Hope this article would help you polish this essay further; Competition is a contest between people or groups...
Writing Feedbackjaclyn1 - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|BENEFITS OF READING
Writing Feedbackvenguyen - Dec 19, 2013 / venguyen - Dec 27, 2013
|GRE Issue Essay - Scandals are more useful than speakers or reformers - feedback
Writing Feedbacknpbart - Dec 25, 2013 / npbart - Dec 27, 2013
|[TOEFL] Agree/Disagree? - Secure job with low pay or job with high pay but easy to lose
Writing FeedbackAllen Hu - Dec 5, 2013 / sanzhar - Dec 26, 2013
|Getting advice from friends who are older vs friends of your own age
4 - Well, it is better to preserve a general tone throughout your essay. Your topic is not directed at...
Writing Feedbacksclee2090 - Dec 25, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|'Babasaheb Ambedkar'; hich one person in the history would you like to meet?
Writing Feedbackakshayj25 - Nov 22, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|ART SHOULD NOT BE FUNDED BY THE GOVERNMENT; AGREE/ DISAGREE?
4 - sree_raj Thanks sree_raj, its a nice essay with lot of information and good vocab.I'm making a note of...
Writing Feedbacksree_raj - Dec 19, 2013 / raj_ielts - Dec 26, 2013
|IELTS(Introduction)- Technology Vs Communication/Using Computer/Women in army
Writing FeedbackArun0506 - Dec 26, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2013
|Some people believe in co-educational classes and others believe in segregated ones
3 - Great advice by Pahan and Misterwandering and it's really good to have you guys around !Take those points they've...
Writing Feedbackminaf - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|TOEFL; What is the most important room for you? playstation in my bedroom
3 - Yes, this is very important for us to understand your writing better and provide meaningful feedbacks. Anyway, your...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|enthusiastic generation; Who brings up the children: Parents or Teachers
6 - Merry Christmas to you too Arun! ... actually, there is a thing called imprinting. It is that...
Writing FeedbackArun0506 - Dec 23, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|No human being is exactly alike - CLEP composition exam
Writing Feedbackpsjoyce46 - Dec 23, 2013 / akhilles97 - Dec 24, 2013
|IELTS essay : Young people move to cities
4 - However, this phenomenon may cause several negative consequences. "There can be no doubt" - this unnecessarily...
Writing Feedbackgabbie - Dec 22, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 24, 2013
|Entertainment, culture, heritage - What do we need music?
5 - .... this sentence is confusing. I think you have chosen the word advocate without knowing its proper meaning...
Writing Feedbackfarideh - Dec 21, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 24, 2013
|Integrated TOEFL essay; Unexpected effects
3 - First and admin request - You should open new threads for all TOEFL essays in Writing Feedback forum. Also,...
Writing FeedbackApik - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Every year some languages die out; language as the most important achievment
3 - ..as the most important achievement we have made... ..as many languages have been developed , each language has its...
Writing Feedbackfatihy007 - Dec 9, 2013 / niesaysi - Dec 24, 2013
|Why do we need music? 'effect on the infants'
8 - you said that which music was more important.This sentence can be true but you have to say that which...
Writing FeedbackHelpmepassIELTS - Nov 26, 2013 / okaert - Dec 23, 2013
|IELTS; Both parents, father and mother, are indispensable to grow up a child
Writing Feedbackeagle112 - Dec 21, 2013 / eagle112 - Dec 23, 2013
|INTEGRATED WRITING; Globalization leads to a similarity of nations
Writing FeedbackAbrorjon_20 - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 22, 2013
|GRE Analytical Writing - Argument Essay - Adams Realty and Fitch Realty
NEW - Hello! I would very appreciate reviewing of my first writing for GRE. I especially need the evaluation of my...
Writing Feedbackichibanchi - Dec 22, 2013 / — -
|Countries should not isolate themselves from the world but instead engage other countries.
8 - If the hook is so problematic for you, jut forget it and start with the background part of the...
Writing FeedbackBullet32 - Dec 8, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|TOEFL essay: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than foreign country
2 - @ Ninita - I provided you with a structure to construct your introduction. I wish you follow that. Do...
Writing FeedbackNinita - Dec 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|Toefl; Self studying or studying with a teacher?
4 - thank you so much pahan for your helping.In toefl essay, I need to develop my ideas very quickly, therefore...
Writing Feedbackokaert - Dec 16, 2013 / okaert - Dec 21, 2013
|When students evaluate their teachers, teachers can know what they need to improve themselves
4 - Well, I think it is better if you take some extra care in presenting your essay. Everything seems cramped...
Writing Feedbackphuongnam95 - Dec 13, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 21, 2013
|Internships are required for university students in order to graduate.
3 - Your whole essay looks like just one paragraph. That's no good dear :( What is this writing for? TOEFL...
Writing Feedbackgabiglima - Dec 13, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 21, 2013
|Food is easier to prepare; life's more convenient for people, save a lot of time
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 21, 2013 / Ninita - Dec 21, 2013
|The educational process - Parents are the best teachers?
7 - That's very kind of you.thanks 4 ur encouragement. pls always have time to review my work,i believe with your...
Writing Feedbackebychris - Dec 19, 2013 / ebychris - Dec 21, 2013
|Same amount of money for students' sports activity/ university library?
Writing Feedbackftn - Dec 20, 2013 / ftn - Dec 20, 2013
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