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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 231)

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Earth Runs Out of Natural Resources - Space exploring might be a good solution. IELTS 2

2 - Sharfina, your discussion of the essay topic os good. However, I would have liked to see more ownership in...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Feb 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 5, 2016
Astronauts travelling space will bring proud impression to their countries

2 - Sharfina, pay attention to grammar details. The event that Neil Armstrong participated in happened in the past. Why are...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Feb 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 5, 2016
Descriptive writing : A street market in summer in a hot climate

4 - Samuel, the reason that I said that you cannot write a descriptive essay from a first person point of...

Writing FeedbackSamuelsam123 - Feb 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 5, 2016
There are ten series of action in the process of chocolate production

3 - Linda, you need to do a better job of summarizing the information at the beginning of your essay. A...

Writing FeedbackLinda91 - Feb 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 5, 2016
IELTS Taks 1 _ Housing designs for cool and for warm climates

2 - ... designs that can be applied based on the ARE APPLICABLE TO VARIOUS climate conditionS. ...are related to the...

Writing Feedbackwulanbila16 - Feb 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 5, 2016
IELTS TAKS 2 : the best method of learning, through group study or independent study?

3 - however in my opinions studying together with other friends areis more benefitbeneficial. has a purpose to educate the...

Writing FeedbackADIE08 - Feb 5, 2016 / putri22 - Feb 5, 2016
PRODUCTION PROCESS OF FROZEN FISH PIES - several machines and equipment involved

2 - Good job Icha.However I think your second paragraph needs an improvement. Compared to your last paragraph, it is simpler...

Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Feb 5, 2016 / angga93 - Feb 5, 2016
Many children in schools have recommended to study foreign languages at an earlier stage - IELTS 2

2 - A Second language is ... It is argued that many children in schools have BEEN recommended to study ......

Writing FeedbackArundyna - Feb 5, 2016 / akbarmappiare - Feb 5, 2016
A breakdown of international trade of transports that use combination of both fuel and electricity

3 - A breakdown of international trade (...) largest selling over the timeframe. Overall, the number of vehicles sold experienced noticeable...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 8, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
It would be better for their health if every child had a high awareness for keeping fit.

2 - These days and ages, most [...] awareness to protect his life. Today's issue is child health. Since children...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 21, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
IELTS 1: The percentage of teachers recruitment by year of graduation in Ontario

5 - Students who graduated in 2001 and taught [...] for both French and English teachers. Initially, teachers of both languages...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 20, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
The two techniques of study and each has some merits and demerits

NEW - Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it...

Writing Feedbackdcho23 - Feb 5, 2016 / — -
IELTS task 2: The choice of study style can determine people's further achievements

2 - ...

Writing Feedbackangga93 - Feb 5, 2016 / ichatea07 - Feb 5, 2016
Different methods of learning should be incorporated into a teaching process

2 - To find a precise OPERATIVE learning method is very important. ... either studying alone or studying with A group...

Writing Feedbackputri22 - Feb 5, 2016 / ichatea07 - Feb 5, 2016
Each student has their own study style. Which one is the most effective?

NEW - Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it...

Writing FeedbackLinda91 - Feb 5, 2016 / — -
The number of inhabitants increased rapidly in the period of 1900-2000 in different world regions

2 - The most significant fact to emerge [...] percentage out of the other areas. Overall, the rise in the...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 7, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: Should be the government control the water consumption of residents?

3 - As water is a valuable resource, [...] or disagree with this statement? Over-population causes water shortages. As such, it...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 7, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: ATTRACTIVE BUILDINGS OR PUBLIC SERVICES

3 - The architecture as a vital element of country improvement [...] more benefits than build any spectacular scaffoldings. It is...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 6, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
People can increase the quality of learning outcomes by knowing the most effective way to learn

2 - good job!!!, I think you could write well but let me give you slight suggestion. 1. the formula...

Writing Feedbackwulanbila16 - Feb 5, 2016 / Arundyna - Feb 5, 2016
The frozen pies are stored on the container to hold the heat - Fish Pie manufacturing process

2 - According to the figure, there are two major process in the pies making process. (It is better if you...

Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Feb 5, 2016 / wulanbila16 - Feb 5, 2016
Any field of study requires knowledge and experiences of other fields in order to make progress

2 - Actually, we separatedseparate the science to a variety of ... So we need to combine different branches of science...

Writing FeedbackAyda - Feb 3, 2016 / mita23 - Feb 5, 2016
One of favorite tourist destination is museums and local sites history. IELTS 2

3 - One of favorite tourist destination is museums and local sites history (historical site). As seen, majority of visitors are...

Writing Feedbackpikul - Feb 4, 2016 / Linda91 - Feb 5, 2016
Ability to save a variety of vocabularies in the brain. Kids learn a foreign language early

NEW - Some experts believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than...

Writing FeedbackNofrinorman - Feb 5, 2016 / — -
Writing Task 1: the condition of Stokeford village in 1930 and in 2010

3 - This report is well-done. Yet, a slight improvement on the overview is needed. Developing a 2-sentence overview aligning with...

Writing Feedbackmita23 - Feb 4, 2016 / eddies - Feb 5, 2016
What kind of sport should have well deserved place in schools curriculum?

3 - ... and do the sport. On account of this, there are 2 opinions. ... school do not have...

Writing Feedbackalmatina - Feb 4, 2016 / ADIE08 - Feb 5, 2016
Pie Fish production starts from delivering, clean and manufacturing, and wrapping

2 - The given picture DIAGRAM elucidates the production process of MANUFACTURING pie fish... wrapping. In this following essay all these...

Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: SOME COUNTRIES IT IS THOUGHT ADVISABLE THAT CHILDREN BEGIN FORMAL EDUCATION AT FOUR

NEW - In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four year old, while in others...

Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Feb 4, 2016 / — -
The number of people in the world explodes frequently; one of the biggest cases for human's life now

2 - this phenomenon is has been indicated as the biggest cases for human's life now recently. To begin, bighuge...

Writing Feedbackmita23 - Feb 4, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Feb 4, 2016
Many people struggle to reach a success at their work and have a happy family.

2 - HI FINA Let me correct the introduction... Many people struggle to reach a success EITHER at their work and...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Feb 4, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Feb 4, 2016
WORLD'S PROBLEM: OVERPOPULATION growth seems that it cannot be stopped

2 - I think your introduction is not really clear. I mean, since the examiner will read this first, try to...

Writing Feedbackputri22 - Feb 4, 2016 / nuni11 - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS task 1: landscape differences in Stokeford Village

3 - There are some noticeable alterationS in the proportion of infrastructures and farmlandS. Beside that, some buildingS remain unchanged or...

Writing Feedbackangga93 - Feb 4, 2016 / aflah15 - Feb 4, 2016
Today's issue is local inhabitants' desire visit museums and historical spot

2 - local inhabitants' desire visit museums and historical spot. it is argueD that authority should take this issue into...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Feb 4, 2016 / NourNour - Feb 4, 2016
Increasing the price of petrol - the best solution to traffic and pollution problems?

3 - hi! There is a belief that raising the price of petrol is the best solution to growing traffic and...

Writing Feedbackcaotungnam - Feb 4, 2016 / almatina - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS TASK 2: PROBLEM AND SOLUTION IN CAREER AND FAMILY

2 - however, I believe some viable solutions... You need to mention the solutions in your intro. This should...

Writing Feedbackpikul - Feb 4, 2016 / EF_Carol - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS Task 2 : MONITORING SYSTEM THROUGH ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY

2 - Hi Mardy, after reading and understanding your essay, I believe that you were able to come up with a...

Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Feb 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS2 - Overpopulation problem causes: ineffective birth control and an increase of free-sex cases

2 - Dwi, your essay is well thought out. The discussions are well developed. Even the conclusion is almost flawless. the...

Writing Feedbackwulanbila16 - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Stokeford's alterations over 80 years

2 - Turning to thewhen it comes to east side, a large house with a spacious garden had been modifiedrenovated to...

Writing Feedbackputri22 - Feb 4, 2016 / Saputra Putra - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 : MUSEUMS AND HISTORICAL SITES ARE DOMINATED BY INTERNATIONAL TOURISTS

NEW - Many museums and history sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people why is this? What can...

Writing Feedbackdynaranjani - Feb 4, 2016 / — -
Stokeford village: selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant

2 - ... Stokeford v Village over THE PAST 8 decades is illustrated... seen that Stokeford had lost much...

Writing Feedbackwulanbila16 - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
The process of international integration; GLOBALIZATION - Benefits & Drawbacks

2 - hi nguyen, i think your idea is good. but there are some corrections from me.. i hope it can...

Writing Feedbackngannp1911 - Feb 4, 2016 / putri22 - Feb 4, 2016
Drug addicts should be jailed - IELTS 2

2 - Sharfina, you usually have better English language usage than you have in this essay. I see a number of...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
Many museums and history sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people

NEW - Many museums and history sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people why is this? What can...

Writing Feedbacksharfina - Feb 4, 2016 / — -
The number of human being living on the earth obviously can affect the people's quality of life.

NEW - The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What...

Writing Feedbackangga93 - Feb 4, 2016 / — -
Media Should Adjust The Proportion of News Between Stars and Ordinary People

2 - In temporary age,IN THIS MODERN AGE ,media are more likely to widely spread the news regarding the affairs...

Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Feb 3, 2016 / sharfina - Feb 4, 2016
TASK 2: The Technology of Tracking and Security System; Do the merit outweigh drawback?

2 - Overall, your essay is good. There is only a little grammatical error. However, it is better if you add...

Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Feb 4, 2016 / wulanbila16 - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS 2 - People Need Music to Support Their Lives

3 - Masdar, further strengthen the discussion of your opening statement of this essay by presenting your opinion regarding the importance...

Writing Feedbackfahmisadja - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
Writing Task - 2 The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries

2 - Andri, you have presented some pretty good reasons for the discussion of the prompt. You have some grammar issues...

Writing Feedbackdcho23 - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 : SUITABLE PUNISHMENT FOR DRUG ADDICTS

2 - Dynar, the way you presented the introduction made it seem like you were going to discuss the death penalty....

Writing Feedbackdynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 : SOLUTION AND PROBLEM FROM MAINTAINING A SUCCESSFUL WORKER AND HAPPY FAMILY TIME

4 - Dynar, there is an existing conflict in your discussion. As part of your thesis statement, you have indicated that...

Writing Feedbackdynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
Each country has distinct music types. Music is one of the most popular arts in the world.

3 - Akbar, when you develop your thesis statement, specially when it should connect to a specific instruction from the prompt,...

Writing Feedbackakbarmappiare - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
Today's issue is drug users (Writing Task II)

2 - As seen, more people live with by consuming drugs. For some people, they argue that government should take...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Feb 4, 2016 / mita23 - Feb 4, 2016
Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time.

2 - Hello Saputra, I think you try too much reducing your sentences. I think it makes the sentence overcomplicated and...

Writing FeedbackSaputra Putra - Feb 4, 2016 / angga93 - Feb 4, 2016
Task 2. Both museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist rather than local people?

2 - You have a good command of advanced words, but you probably have a problem with usage. Try to refer...

Writing FeedbackRa_fhli - Feb 3, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 4, 2016
Ielts 2 : The advantages of supervision equipments that outweigh the disadvantages in society.

2 - Anissa, always give an aura of professionalism in all of your written work. Regardless of the kind of essya...

Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Feb 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 3, 2016
IELTS TASK1 the rate of online sales for several retail sectors in New Zealand

2 - Though it was less favored in 2003, lower than the sale of travel, it experienced the significant rise by...

Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Feb 3, 2016 / dynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016
IELTS TASK 1: Online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand - very convenient transaction

2 - A breakdown of proportion of internet-based trade for different four commodities in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013, a...

Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Feb 3, 2016 / dynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016
TASK 1: Annual Energy Usage of The USA from 1980 to 2030

3 - A breakdown of annual energy usage in the USA measured in Quadrillon units from 1980 to 2030, as the...

Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Feb 3, 2016 / dynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016
The relationship between children's grades and TV. TOEFL integrated essay

2 - Nour, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay. Kindly find the remarks below; -...

Writing FeedbackNourNour - Feb 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 3, 2016
Population of Urban Areas in all continents except Australia over eight decades

2 - HI Dwi I would like to help enhance your analysis on this graph. Kindly find the remarks below; ...

Writing Feedbackwulanbila16 - Feb 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 3, 2016
The idea of using information technology to work remotely is partly or totally unjustifiable

2 - Hi Dynar, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay with the focus on the last two...

Writing Feedbackdynaranjani - Feb 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 3, 2016

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