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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 23)

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[Writing Task 1] Statistics about branches of banks and financial institutions in Nepal in 2019

2 - I must point out an evident error that has appeared twice now in your task 1 writing presentations. You...

Writing Feedbackhanablaaaa - Dec 22, 2022 / Holt - Dec 23, 2022
[IELTS Writing Task 2] Parents with good careers now spend less time with their kids

5 - Your word choice is advanced, but the way you build sentences is not clear enough. Besides, the redundancy of...

Writing Feedbacknguyenlehalinh - Dec 14, 2022 / hanablaaaa - Dec 22, 2022
Concentrate on only a single skill - IELTS Wrtiting TASK 2

3 - they had no income from offline classes for several weeks, and the reason is that the only job they...

Writing FeedbackDuyPham - Dec 19, 2022 / Thaithao47 - Dec 21, 2022
Power generation (IELTS writing task2 2 part question)

2 - Incorrect statement. It is not implied but rather stated as a fact in the original prompt. Try to...

Writing FeedbackThaithao47 - Dec 19, 2022 / Holt - Dec 20, 2022
Advantages of reading books

4 - You could proofread with a grammar checker online to frame your sentence structure correctly. Would also suggest paragraphing your...

Writing FeedbackChouchou292 - Dec 18, 2022 / Exceptional - Dec 20, 2022
[Writing Task 2] Social health care for the old and reasons

5 - I think you should increase the confidence in your essay. Words like "In my opinion" are unnecessary. Overall, I...

Writing Feedbackhanablaaaa - Dec 14, 2022 / chelseaanasts - Dec 17, 2022
The consumption of fish - Writing task 1 ; line graph

5 - I think you need to enrich your vocabularies so you can use a lot of non-repetitive vocabularies in your...

Writing Feedbacknhomnhi - Dec 15, 2022 / chelseaanasts - Dec 17, 2022
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Computer Programmes for Teaching Purposes

2 - The total discussion approach to the given prompt is not based on the expected discussion format. For starters, the...

Writing Feedbackadriennguyen - Dec 17, 2022 / Holt - Dec 17, 2022
The primary means of travelling adopted - IELTS WRITING TASK 1 PIE CHARTS

2 - The summary overview is confusing when it comes to describing the provided images. The images do not compare data...

Writing Feedbackbinhminhtran24 - Dec 16, 2022 / Holt - Dec 17, 2022
Culcure - the arts should be replaced by science, technology or business - Ielts writing task 2

2 - The writer did an acceptable job in his restatement and opinion presentation. However, his discussion fell short of the...

Writing Feedbackthuyhang2004 - Dec 13, 2022 / Holt - Dec 14, 2022
[TASK 1] How many Vietnamese students studied in three different countries over a 15 years period

2 - Writing 201 words is stretching the writing time too close. With only 20 minutes to complete this task the...

Writing Feedbackmamoru22 - Dec 13, 2022 / Holt - Dec 14, 2022
Air contamination in urban areas - causes and solutions

2 - The writer has composed a non scorable restatement + writers opinion. Rather than paraphrasing the topic, the writer offered...

Writing FeedbackAmykute - Dec 12, 2022 / Holt - Dec 13, 2022
Is money a true indicator of the success of a business?

3 - From my understanding of the question, I think it's asking whether money is a true indicator of the success...

Writing Feedbacklinat1312 - Dec 8, 2022 / Pettypet - Dec 12, 2022
Pros and cons of writing language in informal way_IELTS part 2

3 - The first paragraph doesn't do much. Instead you announcing you are going to give the pros and cons, just...

Writing Feedbackhanablaaaa - Dec 4, 2022 / Annie97 - Dec 12, 2022
Fashion industry's impact on society

7 - First of all, you might need to explain first why buying a lot of cloths is a bad habit....

Writing Feedbackhehehehe345 - Dec 1, 2022 / Annie97 - Dec 12, 2022
IELTS Writing Task 2: Digital technology enables anyone to produce films

3 - The two reasons of people being able to make films should be connected to why you consider this phenomenon...

Writing Feedbackxinhaylagiacmo - Dec 9, 2022 / Annie97 - Dec 12, 2022
IElTS Writing Task 2: Plastic shopping bags are used widely and caused many environmental problems.

5 - If you are to compare plastic bags to paper bags, you should illustrate this point in the very beginning....

Writing Feedbackminhhoangvn - Nov 16, 2022 / Annie97 - Dec 12, 2022
Many people argue that social media makes individuals do not have to directly communicate together

2 - While the grammar of the essay leans more on the incorrect sentence structure and word usage side, the writer...

Writing Feedbackdungqndt - Dec 8, 2022 / Holt - Dec 8, 2022
Explain the benefits or inconveniences of travel

5 - You should connect your sentences to be more coherent. The first step is focus on your main idea and...

Writing FeedbackBun cha - Nov 20, 2022 / dungqndt - Dec 8, 2022
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?

4 - Your conclusion is quite short, you should enlarge it to around 5 sentences while summarizing the requirement. By splitting...

Writing FeedbackKhaiHuuNguyen - Dec 2, 2022 / hanablaaaa - Dec 4, 2022
People with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments

3 - I liked the content of your essay however the prompt was about your opinion and you, I could not...

Writing Feedbackjenny0601 - Nov 28, 2022 / Meriem slimani - Dec 2, 2022
Should universities only accept top students? - Writing Task 2

2 - This phrase indicates that you already have an opinion that you will be sharing with the reader. Therefore,...

Writing Feedbacksuhihi - Dec 1, 2022 / Holt - Dec 2, 2022
Why people waste a lot of food bought from stores and restaurants and what can be done to solve this

3 - I believe the conclusion could be much stronger. Instead of talking in generalities, perhaps provide clarity. What are the...

Writing FeedbackNgTien - Nov 30, 2022 / lhyphotos - Dec 1, 2022
Essay about challenges and opportunities that my community has to face in Covid-19 pandemic

2 - The opening paragraph is confusing. If the focus of the essay is to be the community of the writer,...

Writing Feedbacklingchoo - Nov 29, 2022 / Holt - Nov 30, 2022
Received an email from club

2 - One topic per thread The email cannot be properly reviewed in its current state. When no writing instructions...

Writing Feedbackericvo1810 - Nov 29, 2022 / Holt - Nov 30, 2022
Parents are often unaware of the difficulties their children face and are unable to help them.

3 - Thank you, so my problem is using too much complex grammar and structures in this writing? Can you give...

Writing FeedbackHien My - Nov 27, 2022 / Hien My - Nov 29, 2022
What will you want to be in the future and what have you done to make your dream come true?

4 - Clearly, there are too many (...) -> There are too many things I still need to do...

Writing Feedbackphuniem1502 - Nov 25, 2022 / hopefullyUBC - Nov 29, 2022
My household chores is very boring

4 - There's a lot of repetition within the writing. I think you can definitely find a synonym for "chores" instead...

Writing FeedbackCiocasino - Nov 28, 2022 / Slyrae - Nov 28, 2022
The high population density happening in metropolitan areas. Problems and Solutions?

2 - The essay is over-written. It is not possible to write a 368 word essay within 40 minutes. Not when...

Writing FeedbackLinhkhanhho - Nov 28, 2022 / Holt - Nov 28, 2022
(Writing Task 1) The proportion of smokers in males and females

2 - There is an inconsistency in the summary overview. The image depicts the measurements in percentage form based on half...

Writing FeedbackLuana1017 - Nov 28, 2022 / Holt - Nov 28, 2022
IELTS task 1 - The proportion of the use of water in several areas of the world in three categories

6 - I think you should not use the word "below" in introduction part because when you take real ielts exem,...

Writing FeedbackYukizuna - Nov 18, 2022 / Luana1017 - Nov 28, 2022
Three unhealthy nutrients in American daily menu - the pie charts

2 - The essay falls one word short of the 150 word requirement. As such, it will receive automatic deductions for...

Writing Feedbackstudyingwithjane - Nov 27, 2022 / Holt - Nov 27, 2022
The diagrams below show the site of a school and the plan for changes to the school site.

2 - Do not focus on word usage alone. There are several instances in this presentation when the word choice is...

Writing Feedbackditmemay - Nov 27, 2022 / Holt - Nov 27, 2022
The charts give information about world forest in five different regions.

4 - There is insigficant repetition in your essay in terms of words and the first body of the passage is...

Writing Feedbacktea555 - Nov 19, 2022 / ditmemay - Nov 27, 2022
Tax private car owners to improve public transportation - ADVANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGE?

2 - The writer will do well to remember that a task 2 essay scores the accuracy of the information provided...

Writing FeedbackAngieNguyen17 - Nov 25, 2022 / Holt - Nov 26, 2022
Teaching children to manage money and their meaning in life

2 - The essay is definitely strong on the reasoning side. The writer fully explains his theory regarding teaching children about...

Writing Feedbacknobrand - Nov 24, 2022 / Holt - Nov 25, 2022
Promoting healthy lifestyle or treating diseases?

5 - While people argue that (...) This is a sentence fragment. To be grammatically correct, you must add another clause...

Writing FeedbackNamFPT - Nov 17, 2022 / Bun cha - Nov 24, 2022
Renovations in the sports centres - IELTS WRITING TEST 4 CAMBRIDGE 13

2 - ONE TASK AT A TIME. The summary overview and trending statement is not very well developed. It has...

Writing Feedbackditmemay - Nov 23, 2022 / Holt - Nov 23, 2022
The pie charts below show units of electricity production from fuel sources in Australia and France

2 - The essay is not fully analyzed, discussed, and presented in this reporting essay. The writer has not focused on...

Writing FeedbackThao4real - Nov 18, 2022 / Holt - Nov 20, 2022
The nitrogen oxide produced by 4 types of transports

2 - Never forget to analyze the timeline provided in the image. There is always a clue as to whether this...

Writing FeedbackDanielDang - Nov 19, 2022 / Holt - Nov 20, 2022
Writing 1: The bar chart shows mobile usage in a country by age group from 1998 to 2000.

3 - you forgot to add "the" before the "highest" and the "lowest". These faults of grammar will decrease your overall...

Writing Feedbackphamthao0710 - Nov 18, 2022 / DanielDang - Nov 19, 2022
Writng task 2: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime.

2 - While the writer more than met the required word count to gain proper scoring consideration based on each scoring...

Writing Feedbackkieu mai - Nov 19, 2022 / Holt - Nov 19, 2022
The table below shows daily oil production in 4 countries from 2000 to 2004

3 - "while a gradual decline in oil production was seen during the period" I guess you forgot to mention about...

Writing Feedbacklavendar95 - Nov 2, 2022 / Thao4real - Nov 18, 2022
IELTS 1: The increases and decreases of CO2 emissions per person in four european countries

3 - I think you should use " between....and .....". In your sentence, you use " between 1967 to 1977". In...

Writing FeedbackLuana1017 - Nov 15, 2022 / Thao4real - Nov 18, 2022
The percentage of age groups in the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050

4 - I think that you shouldn't use "firstly". After finishing your overall, you can write "According to the given chart",...

Writing Feedbackdat1234567 - Nov 11, 2022 / Thao4real - Nov 18, 2022
The charts; the percentage of boys and girls aged 5-14 taking part in cultural activities and sports

4 - I don't think you should use "while " at the beginning of the sentence, and "while significantly more males...

Writing Feedbacksofia0125 - Nov 5, 2022 / Thao4real - Nov 18, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - TAX LIABILITY OF PARENTS OF CHILDREN ENROLLING IN PRIVATE SCHOOLS

2 - The opening paraphrase is missing one reference. Since there are 2 reference points in the original prompt, the interpretation...

Writing Feedbackvocongminhbuh - Nov 17, 2022 / Holt - Nov 17, 2022
Essay about hosting an international sports and how it effects a given country

2 - There is an error in the approach of the writer to the given discussion. He has decided to disregard...

Writing Feedbackdkhoa0206 - Nov 17, 2022 / Holt - Nov 17, 2022
These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work.

2 - Since the term "partner" is gender neutral, and the original reference is gender specific, the writer should use a...

Writing FeedbackHai Duong Do - Nov 16, 2022 / Holt - Nov 16, 2022
Social media as the replacement for directly communication all over the world

4 - The last paragraph could use a bit more of work as it is the last one, it should impact...

Writing Feedbackngochongnhung - Oct 31, 2022 / Nanya_26 - Nov 15, 2022
People living in cities and towns in some areas

3 - I would recommend that you check your grammar. Some syntactic issues are interfering with the reading and I had...

Writing FeedbackDanielDang - Nov 15, 2022 / Nanya_26 - Nov 15, 2022
(Writing Task 1) The debris created by three companies

3 - I think the writer is lack of detailed number on the last paragraph, which could lead to a decrease...

Writing Feedbackdungqndt - Nov 15, 2022 / DanielDang - Nov 15, 2022
Culture diversity in the host country

2 - The student is merely repeating the same errors using different prompt topics. This is his 3rd essay posted here...

Writing Feedbackhnguyn7 - Nov 12, 2022 / Holt - Nov 14, 2022
Children should be strictly controlled, this asserts by some parents and teachers. Others disagree.

2 - It is difficult to decide where to begin with the review of this failing score essay. Do I start...

Writing Feedbackhnguyn7 - Nov 12, 2022 / Holt - Nov 14, 2022
Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence.

3 - @Holt ty very much i really appreciate that...

Writing Feedbackducanhng - Nov 12, 2022 / ducanhng - Nov 13, 2022
Information about European people visited gym

2 - A text composed of 190 words will find itself in a good position to receive positive scoring considerations based...

Writing FeedbackDanielDang - Nov 12, 2022 / Holt - Nov 13, 2022
Discuss benefits of extracurricular activities to secondary school students

2 - The student has not understood the meaning of an extra curricular activity. He has focused incorrectly on outside learning...

Writing Feedbackmai_anh_doan - Nov 12, 2022 / Holt - Nov 13, 2022
The data regarding how the rates of birth fluctuated from 1920 to 2000 in China and USA

3 - These are my comments: - The sentence "the Chinese counterpart underwent a comparatively similar pattern" should be put in...

Writing Feedbackhalinh2000 - Nov 8, 2022 / hnguyn7 - Nov 12, 2022
Children & Family topic, talk about pressure on children

4 - ... are the oneones who are ... (this sentence is too complicated, i reckon you should put 2 clauses...

Writing FeedbackMaria_Ph - Nov 7, 2022 / hnguyn7 - Nov 12, 2022
IELTS TASK 1: Time spent on smartphones and tablets, by category.

2 - The word "graphics" could indicate numerous image types. It is not specific enough to describe a task 1 image....

Writing Feedbackdqhuy3108 - Nov 9, 2022 / Holt - Nov 10, 2022

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