|Writing Feedback [23,070] - page 202 of 385|
|IELTS: Global warming - 'we should keep our environment'
5 - This sounds very confusing.... what do you actually mean? Your hook does not have to carry very advance...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - May 3, 2014 / dumi - May 4, 2014
|IELTS TASK 2: "Books" source is more important
4 - All of peopleEverybody in the world are learning and practicing for gettingin view of acquiring new knowledge. ...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - May 3, 2014 / dumi - May 4, 2014
|'Being parenthood is very proud in married life' - Parents are the best teacher
Writing Feedbackupinipin - May 4, 2014 / SHanafi - May 4, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1 : The winter heating cost costumers
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 23, 2014 / BOMAT_IRA - May 4, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1 : The percentage of school aged boys in 5 sports in the UK in 2010
Writing Feedbackupinipin - May 1, 2014 / fikri - May 4, 2014
|IELTS: Our planet is experiencing losses due to uncontrolled human activities
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - May 3, 2014 / upinipin - May 3, 2014
|Childhood Experiences Impact the Decisions that Individuals Make Later in Life
Writing Feedbackjune2223 - May 3, 2014 / BOMAT_IRA - May 3, 2014
|IELTS_News media is important in our society.
4 - Let's do this intro as per the structure Pahan provides :) Media plays a very dominant role in...
Writing Feedbackitsmonica - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|IElTS: Traveling to and from the UK chart - increasing numbers after 1999
4 - Well, I don't understand why you separate parts as A, B1,B2, C1. You seem to be having very good...
Writing Feedbackmmacyli - May 3, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|TOEFL: Technology impact on children's creativity.
7 - Yes, your essay looks pretty lengthy and you need to worry about that if you were not able to...
Writing FeedbackVince1992 - Apr 26, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|Germany and France electricity generation 2009
7 - The piespie charts present details ofshowGermany and France electricity generation in 2009 in Germany and France.The power of electricity...
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 25, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|IELTS ; Various genre of music ; Traditional more important that modern
6 - You can make this sentence much more interesting had you presented it is in a simpler way. Also,...
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Apr 1, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|SAT: Are we free to make our decisions or are we limited by circumstances?
4 - It is better if you included your prompt also in the essay. It helps us understanding the topic better...
Writing FeedbackItsyasmeens - Apr 25, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|TOEFL: if you had money, which one do you prefer. buying a car or going vacation
3 - Well, these two sentences mean almost the same :( One is enough because one makes the other redundant....
Writing Feedbacksevan_777 - Apr 25, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|lifetime spent in one job or move. IELTS TASK 2
4 - Please leave a space in between your paragraphs, it would help you to impress the reader to attain good...
Writing Feedbackdwiokta - May 3, 2014 / ammus1 - May 3, 2014
|IELTS essay: Parents should teach children about money
5 - Exactly... you need to analyse your writing and understand how does it deviate from the approaches and guidelines...
Writing Feedbacksamkmas - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|'robotic teacher' - Will technology replace the teacher in classroom??
Writing Feedbackanshita - May 2, 2014 / Pahan - May 2, 2014
|CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND THE INNOCENT; 52 states that have the death penalty in US
3 - Thank You....
Writing Feedbackmarti613 - May 1, 2014 / marti613 - May 2, 2014
|IELTS: traffic problems - some people in the world have a car for themselves
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 2, 2014
|'good to be realized for government' - The tax of private car owners
5 - Don't open your essay with complicated sentences :( Here you leave the reader with so many questions -...
Writing Feedbackupinipin - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 2, 2014
|Ielts: most popular sports - the pie chart
9 - Dear Pahan and MisterWandering thank you very much! What can you say about coherence and grammar??...
Writing FeedbackAbdurasul - May 1, 2014 / Abdurasul - May 2, 2014
|'our life would be easier'; government's money for improving computer technology
3 - First of all, an improved computer technology will inevitably make our lives easier by offering very sophisticated and advanced...
Writing Feedbackbestonline99 - Apr 23, 2014 / dumi - May 2, 2014
|ielts - Every year several languages die cut; Language as pride of every nation
13 - Thanks alot dumi :) now I will write another essay and will try to do like you have suggested...
Writing Feedbackmrs rafey - Apr 28, 2014 / mrs rafey - May 2, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1: USA marathon records by age and gender in hours.
Writing FeedbackAbdurasul - May 2, 2014 / MisterWandering - May 2, 2014
|TOEFL: Famous people are bothered by the media
7 - One reason isthatwhy television and newspapers focus on famous peoples' lives isin order to increase their audience or readership....
Writing FeedbackAngelaB - Apr 27, 2014 / Pahan - May 2, 2014
|IELTS: Nowadays an increasing number of people change their jobs
4 - Ok, let's do the intro as per dumi's approach; Career plays an important role in one's success (hook) ...
Writing Feedbackata2931977 - May 2, 2014 / Pahan - May 2, 2014
|IELTS Task 1 : UK Residence travel report
3 - BritonsBritish travelerscoming highest movement revealed the number ofhave mostly traveled abroad on holiday purpose recording 20.700 holiday trips...
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 2, 2014
|IELTS: Capital Punishment - is beneficial to penalize the recidivist
5 - However, in the side of humanistic viewfrom a more humanistic perspective, every human being should be honour for...
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - May 1, 2014 / dumi - May 2, 2014
|IELTS Task 2: To solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car
5 - ... this is contains some errors ...As result, the pollution's level will be reduced. I correct...
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - May 1, 2014 / SHanafi - May 1, 2014
|Water cycles - process showing how water evaporates, condenses and precipitates
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - Apr 28, 2014 / brandymhunter - May 1, 2014
|Should children be reeducated with severe methods?
8 - Also, I forgot to make my admin requests in the previous post - You should include the prompt in...
Writing FeedbackmasteringIELTS - Apr 25, 2014 / dumi - May 1, 2014
|IELTS:The stages and equipment used in the cement-making process
6 - The diagram shows how cement is producedthe stages of cement and concrete productionand how is way of using cement...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - Apr 28, 2014 / dumi - May 1, 2014
|IELTS_TASK2_ People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives
4 - In present-day society, to accomplish own dreams, most people hashave failed to keep a balance between their busy work...
Writing Feedbackitsmonica - May 1, 2014 / niesaysi - May 1, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1: Sport in UK - boys interested to play football
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - May 1, 2014 / fikri - May 1, 2014
|IELTS: paying taxes is enough contribution from citizens
8 - Hi alexwater... in this sentence, I look 2 verb through conjunction. If in the sentence use two verb,...
Writing Feedbackalexwater - Apr 28, 2014 / Eva Novita Sari - May 1, 2014
|IELTS Task 2 : People move to cities is increasing
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Apr 27, 2014 / dumi - May 1, 2014
|Ielts: Why people are moving to big cities - social issue
6 - First, you write very well. However, you need to have more specific examples to support the reasons you are...
Writing Feedbackxingshigang3030 - Apr 25, 2014 / dumi - May 1, 2014
|IELTS: Planning a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington.
8 - In this diagram, there is no reference to governments. So, you should not touch on anything that is...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - Apr 29, 2014 / dumi - May 1, 2014
|IELTS: Greenhouse gases trap energy from the sun
9 - Greenhouse give affects to atmosphere and earth. Your detailed body paras are not adequately informing the details of what...
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 25, 2014 / Pahan - May 1, 2014
|IELTS: Government should be considered to budget more for preventing programs
3 - after this sentence, it will seem more interesting if you add some supporting sentences in the next which...
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Apr 30, 2014 / fikri - May 1, 2014
|IELTS Task 1: The graphs above give information about computer ownership
8 - Generally, percentage of people who haveowned a computer increased from 2002 to 2010 and it is same astrend with...
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - Apr 30, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS task 2: A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money...
4 - Money is undeniably pivotal, but there are various ways of earning itmoneyis alsovarious . A person's great prosperity does...
Writing Feedbackminhvo - Apr 26, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: problem of obesity and how to solve it; parents & school all have a role
Writing Feedbackhbzezo - Apr 26, 2014 / fikri - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS Task 1 : Adult educational survey report
Writing FeedbackSHanafi - Apr 1, 2014 / dumi - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: Many old buildings = history --> it is very important to protect them
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - Apr 30, 2014 / Eva Novita Sari - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1 : Planning new supermarket in Pellington (by upinipin)
7 - In Task 1 of the IELTS test, you ARE NOT required to give your personal opinion. So you should...
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 29, 2014 / zztrieuman - Apr 30, 2014
|'monster if we cannot manage it well' - Movies or tv influence people's behavior
7 - Television is one of the most popular media used by any household. It has also becomingbecome an important...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - Apr 29, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: People attend collage or university especially for career preparation
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 29, 2014 / dumi - Apr 30, 2014
|"Get bored because nothing to do around" - a new movie theater may be built
7 - Second, the closest movie theater is 25 minutes from my home and it is quite a distance we need...
Writing Feedbacksamuelbartoli - Apr 18, 2014 / dumi - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: limited resources, infrastructure; traditional house vs modern apartment?
Writing Feedbacksamkmas - Apr 30, 2014 / eddies - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: Children are working for money, therefore they learn the value of money
4 - Children at work raise long-standing debates. While some people argue that this is good to teach new skills...
Writing Feedback19epuzam - Apr 26, 2014 / eddies - Apr 30, 2014
|Classification essay; aren't rock music isn't boring - 'sub-genres of choice'
3 - Rock music is important to me because it acts as an outlet for expressing things that I am unable...
Writing FeedbackOrangeeskies - Apr 21, 2014 / dumi - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS WRITING TASK 2- MUSIC IN THE WOLD TODAY
4 - Above all, nowadays, people are always surrounded with music. International pop music is a trend in the near future,...
Writing Feedbacktiandteo - Apr 24, 2014 / samkmas - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS TASK 2: Animals should not be exploited by people
6 - In my opinion, I think that animals should have the same rights as human beings because animals are also...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - Apr 29, 2014 / samkmas - Apr 30, 2014
|IELTS: should all offenders be sent to prisons? 'alternative punishment'
8 - You have very good writing skills. Improve on the essay structure as Pahan suggested to you because this task...
Writing FeedbackYvonne_lulu - Apr 29, 2014 / dumi - Apr 30, 2014
|Mindfulness Reflection - Communications course essay
3 - Thank you for your immediate response. You brought many points to my attention that I had overlooked. ...
Writing Feedbackbrandymhunter - Apr 29, 2014 / brandymhunter - Apr 29, 2014
|IELTS: Proposed sites for a new hypermarket in the city of Pellington.
6 - The map shows three recommendedgeographical locationSforof a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in Pellington Town. Overall, population...
Writing FeedbackBOMAT_IRA - Apr 29, 2014 / eddies - Apr 29, 2014
|"Living alone without parent" - Do you guys think this is good narrative essay?
4 - Even though I madefell into troubles from my mistake, I knew that my mom was always there for me....
Writing Feedbackgwp1095 - Apr 25, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 29, 2014
|IELTS TASK 1 : The electricity consumption and cost per year
Writing Feedbackupinipin - Apr 24, 2014 / fikri - Apr 29, 2014
|IELTS 1:Type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
5 - This shows redundancy. is this you mean: people like(d) eating hamburgers bring simplicity and clarity. Do...
Writing FeedbackEva Novita Sari - Apr 24, 2014 / eddies - Apr 29, 2014
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