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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 30)

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IELTS Writing Task 1 - The changes in ownership of electrical appliances and time doing housework

2 - While I can understand why the writer used a non-uniform summary presentation, it becomes useless when the required information...

Writing Feedbackridzkiekky - Jun 22, 2022 / Holt - Jun 23, 2022
WT 1: (Pie Charts): Enrollment in different fields of study at a particular universities in 2021

4 - 1. The year is in the past so you need to put the grammar all in past tense ex....

Writing Feedbackgiangngoc - Jun 14, 2022 / beckaa - Jun 23, 2022
IELTS Task 1 essay about the rate of people working in different jobs in 2 towns

6 - 1. "It can be seen that" shouldn't be stated in the 2nd paragraph, instead you could say " Overall,...

Writing FeedbackMinh Tam - Jun 5, 2022 / beckaa - Jun 23, 2022
People going to cinemas - Writing task 1: Bar chart

3 - Looking at the graph in more details, as far as Monday, Saturday and Sunday were concerned, they born resemblance...

Writing FeedbackTran Phuong Thuy - Jun 15, 2022 / ridzkiekky - Jun 22, 2022
Glass recycling - IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - PROCESS

3 - This introduction is way to short for me. Try to paraphrase the topic. The process is quite confusing....

Writing Feedbackpth_12345 - Jun 15, 2022 / ridzkiekky - Jun 22, 2022
Although a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous.

2 - This essay may be written correctly in the eyes of the writer but, in the eyes of the examiner,...

Writing FeedbackTiomo - Jun 21, 2022 / Holt - Jun 22, 2022
Opportunity to observe his motivation, personality and work ethic. LoR on behalf of Supervisor.

2 - There is very little difference in the tone of both opening paragraphs. These are actually more like clones of...

Writing FeedbackIcy - Jun 21, 2022 / Holt - Jun 21, 2022
How many people contracted diarrhea in Mashhad throughout the period from 1983 to 1992

2 - The shortened presentation requires more work. It is extremely short and creates confusion for the reader. Image identification is...

Writing Feedbackitsyourlinh - Jun 21, 2022 / Holt - Jun 21, 2022
The chart illustrates the amount of waste that was disposed and how they changed (2005 - 2008)

2 - A clear summary presentation must be composed of individual information sentences. By definition, a sentence is composed of one...

Writing Feedbackdrcyyy - Jun 20, 2022 / Holt - Jun 21, 2022
The line graph depicts the proportion of people in the UK who went to the movies once a month

2 - Be careful with the use of tenses in the report. remember that the reference years have already passed. Therefore...

Writing Feedbackbeckaa - Jun 20, 2022 / Holt - Jun 20, 2022
Opinion essay regarding the trend that shopping is taken as a hobby.

2 - The writer cannot use an opposing point of view in the development of the response. He was prevented from...

Writing Feedbackparaghat - Jun 20, 2022 / Holt - Jun 20, 2022
Advantages and Disadvantages Essay about the value of Advertisements

2 - The essay that has been written does not meet the discussion requirement. The current presentation uses an advantage V....

Writing Feedbackdanielsmith - Jun 20, 2022 / Holt - Jun 20, 2022
Teenagers get a year-long break for pursuing their dreams, travelling or learning something new

3 - Nowadays, some people believe that freshmen are likely ... In this essay, I will scrutinize ... For...

Writing Feedbackdongoclinh - Jun 18, 2022 / danielsmith - Jun 20, 2022
The pie charts illustrates how many people took part in organizations voluntarily (2008 and 2014)

5 - Conversely, the figure for a person in an educational organization and others ......

Writing Feedbackuyen2028 - Jun 5, 2022 / danielsmith - Jun 20, 2022
The chart compares the proportion of students who come from China, Japan and India to North Dean Un.

3 - The chart compares (...) and India who enrolled at North Dean ... ... Chinese and Indian students, while ......

Writing Feedbackahihihu - Jun 19, 2022 / danielsmith - Jun 20, 2022
Today, women no longer feel the need to get married due to strong financial capability. Do you agree

2 - Do not overstate the opinion presentation by using an emotional response. This is not an extent response essay. Use...

Writing Feedbackglish27 - Jun 18, 2022 / Holt - Jun 18, 2022
Some say that because many people are living much longer, the retirement age should be raised

2 - The writer did an almost excellent job in the prompt restatement and personal opinion. The topic presentation uses enough...

Writing Feedbackdoanhly - Jun 18, 2022 / Holt - Jun 18, 2022
Effects of science on the food we eat

2 - This is not an academic sounding phrase. Since the writer is practicing to write academic papers, informal English...

Writing FeedbackManaro - Jun 17, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Vietnamese eating habits from the past and now

2 - It is incorrect to use 2 successive punctuation marks. One cannot use a comma and ellipses successively, or any...

Writing FeedbackManaro - Jun 17, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Too much money has been used in conserving wild animals - IELTS test

2 - Do not overemphasize the opinion presentation unless asked to do so in an extent essay. Always ensure that the...

Writing Feedbacklilxlys022007 - Jun 17, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Students should know the science of food? IELTS TASK 2 - Discuss opinion

2 - This is nota true or false discussion. There is no need to claim that one point of view is...

Writing Feedbackkhalepro - Jun 17, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
In this era, while choosing the job, money has inevitably been the most essential component

2 - This essay has several problems that will lead to a failing score. The first of which is the over...

Writing Feedbackyousha64 - Jun 16, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever?

2 - The prompt restatement totally messes the point. When the mention of "rule of law" was committed in the rewording,...

Writing Feedbackdanielsmith - Jun 16, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Today, there are more men's than women's sports on TV. Why? Should TV give equal time for them all?

2 - Good topic restatement. It shows a good English comprehension skill. I wish that this skill in English thinking was...

Writing Feedbackthinh3110 - Jun 16, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Some people claim that doing the same things is a way to keep a good habits. Others, however..

2 - The original prompt does not indicate any controversy surrounding the given topic. This is an unwarranted exageration that altered...

Writing Feedbackphamminhchau - Jun 16, 2022 / Holt - Jun 17, 2022
Living in a horizontal city is probably the best option, but others tend to live in a vertical city

2 - Give a clear reason why you support the latter opinion in your personal point of view statement. By adding...

Writing Feedbackthanhtu - Jun 16, 2022 / Holt - Jun 16, 2022
A reflection essay about crowds effect

2 - This is actually a paper about group social behavior rather than crowd behavior. The title of the paper maybe...

Writing Feedbackteamatcha - Jun 15, 2022 / Holt - Jun 15, 2022
Foods shipping from afar - IELTS score

2 - The opening sentence presents an opposite meaning from what the writer actually meant. The sentence indicates that the country...

Writing FeedbackDavid Tran - Jun 15, 2022 / Holt - Jun 15, 2022
The ancient outlooks IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2

2 - There are 2 opposing points of view in the original prompt that refer to specific groups. These groups must...

Writing Feedbacksandranguyenanh0 - Jun 15, 2022 / Holt - Jun 15, 2022
Technology has made man dumb

4 - @Holt I think there is some misunderstanding here, this is not an IELTS essay! It is an ACCUPLACER essay...

Writing Feedbackanmolwrites - Jun 14, 2022 / anmolwrites - Jun 15, 2022
Why do people risk their lives in extreme activities, and do you think this is a good trend?

3 - @Holt thank you for your feedback, this is my first essay so it is still contain a lot of...

Writing Feedbackcharlieyang207 - Jun 9, 2022 / charlieyang207 - Jun 15, 2022
IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2: Adverts to persuading potential buyers

3 - Thank for your review. It will be really helpful for me in my next essay....

Writing FeedbackMinhhh2005 - Jun 12, 2022 / Minhhh2005 - Jun 14, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Framed pictures and photo sharing websites

2 - Do not focus on over-explaining the reasoning paragraphs. Remember that the 40 minute task only allows foI the following...

Writing Feedbacknhmt - Jun 14, 2022 / Holt - Jun 14, 2022
Writing Task 2 - Problem and Solution - Young people live in major cities.

2 - This is an essay was written without the benefit of time constraints. Had the writer practiced with a timer...

Writing Feedbackquynhtotrd - Jun 14, 2022 / Holt - Jun 14, 2022
Some people think we should have one job, but others think we should do more than one job.

2 - The writer needs to provide a more detailed prompt restatement and personal opinion presentation. This first paragraph does not...

Writing FeedbackTopmo - Jun 14, 2022 / Holt - Jun 14, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Pie charts - transportation to travel to a university

3 - not a professional but you can improve by using advannced phrase: upward/ downward trend,... balenced 2 pas...

Writing Feedbackieltslover_1 - Jun 13, 2022 / johnny sins - Jun 13, 2022
Damage due to Hurricane Katrina

2 - Word capitalization rules were not followed in the writing of this statement. A capital letter cannot follow a comma...

Writing FeedbackBHUMIK_DEV - Jun 13, 2022 / Holt - Jun 13, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 The amount of money spent by british parents on their children's sports

2 - The summary overview is quite confusing to the reader. It fails to clearly state the number of line graphs...

Writing Feedbackahmadsalim - Jun 13, 2022 / Holt - Jun 13, 2022
Report on services provided by health centers

2 - Where is the list of services for comparison in the summary? The reader has no idea what you begin...

Writing FeedbackAxis0019 - Jun 12, 2022 / Holt - Jun 13, 2022
It is said that punishment is essential to discipline children at an early age

2 - The writer does not offer a related topic paraphrasing nor a relevant extent response in the first paragraph. It...

Writing Feedbacknajaeminamerican - Jun 12, 2022 / Holt - Jun 12, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - paper, wood pulp and sawn good

2 - The summary overview is not off to a good start. It is missing important elements such as the measurement...

Writing Feedbackisls_1 - Jun 12, 2022 / Holt - Jun 12, 2022
Use animals as food - Writing task 2 - opinion essay. for your time.

4 - @Axis0019 thanks you so much <3...

Writing Feedbackjohnny sins - Jun 12, 2022 / johnny sins - Jun 12, 2022
IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2: Government funding with preventive healthcare and disease treatment

3 - Not a pro but here are some tips. Sentences like numerous civilians sounds very mechanical and memorized, better to...

Writing FeedbackIncognitoRabbit - Jun 11, 2022 / Axis0019 - Jun 12, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Map - changes in Felixstone in the UK between 1967 and 2001

2 - Include the number of images used in the original. Even though the years that are indicated would be a...

Writing Feedbackpthli_1 - Jun 12, 2022 / Holt - Jun 12, 2022
It is positive or negative for citizens to live alone or in a nuclear family rather than in extended

2 - The essay does not respond in the expected format. The question provides for a single opinion option with a...

Writing Feedbackbilly2508 - Jun 11, 2022 / Holt - Jun 11, 2022
Report on the layouts of the ground floor of a museum.

3 - @Holt Your input is highly appreciated and will be considered when writing the next essay. Will it, however, receive...

Writing FeedbackAxis0019 - Jun 11, 2022 / Axis0019 - Jun 11, 2022
The given diagram illustrates the stages involved in the process of recycling plastics

2 - The given reference of a diagram should have been changed to a flow chart in the writer's interpretation. A...

Writing FeedbackTran Thanh Tra - Jun 11, 2022 / Holt - Jun 11, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured

3 - Thank you so much for your feedback on my essay. ^^...

Writing FeedbackMinhhh2005 - Jun 10, 2022 / Minhhh2005 - Jun 11, 2022
Check my essay about alcohol abuse. its problems and solutions

4 - "This essay will discuss both the consequences ..." A better these statement in my opinion This essay...

Writing Feedbackminhhhhhhhh - Jun 9, 2022 / Axis0019 - Jun 11, 2022
The main factors influencing a child's development these day is social factors or

5 - @William David Not a professional but here are some tips. I think you have misused the word "influency"....

Writing FeedbackWilliam David - Jun 8, 2022 / Axis0019 - Jun 11, 2022
Damage of Hurricane Katrina

3 - Thanks so much for your support....

Writing FeedbackHieupham1994 - Jun 10, 2022 / Hieupham1994 - Jun 11, 2022
Essay regarding the consumption of unhealthy food

4 - You can use "therefore" instead of "thus" to avoid repeating...

Writing FeedbackAxis0019 - Jun 6, 2022 / hoangtran - Jun 10, 2022
The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline

3 - I often use the specific year (like "the year 2014", "during 2014") instead of "the fifth year of period"...

Writing Feedbackcholleyy - Jun 10, 2022 / hoangtran - Jun 10, 2022
Ielts task 2: Do you think the development of technology is positive or negative and why?

3 - "recently due to the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic" this sentence sounds weird, but you can change it into...

Writing Feedbackhoangtran - Jun 8, 2022 / Chloeduong - Jun 9, 2022
The graph presents how many grams of fish and three types of meat were consumed by European people

2 - There should not be any rush to compress data from the image. The more sentences referenced in the summary...

Writing Feedbackwynnguyen - Jun 8, 2022 / Holt - Jun 8, 2022
Writing Task 2 : Any country should be able to sell goods to other countries without the restriction

2 - The writer tried to exaggerate his restatement and opinion paragraph which led to a less than accurate retelling of...

Writing Feedbackluthang - Jun 8, 2022 / Holt - Jun 8, 2022
IELTS WRITING TASK 1: THE PASSED DRIVING TESTS RATE

2 - Provide an accurate number for the images given for the comparative report. That plus the correct image identifier should...

Writing Feedbackhoangtran - Jun 8, 2022 / Holt - Jun 8, 2022
IELTS TASK 1: The diagram shows the process of chocolate production. Summarize the information.

3 - This essay's overall word count is insufficient to appropriately reflect the writer's reporting abilities. You can refer to other...

Writing Feedbackmetyl2945 - Jun 8, 2022 / poopie - Jun 8, 2022
The graph shows Japanese people's average monthly salary (thousands of Yen or ¥) from 1953 to 1983,

2 - 3 problems in the summary overview alone: 1. An apostrophe or apostrophe S is not used when indicating...

Writing Feedbackelwynht - Jun 8, 2022 / Holt - Jun 8, 2022
Wild animals have no place in 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources.

3 - Fellow student here trying to get better at writing essays. Not a professional so take my opinion as you...

Writing Feedbacknhu thao - Jun 7, 2022 / defy - Jun 8, 2022

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